Why Marriages Don't Work???

damn dude that's fucked up. your stuck between a rock and a hard place...

there really is no advice that anyone can give you because no matter what you will spend the rest of your life wondering what if...

just hope that your not the bastard sitting at the end of the bar in his 60s bitching about the one that got away...

hell at times I wish that I didn't have a girlfriend at all because I hate any baggage period. But at the same time you have to ask yourself how many people on this planet really give a shit about you?

Best to live alone, die alone if need be. So many people get into relationships for the wrong reasons, and sex is just one of very many more important wrong reasons.

Loneliness is the only way to gain true self-worth, of course I admit that having someone in your life such as a 'significant other' can be a great thing, it is not necessary to be happy, to be 'complete'. I learned the hard way, divorced twice by the time I was 23, other painful lessons thru relationships after that even.

One. There is only that, everything else must bow to it, to you and what you have to KNOW you are. The only way to find out what you are made of is to be alone for a significant amount of time. It kills me to hear of people being afraid to even sleep alone at night...that is when the greatest soul searching is available to us - when there is no one else to lean on, to talk to, to confide in but yourself. Once a person becomes comfortable with being alone and with what they are , only then can having someone else in your life even mean anything at all because otherwise it just seems like an escape to have another life or soul to cling to or to compare yourself to and I say Fuck That because it is just a weakness that hinders true potential.

I'm an asshole, I know, but that's how I feel and I feel very strongly about it.

Many reasons why they fail...most fail due to financial strain...but all of those things are a huge factor in every relationship and can cause marriages to fail. Marriage is tough though.

ok check this out, let me get your opinion on this one...
I'm great on giving advice but terrible on taking it :dead:

my girl wants us to get a place together and live happly ever after, the end
the problem is there is no work where she lives for what I do...

I told her that I could get a job down there for peanuts and not make any money and we would not be able to go out and do things like vacations and such...
literally all I would be able to do is work, lift weights, eat and sleep there would be no money for anything else

she says that she doesn't like us being apart...however, if we get a place together then the whole bullshit starts of what happened to the man that I loved, etc. :nope: we use to go out and blah blah blah

the catch 22 is that I'm on the road and it's just a matter of time before some stiff leg comes along and sticks the idea in her head that she would be better off seeing him than me...
I know because I use to be that stiff leg...

then he gets what he wants and moves on...to give credit where it's due I never bullshit a girl and tell her that we'll love each other just to get down her pants...I just tell her how it is, that this is sex

once again I don't want to get a place and foot all the bills just to find out that some fucker is sleeping in my bed w/ my girl while I'm paying for it :arcade:

she seems like a good girl, never gave me a reason not to trust her but damn I'm in the top 3 professions for divorce

Bulher? anyone? anyone?

i blame it all on the internet... damn internet ruins everything

that's the truth, have you been to fitness singles.com
the bastards

I agree that as American's we are just lazy and it is way to easy to take the easy way out via divorce. Look at Hollywood they are married to a different person every year or two. I am currently going through a divorce and I could blame him 100% if I wanted to see our divorce through rose colored glasses but it took the two of us to marry and it took the two of us to divorce. Although I will say he dated the entire time we were married so cheating is a definite sore spot with me.

Well, My brother just got married in October and he's already having second thoughts. I think alot of people today rush into marrage way to quik without getting to know one another properly. Its my opinion that a couple should live together at least a year to find out if you can live with this person for life. Also I think alot of people dont think about what marriage really stands for. You have to be in real love and be able to except that person for their faults and negatives that he or she may have. But I think the #1 cause of it not working is due to one another not being able to comunicate with each other properly. I come from a broken home and I have dealt with this first hand. And 9 times out of 10 its been because of there not being sufficiant comunicating skills and honesty. I think statisticly almost half of all marriages fail within the first 3 years because of those reasons, and or ect.

