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DADDY48
09-19-2002, 11:18 AM
> Q. What's the Cuban national anthem?
> A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat
>
> Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
> A. A different bar
>
> Q. What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
> A. Sum Ting Wong
>
> Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
> A. A speech impediment
>
> Q. What does it mean when the Post Office's flag is flying at half-mast?
> A. They're hiring
>
> Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
> A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.
>
> >
> Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
> A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
> cage ... along with a recipe.
>
> Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
> fairytale?
> A. A northern fairytale begins, "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale
> begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ."
>
> Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
> A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the
> United States

passenger57am
09-19-2002, 11:21 AM
Funny shit!

bjtheman
09-19-2002, 11:23 AM
LMAO :)

DADDY48
09-19-2002, 11:26 AM
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q. What is the difference between "ooooooh" and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.

Q. What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
A. Well-hung.

Q. Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q. How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q. What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes

Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact with women?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A: The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than improving
their minds?
A. Because most men are stupid but few are blind.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch.

DADDY48
09-19-2002, 11:28 AM
A mother was working in the kitchen listing to her 5 year old son
>>playing
>>with his new electric train in the living room.
>>
>>She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of bitches
>>who
>>want off, get the hell off now... cause this is the last stop! And all
>>of
>>you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train
>>cause
>>we're going down the tracks"
>>
>>The horrified mother went in and told her son, " We don't use that kind
>>of
>>language in this house. Now, I want you to go to your room and you are
>>to
>>stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your
>>train...but I want you to use nice language."
>>
>>Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing
>>with
>>his
>>train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say..."All
>>passengers, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We
>>thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride
>>with
>>us again soon."
>>
>>She heard her little darling continue..." for those of you just
>>boarding,
>>remember there is no smoking in the train. We hope you will have a
>>pleasant
>>and relaxing journey with us today."
>>
>>As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are
>>pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the
>>kitchen..."

hardcorenoe
09-19-2002, 11:39 AM
funny shit bro, about the mexicans thats to much for me bro take it slow there bro.
nice any ways. LOL

sgrinavi
09-19-2002, 12:02 PM
Bhahahhahahahahahahahah

sgrinavi
09-19-2002, 12:02 PM
Originally posted by hardcorenoe
funny shit bro, about the mexicans thats to much for me bro take it slow there bro.
nice any ways. LOL

So you can laugh at everyone else, but not the Mexicans? WTF is up with that?

babysiren
09-19-2002, 12:06 PM
That's too funny....:p

sgrinavi
09-19-2002, 12:06 PM
Q: What do they call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle.

Harvey Balboner
09-19-2002, 12:35 PM
The Irish vacation!! That is awesome, another bar.

DADDY48
09-19-2002, 12:42 PM
PRESSER HAHAHAHA, GOOD EDITING JOB. THE TREE ONE YOU HAD UP BEFORE IS A FRIEND OF MINE'S FAVORITE. FUNNY, BUT SMART MOVE

hardcorenoe
09-19-2002, 12:46 PM
Originally posted by sgrinavi


So you can laugh at everyone else, but not the Mexicans? WTF is up with that?

slow down just alitte bit bro, i said i was funy so what, i was trying to said i am respected person whit all the ppl no matter what color or race they are bro they are all =.
so i feel alttle bit but is not a big deal bro is funny shit end of the story.:rolleyes: :confused:

1bigmus
09-19-2002, 01:13 PM
Always good to havea good laugh.

jshoty
09-19-2002, 02:30 PM
im printing these out hahahaha

Vaunz
09-19-2002, 03:14 PM
> Q. What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
> A. Sum Ting Wong

Or.....One Dum Fuk. Either one works.


That Mexican joke is funny.....they're ain't many I haven't heard.....but that's a good one.

Vaunz
09-19-2002, 03:15 PM
Here's a good one....

Q: What's the ONLY thing in the world better than winning the Special Olympics?

A: Not being retarded.

Press, if that tree joke is the one I'm thinking of....quality joke but good idea not posting it. Email it to me.....just in case it's one of the few I haven't heard.....

DADDY48
09-19-2002, 03:24 PM
A BEAR AND A RABBIT WERE TAKING A SHIT IN THE WOODS, THE BEAR ASKS THE RABBIT" DOES SHIT EVER STICK TO YOUR FUR?" THE RABBIT PROUDLY REPLIES NO, SO THE BEAR GRABS THE RABBIT AND WIPES HIS ASS WITH HIM.

violator
09-19-2002, 07:09 PM
lol. thats pretty funny.

BStrongBwell*
09-19-2002, 07:16 PM
great thread...LMFAO!

mbstrong
09-19-2002, 07:34 PM
LMAO

TAZ
09-19-2002, 08:45 PM
Those are definetly funny. Good thread, I needed a laugh.
-TAZ

shiko24
09-19-2002, 09:12 PM
thats some funny shiat

"the swallow"

superman1975
09-19-2002, 10:35 PM
LMAO!

winnie
09-20-2002, 01:37 AM
lol

Gear101*
09-20-2002, 07:12 AM
i liked the PMS one

GetnBigr
09-20-2002, 07:28 AM
good thread for a friday morning

MacGyver
09-20-2002, 12:40 PM
Very funny stuff. If anyone was offended by some of the jokes, keep in mind that he also made fun of Americans too in his thread. He didn't single out other nationalities.