Irish Golf

A golfer in Ireland hit a bad hook into the woods. Looking for the ball, he discovered a Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head, and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer took his water bottle from his belt and poured it over the little guy, reviving him.

"Arrgh! What happen?" the leprechaun says."Oh, I see. Waal, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes. Whaddya want?"

"Thank God, you're all right!" the golfer answers in relief. "I don't want anything. I'm glad you're okay, and I apologize. I didn't mean to hit you." And the golfer walks off.

"What a nice guy," the leprechaun says to himself. "But it was fair and square that he got me, and I have to do something for him. I'll give him three things I would want --- a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life."

A year goes by and the golfer is back, hits another bad ball into the woods and finds the leprechaun waiting for him. 'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here," the little guy says. "I wanted to ask ye, how's yer golf game?"

"That's the first bad ball I've hit in a year! I'm a famous international golfer now," the golfer answers.

"By the way, it's good to see you're all right." "Oh, I'm fine now, thankee. I did that fer yer golf game. And tell me, how's yer money?" "Why, I win fortunes in golf. But if I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100 bills all day long." "I did that fer ye. And how's yer sex life?"

"The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, "Errr, all right, I suppose." "C'mon, c'mon now. I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a day?" Blushing even more, the golfer whispers, "Once—sometimes twice a week." "What!" says the leprechaun in shock. "That's all? Once or twice a week?"

"Well," says the golfer, "I figure that's not too bad for a Catholic priestin a small parish."

ROTFLMAO... my wife is irish...

not too bad

A husband and wife were driving home one night and ran into a bridge abutment and both were killed. They arrived in heaven and found it was a beautiful golf course with a lovely clubhouse and fabulous greens. It was free and only for them, and the husband said, "You want to play a round?"

She said, "Sure." They teed off on the first hole, and she said, "What's wrong?"

He said, "You know, if it hadn't been for your stupid oat bran, we could have been here years ago."

An Irishman and his wife are playing golf, when on the 11th hole he hooks his drive right in front of the equipment barn, his wife says, you are so good, I could hold the door open on the other side and you could still probably hit your shot through there up on the green. So he says Aye, I'll give it a go, hits his shot, and it pops her right in the head and kills her.

Years later he has remarried, hits an identical shot in front of the barn, his new bride says the same thing about hitting it through the barn door, but he says, Last time I tried that, I took double bogey, and the rest of the round was horrible.

Steve came home from playing golf, his wife asked him how it was.

He said horrible, Bob had a heart attack and died on the 3rd hole. So the rest of the day it was hit a shot, and drag Bob, hit a shot, drag Bob.

good ones HB