Tool,

It's funny cause my ex and I were together for a totally of 10 years, dated for first 2 years lived together for 3 yrs and then were married for 5 years and he didn't display the cheating tendencies until we married, however there were a lot of little things that I should have addressed with him and I let them go as he had the boys will be boys mentality. The only thing I am praying is that I took a lot of lessons from that marriage into my future and that I won't make the same mistakes again. The unfortunate thing is I now have huge self esteem and huge trust issues that hopefully with time will somewhat resolve itself.

On a lighter note, how are you feeling and how is the new job treating you?

I'm sorry to here that Cowgirl. Its a hard thing to be straight with each other sometimes and some people hide things about themselves that you may never find out about. When you get married you just have to prey and wish for the best. But, sometimes thats not good enough. Its really hard when you think you know someone and then a few years down the road things start to go haywire. For your sake sweetheart, I hope you can find true love and have a relationship that you can trust. Its really hard these days with how people have over looked the symbolic importance of marraige. But, theres allways people out there that can fool you into thinking you got the right one. Hopefully you can get past him and find someone that will love you the way he should. Hang in there Girl. Theres to many fish in the sea to let one person jade you so much that you lose trust in people. I hope you do find that person, but its allways hard to tell who's the right one and who's not. You just have to learn to trust your own instinct again.

Tool thank you so very much for you kind words. I am in a much better frame of mind then I was previously believe me. My frustration with him was wow if you truly weren't going to be serious about marriage why even go forward with it. I would have much preferred he said to me hey this relationship thing isn't for me before we said "I Do" I would have had a lot more respect for him then the pain of being cheated on and constantly wondering what I did wrong and what I could have done differently. Anyway again thanks for your kindness and I am working on getting mentally and physically stronger every day of the week.

You are very welcome Cowgirl. I've never been married personaly. But i've been in a couple of relationships that were heading towards marriage, and in one of those we actualy started talking about it. But,now that I look back on it I'm glad I didn't, because I'm sure that I wasn't ready to get married to either of the two. I was to blinded by love for them that I failed to see their faults. But after we had all the differences and quarls we could take, we split. And now, I'm still friends with her.Actualy were almost best friends. And everything is still pretty cool between us as well. Sometimes itS meant to be and sometimes its not. Well good luck with your new found freedom and keep that positive attitude.Remember, Pain is just weakness leaving the body. And this could have only made you stronger.

tool again thank you. looking forward to chatting with you anytime. it's kind of nice to realize there are people out there that know exactly what I am going through and have actually experienced similiar things. love the saying "pain is weakness leaving your body". very inspirational.

id rather save money for a highend escort service then get married, it would be cheaper in the long run and i get new who who when ever i want

irishpride said:

id rather save money for a highend escort service then get married, it would be cheaper in the long run and i get new who who when ever i want

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Its all about the variety! lol

I hope i never find out why Marriages don't work! Going on 15 years with my wife, and we've gotten separated on a couple different occasions, but ultimately always got back together, and for us it was always over jealousy, and arguing too much. I don't believe in divorce, I think too many people quit early and don't try hard enough to save their marriages! With that said though, if your partner cheats on you, then its time to go!

Presser said:

I hope i never find out why Marriages don't work! Going on 15 years with my wife, and we've gotten separated on a couple different occasions, but ultimately always got back together, and for us it was always over jealousy, and arguing too much. I don't believe in divorce, I think too many people quit early and don't try hard enough to save their marriages! With that said though, if your partner cheats on you, then its time to go!

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I feel like there is a lot of grey areas with cheating. Not advocating it of course but I always here about the whole "well we split up for 2 months than got back together so it didn't count" type of stories all the time at that point do you still let it go or do you just say hey we both got some freebies?

Why buy when you can rent?

current day culture has made sleeping around or cheating acceptable...most couples would benefit from exploring a swing lifestyle and it's various degrees...there's alot more communication in couples that are in the lifestyle and everything is out on the table and boundaries are set...my wife and i haven't done full swap but we do enjoy the flirting and being around other open minded couples and enjoy the parties and events...kinda like raves for adults lol

dont forget that 50% includes the people who have been divorced more than one tim,,,,,, lots of those around.