Get me off this binge Rollercoaster!

[EMW14]

I just remembered something: my sister-in-law went a support group for surviving spouses, I think it was, after her husband died a number of years ago. That could be your answer for a place to deal with your grief. I bet if you look, you can find such a group.

I realize it's awkward to bare your soul to a group of strangers. But my experience as an AA member is that it is extremely helpful to do so with people who share a common suffering. Check it out.

 

[first blood]

EMW14 you provided some pretty good insight about things...you too MM!

Your past experience is literally priceless. Going through something like you guys did and being able to share it with someone like me is already helping me. I can feel it.

I went to sleep with a better outlook and woke up feeling better able to deal with this.

Definitly glad I spoke up !

The one thing I am sure to do is get my workouts in and I feel like I'm on top of the world when I do. Then the end of the day I'm dismantling my hard work.
I AM grief stricken and I'm trying to force myself to move on faster than I should and bury it.

MM I suppose you have alot on your mind and plenty of anxiety and at the end of the day after dinner you are sitting in the house with your thoughts.... but you don't want to burden your family too much... so you find your way to those food treats to cool out .
We are both stuck in rut but there is a way out. This is good cause I'm done with this.
First thing is I'm gonna talk to my wife about this. She keep asking me if I'm feeling ok and I keep saying yes but she knows. So that will help . I don't need to be a tough guy for her anyway lol!



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[first blood]

I am going to eat Greek yogurt with agave... if I need a chocolate fix I will add protein powder. Also a few cups of green tea may help.
I also think some sugar free jello will come in handy... I just have to dig deeper when that urge comes in for PB.
I am a PB Crack head. My favorite meal is Spicy Thai chicken with peanut butter sauce. ! So it sounds silly but I have to go cry in the corner and detox from my PB ! LOL.
Goodbye my evil little buddy.

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[first blood]

It's not just the PB that is the issue either. It has to go on something crunchy . If all I have is celery that's fine but I use so much PB I can't taste the celery. Also putting it on pretzel rods or rice cakes. But I will eat 4 rice cakes with heaps of PB. Then a half hour later do a bar of dark chocolate and feel like I'm gonna burst. So figure 800 cals of PB and 280 cals from rice cakes and then the chocolate bar at about 400 I think. That's 1480! Then half a carton of almond milk ...so over 1500 cals ! That's after eating 5 or 6 times. So way to much surplus. That's like an extra 7000 to 10000 cals a week!
Holy sh/t!

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[Muscle mechanic]

It's not just the PB that is the issue either. It has to go on something crunchy . If all I have is celery that's fine but I use so much PB I can't taste the celery. Also putting it on pretzel rods or rice cakes. But I will eat 4 rice cakes with heaps of PB. Then a half hour later do a bar of dark chocolate and feel like I'm gonna burst. So figure 800 cals of PB and 280 cals from rice cakes and then the chocolate bar at about 400 I think. That's 1480! Then half a carton of almond milk ...so over 1500 cals ! That's after eating 5 or 6 times. So way to much surplus. That's like an extra 7000 to 10000 cals a week!
Holy sh/t!

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First blood, I eat Peanut Butter like crazy. I eat it table spoons at a time here and there almost daily. I use it for energy fuel and fats. I don't do many carbs especially when on clean diet but that diet I use pb. I do better with fats higher than carbs. I am starting my diet and it will contain lots of meats few carbs and plenty fats. This works for me and I can eat a such as I can tolerate. Lol

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[Muscle mechanic]

I used to smoke when I was younger cigarettes. Then I dipped. Now I use an electronic cigarette menthol flavor. Not a big vapor thing. Just that little vuse electronic cigarette. I am addicted to nicotine, caffeine, stimulates. I also take adderall it's a script. I have adhd and can't think with distractions. To the point without my meds I have to wear ear plugs to get paperwork done just if other people are talking quietly in office.

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[first blood]

Well PB is not the worse thing right! But it's gonna have to be stopped for now. I really need to be able to eat snacks like PB and dark chocolate in moderation. Not binge till I can't breath!
I had a formidable 6 pack last summer. At 43 I was looking fit.
Now I have the midsection of a bloated dad bod! Lol


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[Muscle mechanic]

I lose my six pack too. Right now abs are visible but just a faint appearance under layer.
It's the loose skin I don't like. As long as I am completely tight I am happy

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[thudgens96]

Well PB is not the worse thing right! But it's gonna have to be stopped for now. I really need to be able to eat snacks like PB and dark chocolate in moderation. Not binge till I can't breath!
I had a formidable 6 pack last summer. At 43 I was looking fit.
Now I have the midsection of a bloated dad bod! Lol


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It will come right off brother no sweat.

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[Muscle mechanic]

Well PB is not the worse thing right! But it's gonna have to be stopped for now. I really need to be able to eat snacks like PB and dark chocolate in moderation. Not binge till I can't breath!
I had a formidable 6 pack last summer. At 43 I was looking fit.
Now I have the midsection of a bloated dad bod! Lol


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But first blood I will say this because u said at 43 u look fit. I am 40 and I have and still do look better than 20 years Olds or whatever several times a year.
This is my motivator I don't wanna look good for 40, I wanna look as good as anyone of any age. Not the most built or better, but on a physical level and a totally fit one.
I wanna be able to do anything a 20 years old can and more

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[first blood]

That's exactly my frame of mind!
We both know we have to work at it... that's why I was so down. Cause I put in the work to sabotage later! I'm sick of that

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[Muscle mechanic]

At my job especially when I am lean. I always stay with muscle but when at that real good point when the 20 year old punks are playing their games their bullshit messing with me, I say ask your woman is she thinks I am hot. I say I don't want to bang them and wouldn't do that to u buddy. But just ask her, her opinion. They shut up and stop with the crap. Lol

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[Muscle mechanic]

That's exactly my frame of mind!
We both know we have to work at it... that's why I was so down. Cause I put in the work to sabotage later! I'm sick of that

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As long as u pushing your workouts and doing them hard u not gonna get fat though. U will keep your frame and muscles. We just gotta cut some % of fat

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[drtbear1967]

Gentlemen, after reading the thread one thing that you need to keep in mind is that you are dealing with underlying issues and not just over eating. Depression is real and it is nothing to be ashamed of at all. During the day, we can keep busy and keep our mind active on other things, but it is when our day starts to wind down and our mind begins to wonder the tendency to emotional eat is very common.

