notacow
New member
My wife sent this to me. Read it and weep.
[ NOTE: If you are male and somehow think this is a joke, you are delusional and have never been married.]
1) The female always makes "The Rules"!
2) "The Rules" are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3) No male is not allowed to know all of "The Rules", and cannot possibly understand the nuances of them. Females are born with this knowledge, and it is necessary for them to interpret "The Rules" to the male.
4) If the female suspects that the male knows all of "The Rules", she may, at her discretion change any or all of them.
5) The female is never wrong!
6) If it seems the female is wrong, it is because of a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male said or did.
7) If Rule #6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
8) The female must never explain exactly to the male what he did to cause the misunderstanding. The male must guess the correct reason, or expect to suffer the consequences of not being able to understand.
9) The female can change her mind at any given point of time, for any given length of time, without cause, reason, or explanation.
10) The male must never ask the reason, or imply that he feels it could not be a good reason.
11) The male must never change his mind without express written consent from the female. (The male, of course, must know never to ask for this consent.)
12) The female has the right to be angry or upset at any time.
13) The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset!
14) The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
15) Any attempt to change "The Rules" could result in bodily harm, extreme emotional distress, financial loss, severe servitude, gratuitous groveling, or the implementation of the "No-Nooky" clause (which only the female understands when and why it is to be implemented).
Love,
oxo
[ NOTE: If you are male and somehow think this is a joke, you are delusional and have never been married.]
1) The female always makes "The Rules"!
2) "The Rules" are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3) No male is not allowed to know all of "The Rules", and cannot possibly understand the nuances of them. Females are born with this knowledge, and it is necessary for them to interpret "The Rules" to the male.
4) If the female suspects that the male knows all of "The Rules", she may, at her discretion change any or all of them.
5) The female is never wrong!
6) If it seems the female is wrong, it is because of a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male said or did.
7) If Rule #6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
8) The female must never explain exactly to the male what he did to cause the misunderstanding. The male must guess the correct reason, or expect to suffer the consequences of not being able to understand.
9) The female can change her mind at any given point of time, for any given length of time, without cause, reason, or explanation.
10) The male must never ask the reason, or imply that he feels it could not be a good reason.
11) The male must never change his mind without express written consent from the female. (The male, of course, must know never to ask for this consent.)
12) The female has the right to be angry or upset at any time.
13) The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset!
14) The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
15) Any attempt to change "The Rules" could result in bodily harm, extreme emotional distress, financial loss, severe servitude, gratuitous groveling, or the implementation of the "No-Nooky" clause (which only the female understands when and why it is to be implemented).
Love,
oxo
