an ex dating your lifting partner

dedprez*

dedprez*

New member
how many have had the experience of this happening??i recently have and i think i am not liking it so good....makes me wonder if when we lifted together if she was there for me...or him....that type of thing....also it doesnt help that she is still a good friend and our relationship is not what i would like it to b...ladies ...gents...help me out...what would u do...??
 
Well if the ex is from a long time ago I would let it go.
But it sounds like she is recent and you still might have some feelings for her which is understandable. And if that is the case, you partner should have asked you if it would bother you if they dated. If it bothers you enough, go up to your buddy and explain that things between you and your ex might not be completely done with and that you would appreciate if he would lay off for a bit. If he won't, toss him. There are plenty of other bros that can train with you that won't stab you in the back. If all that is bothering you is that she might have had feelings for him when she was with you, I wouldn't dwell on it. Most of the time, I think women are pretty geniune with their feelings towards you. I think you would have been able to tell if she was straying. Hope I'ved helped.
 
yeah, sounds like you still have something for her. Otherwise, you wouldn't be thinking twice about it. Hell, one of my ex's ended up marrying one of my best friends...never a problem. I'd think about your position on this hard before you confront anyone else on theirs...no sense ruining friendships over shit that's not really worth it.
 
That's a tough one. My advice is to squelch your urge to confront anyone. Sometimes things are not what they seem to be on the surface. The relationship may have been initiated under totally different circumstances that what you are thinking. Your thoughts of her having feelings for him while you two were dating may be unfounded. Usually these issues surface over time.

Now if it were me, knowing how I am, I would be pissed as hell and probably distance myself from them as much as possible. I don’t like distractions in the gym and to me that would be a distraction. That is one of the biggest reasons I avoided dating people at the gym even though I wanted too.
 
friend????

this happened to me!! if that guy was REALLY your friend he would have either spoke to you about it first or just avoided her. Pussy is not worth losing a GOOD friend over. Women are like trains, if you miss one, another will eventually come around again! so i would dump him as a friend and training partner and totally ignore her and get a new and improved one!! take this advice from an experienced 40yr old!

warchild
 
I am with warchild with this one. Friends would have handled it a different way and to me that means a sh*t load of trust, respect, etc. Just my .02
 
She could be using him to A: get back at you, if you did her any wrong B: make you jealous so you dont forget your feelings about her.. sometimes girls get over guys , but we dont want you over us.. yes its screwed up I know or C: she may want you back, and is doing a crappy job of showing it just my .02 which means nada
 
I'd just let it go,she's an X-GF,not an X-wife with kids. Let her live her life and you live yours,it's not like you can control her and it's not worth ruining a good friendship by trying to. Blow it off and move on. Just my 2centz prez.
 
That shit would piss me off to no end, he should have talked to you about it first to make sure you would be alright with it. That would have been what a true friend would have done. But like what some of the others said I would definitely distance yourself from them....Screw Them!! And channel that anger and all those other feelings into a kick ass workout. :)
 
The best way to piss off an X is to show off your latest conquest. I think I'd also find a new lifting partner. It sounds like he's not that good of fried anyway.
 
MacGyver said:
Well if the ex is from a long time ago I would let it go.
But it sounds like she is recent and you still might have some feelings for her which is understandable. And if that is the case, you partner should have asked you if it would bother you if they dated. If it bothers you enough, go up to your buddy and explain that things between you and your ex might not be completely done with and that you would appreciate if he would lay off for a bit. If he won't, toss him. There are plenty of other bros that can train with you that won't stab you in the back. If all that is bothering you is that she might have had feelings for him when she was with you, I wouldn't dwell on it. Most of the time, I think women are pretty geniune with their feelings towards you. I think you would have been able to tell if she was straying. Hope I'ved helped.
Click to expand...

i agree with MacGyver on this one...
 
I don't know bro....if you really consider this guy a friend at least give him a chance to explain. Talk to him about it.

If you don't trust him, or you think he did something behind your back, talk to him privately.

Don't let a situation with a girl break up your friendship (if it's a lifelong friend).

If he acts like a dick about it, drop him.

Oh yeah, try to forget about the girl man.
 
ok ok....well he did ask and i gave him "my blessing" but basically who am i to say that someone cant date my ex-gf??!!also..another thing ..this is a woman that i dated for almost 6 yrs...many of uknow who it is....and i just dont like the way we all act around each othernow...everything is awkward and shit....uh...i just draw a blank .....it is driving me nutz!!!
 
Well you gave him your "blessing" which now looks like a mistake. But if it is bothering you that much and they haven't been dating long, go up to him and tell him that you thoughtyou would be ok with it but having been feeling really awkward with it. If they have been dating for a while that you can't really ask him that. Find another girl to focus your thoughts on. It works wonders.
 
Is she there when you 2 are training?...If so, I would just tell your friend that it is simply too much for you, and either you 2 need to be there without her...or you will just have to find someone else to train with because you are having touble concentrating, no hard feelings...but its just how it is. 6 years is a long time to be with one person, I think that this doesn't really mean that you want to be with her again....and I think that after a 6 year realationship, it would bother anyone in the same situation. Good Luck!
 
Man, you are his lifting partner, just load up the bar and tell him you want six, get him all pumped up to do a weight he could never do for six, get him through the first 2-3 and then.....BAM!! Just let tthat sucker drop on his chest full blown....You can play that off as an accident, and get some vengeance at the same time.

Or you could just tell him your not cool with it, a good friend will either get rid of her or tell her to beat it while your working out.

Peace, husker.
 
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