So my gf of almost 4 year whose seen me go through the transitions I've made in my life and the mass I've put on the past few yeaea recently told me this morning she doesn't want to just wake up one day next to a big guy who can't breathe now granted I'm not very large at about 5'11 and 230 but I have no desire to slow down. Anyone ever deal with this from their spouse and what did you do?
That's how I'm looking at it the other way I see it is that I've talked to a few women who stated that it really wasn't until a few years later they started to notice it and by then didn't care because they saw the changes every day so didn't really notice
echo419
New member
I've never had anyone complain about me getting bigger(I'm close to your size) but I've also never had a woman that wouldn't ditch me at the first opportunity of something "better" or an abusive ex that promised to change.
that being said all kinds of people in my life have told me not to get any bigger since I was 180lbs. still saying the same thing 40lbs later. so wadda ya gonna do? the way I figure it, good people in your life will stick around because you're a good person to/with them not for the way you look or what you have. besides it's not like you're a drunk that's letting booze ruin your life.
That's what I'm saying I'm not going out partying or being some lazy fat slob I work full time go to school and maintain my physique and shit man I just bought here a 2014 elantra yesterday
Powderguy
MuscleChemistry Registered Member
that's what they do..lol
That's how it seems I swear bro like two weeks everything is going perfect like birds tweeting cinderella shit and then she'll just go strangle the birds bro I swear lol
SilkQuads
New member
Well yes and no. As you guys know I love this lifestyle and support The Dude 1000% EXCEPT when he was going through his "bigger is better phase". Reason being is he was snoring so loud...gasping for air!! So many times I'd have to wake him up to get him to start breathing again. It was really scary! Fortunately we got that worked out and it's no longer an issue.
Minima, does she express real concern for your safety or is she just in a mood and trying to be controlling? Either way I hope it works out so you're both happy : )
On the same note (sorta) I HATE when people (not the hubby) tell me I'm getting too big!! Grrrrr!!!
Honestly everything's been smooth sailing till today basically lol I mean she was cool when I started with the anabolics and I made sure not to hide it figuring it'd be worse if I did. Sometimes she even wanted to watch/do it for me lol! She was there for me my first prep which I was a total twat. I think more than anything its her own insecurities she stopped going to the gym 6 months ago cuz she didn't feel like anything was changing no matter how much I told her it's not overnight. Now she's put on a good 15 lbs sexy as hell still to me but yea it just really got to me today. I appreciate a females input on this thank you silk!
SilkQuads
New member
As I was reading your response and realizing she's not having the same issues I was having, the next thing that popped into my head was her being a little insecure. Sounds like you nailed it. I think the more progress you make in the gym just reminds her of her failed attempt at weight loss. It's sad because I do believe you when you say she is "sexy as hell" but it's a cruel world inside the mind of an insecure girl. I've been there. She needs to work on communicating with you. Maybe sit down with her making sure you pick the right time and carefully (using gentle words) say something like "look, what's really going on? You were fine with my lifestyle for X years and overnight you've had a change of heart. Is there something else really bothering you?" Now depending on the girl (and this is where it gets tricky for you poor men) and if you two have a close open relationship, you could even ask "is it because you're not happy that you didn't get the results you were looking for in the gym?" I know it's a hard topic, but sometimes it works to just flat out ask. Hopefully she'll open up to you and you can begin your discussion. Don't forget to reassure her and sprinkle compliments in there. Also a tip, it's better to say "I think you're sexy as hell" rather thn "you're sexy as hell". Even use her name, I hear subconsciously people like that. I know this seems like a lot of work and that we're so high maintenance, but it is what it is. Obviously she's worth it or you wouldn't care enough to ask us how to help. Good luck
Thank you very much madame I think that's all it really boiled down to is here feeling bad "fat" but again I love how she looks and never leave her alone lol but yea i mean I got her a new car and really started cracking down on my studies and everything so I think she just felt like I'm moving ahead of her or something
Powderguy
MuscleChemistry Registered Member
Im not the relationship expert and maybe taking advice from me is like accepting a condom from Edward Scissorhands ..not a good idea..but I agree with Silk.
I went through the same situation and it all boiled down to personal insecurities. I took her to get her nails done and all that, because when a woman feels beautiful she is confident. After it all she said I look sexy and she doesn't feel sexy so she just gave up and knew woman were checking me out and it upset her..even though I came home to her everynight and only ever wanted to be with her.
Sit with your woman and try to come up with a solution together, even ask if she is interested in doing the same as you and don't forget to make her feel special, she has to know that she is special to you and aa priority not an option. It has to be discussed and communication is the key to any lasting relationship. Do remember this..not every woman finds big and bulky attractive..I was lean 6%bf at 200 at 6ft and women said I was sexy as hell, when I went to 225 I didn't get as many compliments..thats just how it goes.
Good luck buddy
I went through the same situation and it all boiled down to personal insecurities. I took her to get her nails done and all that, because when a woman feels beautiful she is confident. After it all she said I look sexy and she doesn't feel sexy so she just gave up and knew woman were checking me out and it upset her..even though I came home to her everynight and only ever wanted to be with her.
Sit with your woman and try to come up with a solution together, even ask if she is interested in doing the same as you and don't forget to make her feel special, she has to know that she is special to you and aa priority not an option. It has to be discussed and communication is the key to any lasting relationship. Do remember this..not every woman finds big and bulky attractive..I was lean 6%bf at 200 at 6ft and women said I was sexy as hell, when I went to 225 I didn't get as many compliments..thats just how it goes.
Good luck buddy
IronJulius
New member
women
SilkQuads
New member
Well, you're headed in the right direction. Good thing is you don't have to be an expert...just trying and being genuine is sometimes all it takes
This whole post was good advice for Minima Keep in mind you could do everything right and at the end of the day it just may not work out. After all it is HER insecurity. I'm not being cold, but she had to do the mental work too and find a way to start seeing herself the way you see her. Sad, but true. Hopefully she'll open up for ya.
echo419
New member
ya know things like this(in bold) bug me. it's like guys getting mad because some other dude is looking at his girl. would you prefer it if no one thought your spouse was attractive and didn't want to look at them? ugh, humans.
I'll pass lol.
Similar threads
