- what should you do, if you were in my shoes -

Ok guys, I feel safe to ask you this question. You don't get these kinda of questons here, but I'm sure many of you went through the same thing I'm going through now. This regards me and my loving and beautiful girlfriend. I am ready to merry her, and do whatever I need to keep our relationship on the right track. I love her with all my heart, and she loves me to. But we get in childlish fights each and every day. Like we fight for nothing. But later on we can't be without eachother. I never in my life had anyone like her. Like I can tell her everything. She is the only one that understands me. I will and would give up everything for her. Past few days, have been odd for some reason. We had a sexual moment together, and somehow I got "pushy thats what she told me than later she told me she's not sure if im the right person its like i dont know.. its like she thinks im filled with filth... its ahrd to sescribe. Maybe she only thinks I'm with her for the sex, I would like to know how to make her believe that I love her from my heart.. and not about sex. She sometimes thinks that when I get mad that I'm gonna hit her, or kill her..which in my belief is sick. I asked her, If she can promise me that she can feel safe with me..without getting scared of me hitting her and she couldn't promise. So, I dont know how to deal with these kinds of problems. If shes gone, my life is gone..that will tell ya everything.. Please don't give me negative feedback..anything else is appreciable..

Bro,.. what you need to do is gain her complete trust, cause thats what it seams to me that you lack!

How you ask!
I whouldnt have the faintst ide since i dont know her personally, but maybe start to try and be the one who makes sure that all dose childish fight dont evolve, even if it means taking a big bite of the shitcake, (witch you say your willing to do)

In short, try harder, let her talk and you be the bigger (but softer/mellower) man!

Good luck my brother!

This is some serious difficult question you ask here. You trust someone sometimes for no particular reason and sometimes you don't trust someone, again with no particular reason. Trust is very hard to earn. It's mostly just there... or not. It is just the way she feels and it's not very easy to make her get rid of that feeling. I actually think you can 't do anything about it, only she herself can.

I think you need to talk about this thouroughly and she has to decide whether she loves enough to blindly trust you... or not. If she doesn't... well imho, love without trust is unpossible.

Hope it works out well for you. Don't want another broken heart on this forum! Keep us posted!!

You're like my family out here.. thanks to everyone that is helping me right now. I really think this board and this kind of people should live and be here forever...

Thanks guys..

from my experience this sound like it will end in divorce if you do marry her--look--i understand you love the girl--but she's afraid of you for some reason and you're not telling us why---there are way deeper issues you need to work on before you take the next step--trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship and with out it you'll eventually loose what you have with her--i was in a similar situation with my ex--i loved her, would've done anything for her, told her secrets, loved holding her, etc.... you know the same shit you do---but she didnt trust me and eventually i started to not trust her, we fouht about stupid shit, etc... and things spiralled downward after that, we eventually stayed together because we had been together for so long--and that was the wrong reason---i lost 6 yrs of my life--and really wouldnt say lost maybe abused---and the first 3 months looked back everyday thinking what i could have done to make it work because she was my life, i had so much invested in that relationship i was lost---and that wasnt healthy either. but the truth is if we would have really been meant to be together we wouldnt have fought about stupid shit, we would have trusted each other, we would have made the effort to make it work--i sat there for the first 6 wks miserable--but as i reflect i think it wasnt bad and i learned something from it---and the next serious relationship i have will be different--i hope this help--this is just my experience other may say marry her tomorrow--but i say wait and work on it first--maybe even leave her and work on yourself for a while

I couldn't agree more Super

I also would have to agree with Super...this is a touch situation, she seems like she is afraid of something; whether it's something to do with you or something in her life(maybe childhood) I'm not trying to insinuate anything, just trying to be of help...The first thing is you should try and find a very good time that you can sit down and have a talk with her, try to find out why she feels the way she does with you, and why you guys are arguing over small things....You don't want to lose what you have with her, but at the same time...you want to be able to have a great, trusting relationship with her...I hope everything works out for you and her....Keep us posted.

Ok guys. I can't thank you enough for your help that you are giving it to me right now. Thank you all. I had a talk with my loving gf today and I showed her this stuff that you wrote, she felt pretty good. So she told me if I can post her answer to all of you.. its like an update on us..so heres what she's got to say:

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Hey I'm Diggi's Girlfriend I read my Love's posting Question and your reply I just want to thank you all for being there and helping my love in bad situations and u guy help us and give us a big push to make all our love work i just love him too much and sometimes i get into a big panic and everything even tho we fight most of the time it is great to have someone to talk to but i just love him SO MUCH and we are gonna get merried and we made a hugeee promise to each other which is that we will be together for everr and without him my life is gone...THanks to u all..I LOVE YU DENNIS HUNNy
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This really touched me. Now you know the reason I love her so much...thanks to all of you who supporetd us..over this difficult period.. thanks again..

Hey...I'm glad everything is working out for both of you...and that's what we're here for, to be as much help as we can be..You're very welcome...Good luck to both of you, I wish you both well and much happiness..

babysiren said:

Hey...I'm glad everything is working out for both of you...and that's what we're here for, to be as much help as we can be..You're very welcome...Good luck to both of you, I wish you both well and much happiness..

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Thanks alot bro. To tell you the truth, all of you helped me alot here. All you did is typed a few words that changed everything . Sometimes you just need people to look out for you, and I'm glad I have you guys. Me, and my girlfriend would like to thank you all for giving us all the advices we needed..really thank you. I wish all of you could come to our wedding some day...

Well I know babysiren is from Massachusetts, thats where I come from my brother. I'm from Boston, what part in MA are you in..hopefully I can call ya to my wedding when it happens

Happy for the both of Yuo!

Good luck bro just remember that it's a long bumpy road but only you and her can make it work. btw Babysiren is a broette not a bro and maybe someday she'll post some pics to prove it

Glad to hear that bro. I wish you and your woman the best of luck.

Again, -- from the bottom of mine and hers heart, we would like to say thank you, to all of you that helped us going through this tough time. It really helped us alot. And by the way, I had no clue that babysiren was a female.. hehe.. . If so, I can call her Sis, instead of bro...

mailboxkillR said:

Good luck bro just remember that it's a long bumpy road but only you and her can make it work. btw Babysiren is a broette not a bro and maybe someday she'll post some pics to prove it

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Thanks for clearing that for me....I will be posting up some pics of me soon, in a couple of days...I live about 30 minutes from Boston...

no problem baby your still a broette in my eyes one of the few coolest females I know. Looking forward to seeing the pics I'll have another round in a few weeks.