my share of relational problems

Well I’d thought I’d post my share of relational problems…

Strange situation really and don’t know what to do or how to feel. I broke up with a girl after a couple of months at the beginning of this year. Main reason was she was under a lot stress and always took it out on me. She always bit of my nose and yelled at me for no good reason at all. So in the end it got to much for me and I broke up with her.

At the beginning of last week, she al of a sudden came online at MSN Messenger after more than half a year. She started apologising for the way she behaved back then and said she was truly sorry and that she realised now that she ruined everything herself.

She went on for a few evenings in a row and out of curiosity, I eventually agreed to go for a cup of coffee with her. She was really nice and relaxed and friendly. She said she hadn’t dated since we had split up and that she still wore the ring I bought her. She even still had my picture hanging up the wall.

She really seemed changed in at lot of ways and being the sucker for affection that I am, I kissed her when I dropped her of at home. So I guess that puts us back together. But when I went to bed all of a sudden all the bad things that had happened between us started to come back and I felt very afraid. Which I guess is what I am: afraid that all is not what it seems and that she will soon be again how she was back then. I really feel uncomfortable although I have spent another evening with her on Monday and I really felt good with her. But when I’m home I always start thinking and feel uneasy.

I don’t know what to do. Deep inside she is a really nice and good person and she obviously still loves me a lot so I don’t want to hurt her. I would really hate it to brake up with her in a few weeks, but if I don’t give it some time, how will I know she really changed?

Sounds like you each have strong feelings for each other. Unless you give it a chance, you won't know if she has changed. Keep in mind that when things get stressful she may exibit some of the behavior that put you off before. That's human nature. We all have faults. What makes a difference (to me anyway) is if a person realises they have done something to hurt you and makes an honest effort to not do that. It is a tough call sometimes, but forgiveness is one thing we all need from time to time. No doubt it takes time to change, and doesn't happen overnight, but if an honest effort and concerne are there, that says a lot. Give yourself time to think about it, and be careful with your heart, but don't throw away a truely good relationship too soon because she isn't perfect if there are mutual feelings and a desire on both of your part to be good to each other.
Good luck.

I agree completely with Badgermoon...you don't want to throw the chances you have with someone who means a whole lot to you, and who may be the perfect person for you..I think maybe you should try and talk to her about how you're feeling now. Maybe let her know that things that happened in the past still do bother you, and will for a little while, but if you truly feel like she is the one for you, and you love her, she sounds like she is truly sorry for what she has done..but I would say talk to her about it, and let her know how you're feeling. If you want this relationship to work, you should probably tell her how you feel when you get home from being out with her..I really wish you the best of luck cyber...

I pretty much agree with what badger & baby has said already.

The key words are that 'she was under alot of stress at the time' and 'deep inside she is really nice and a good person'.
Your gut is telling you to be cautious~
Go with your intuition & keep your guard up a tad til you see how things go..

I think if you really care about her, try to keep an open & just enjoy..
If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out..
At least you gave it another shot, you'll be able to move on with your life & you won't be wondering about it ten years down the road

cyberstefke, bro I'm in the same boat as you are in, right now.
Except, me and my gf keep breaking up every day (LMAO) and then we can't be without eachother. I think, in a relationship when you fight or if you fight it means a good thing... at least for me. If you really love her, with all your heart and you're willing to do everything for her, then she's yours. Some girls love getting attention and some don't. The more you're desperate, the more you're going to drive her disinterested in you. I just found that out not awhile ago.... keep us posted I'm really interested..!

I had similar problems back in high school Diggi. lol. I'm a much smarter man now. You have to realize that you are equally at fault for the things that continue to happen in your relationship. I realized that too late. I ended up breaking up with my girl of 3 years and dating others. My chance may be gone forever, but that's the risk I chose. It kind of makes me sad sometimes, because that girl truly was nice. She always knew how I felt. She could read my mind. I really think that it was my insecurities causing those fights. You gotta admit to your faults sometimes or you're gonna be lonely, stubborn man.

Some little annoyances are natural. As long as you know that there is love and respect there that is all that matters. If she doesn't realize these same things then she is not ready for a relationship.

You have to really figure out yourself. Perhaps take some time and do that. Back off this girl a bit. Be even tempered and cool when something bothers. Communicate well without fighting/yelling. That's all the advice I can give.

any news.. cyberstefke ??

Well some good points of advise....but,what happens the next time life gets a bit stressful,will you be her emotional punching bag once again? Strong personality traits in people rarely change,go slow if you go at all IMO.

DecaDent* said:

Well some good points of advise....but,what happens the next time life gets a bit stressful,will you be her emotional punching bag once again?

Click to expand...

Well I felt the same way as you and I decided not to go through with it cuz indeed everytime she's gonna be under stress I'll again be the punching bag. I think people evolve but I don't think they really change.

BUT... on the bright side, the same eveing I decided not to go further with her, a girl whom I was together with a couple a weeks ago ad who dumped me, was truly sorry and I made up with her. Which is good because I felt really good with her and I still do. So I guess I'm okay!!

Sincere tnx to everyone for your input and support!!

how the h*ll did I get here again? tought this forum was gone? spooky... feel like I'm in the twilight zone!