The one thing that I have found to help me, is reading. I try to keep my mind as active as possible in the evening. If I just veg out and watch TV, I will end up snacking. If I read articles on my iPad or even just pick up a book and read, I will have a less likely tendency to snack.

Just my 2 cents. Good luck brothers.

 

[Muscle mechanic]

Gentlemen, after reading the thread one thing that you need to keep in mind is that you are dealing with underlying issues and not just over eating. Depression is real and it is nothing to be ashamed of at all. During the day, we can keep busy and keep our mind active on other things, but it is when our day starts to wind down and our mind begins to wonder the tendency to emotional eat is very common.

The one thing that I have found to help me, is reading. I try to keep my mind as active as possible in the evening. If I just veg out and watch TV, I will end up snacking. If I read articles on my iPad or even just pick up a book and read, I will have a less likely tendency to snack.

Just my 2 cents. Good luck brothers.

I agree. In myself I am have let my job get me down and financial situations. But I still am hitting gym still under 13% body fat so indulging in sweets could be a craving but I also had came off a blast and that usually does it. For 8 weeks or so I have cravings for sweets.
I believe first blood is here still working out he spoke up to us his brothers so that is first step in letting things go that we keeping inside.
I believe he is mourning the loss of his mom, around holidays is tough to lose someone also it's hard. I haven't heard him speak of wife and not being married losing a parent can be tougher because of support by your side.
What u are going thru first blood is absolutely normal. U gotta be strong and push forward. It is a fact that when we lose someone our brain produces less dopamine and If we stay in the state of sadness for too long it can cause a chemical imbalance in our brain and cause clinical depression.
Let me tell yall this.
I take adderall for adhd
I take buprenorphine for my opiate tolerance and addiction being sober 10 years
I take lexapro for anxiety and depression
I try to make changes in behavior that will force the mind to follow.
We gotta push and get ourself where we need or want to be by getting up and heading there even if it's a foot in right direction everyday. It doesn't matter if or when we get there as long as we heading on path that's all that matters.
We have to admit our wrongs.
We have to accept the way things are that we cannot change
We have to live in a way that we can stand
We have to live by our morals out standard we set
And we have to grieve our loses before we can accept them it's a process
We also have to know it's ok to express our feelings and we have to know that not everyone in this world will use out pain against us.

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[first blood]

Guys once again you are delivering some great stuff to this convo and I really appreciate it.! This is gonna have some pivotal change on me I think.

I talked to my wife this morning cause she has been on eggshells with me and alot of what you guys said helped me get the words out to her... I was able to articulate what's in my head.
She was very happy and relieved cause she was feeling out of sorts with me.
So if nothing else changes at least I talked to her and I feel that we reconnected.
So that was a side effect too and look things are already on the upswing.
I feel more able to deal with things now.
Really appreciate it guys

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[Muscle mechanic]

Guys once again you are delivering some great stuff to this convo and I really appreciate it.! This is gonna have some pivotal change on me I think.

I talked to my wife this morning cause she has been on eggshells with me and alot of what you guys said helped me get the words out to her... I was able to articulate what's in my head.
She was very happy and relieved cause she was feeling out of sorts with me.
So if nothing else changes at least I talked to her and I feel that we reconnected.
So that was a side effect too and look things are already on the upswing.
I feel more able to deal with things now.
Really appreciate it guys

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Ok so your are married?
I am type of guy that I leave no body hanging. That's just how I am. I can't help everyone I world but those that I can I will never turn my back or pretend I don't see.
It helps me to help others. The saying goes with happiness or love for life is that we can only keep it if we also give it away!

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[drtbear1967]

That is what Family is for brother. The Brotherhood of Iron. I had t shirts made with that on it.

 

[Muscle mechanic]

First blood I have faith, I am a faith hope kind of person. Things will change for u. U lost your mom. That impacts up in a big way. U gotta talk about your feeling with your loved ones it's ok. And understand sometimes they may be bold and unsympathetic and say get over it and what not!
We all have stronger connections to certain people and we are only ones who understand this.
But we gotta know that our kids our wife, girlfriends or who ever is depending on us as men to be strong and lead the way. It's ok to feel hurt and sad but we can't let it keep us down. We gotta grieve and if talking about certain things makes us cry, then talk about them to who is in your life and cry let it comes out. That isn't a weakness it's being human and having a heart. U will get through this. We are here for u, but let your loved ones be too. Let them know what's going on keep communication about what u feel don't keep any of it inside.
And just so u know I believe that our loved ones we lose know we sorry for the things we never could set right before losing them. In that place they go they can see into our hearts and know. It's not them we gotta worry about anymore because they forgive us, it's us that gotta forgive ourselves. They way I do it is I make a commitment that I will start living different and being a better man!

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[thudgens96]

That is what Family is for brother. The Brotherhood of Iron. I had t shirts made with that on it.

How much for one of those shirts brother they are bad ass

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