PDA

View Full Version : Do parents ALWAYS think a guy wants to have sex with their daughter?!



92StangMan
04-18-2003, 09:06 PM
There's this chick that moved in last August and we didn't really speak much but I could tell she was pretty hot from seeing her outside on an occasion or two. My other neighbor found out her screen name so I started talking to her. When I first IM'd her, I thought she was at least 17 and with me being 19, figured I'd go for it but she told me she was 14 so I backed off!

Anyway, we still kept in touch a little bit till one night she was talking about how she had been crying and wanted to end her life do to past expierences in her life.

I didn't see anything "weird" or "awqward" about talking to a 14-year-old and helping her out when she's wanting to take her life. Since that night, I told her that if she ever needed me, to give me a call or come knock on my window and she said vice versa.

Before all of this, I had talked to her step-dad on an occasion or two and he was pretty cool and the same with the mom. Now, I've talked quite a bit to the step-dad and Laurie (the 14-year-old) but she's telling me that her step-dad and mom are getting mad at her talking to me since I'm "too old."

First off, I just turned 20 and she's 14!! I do NOT want to fuck her! Can they not realize this?! They know that she is on depression pills due to her past mishaps but they do not know that she's (not as much now as she used to be) suicidal.

What pisses me off is, they fuckin' view me like a child molester! And for what? Talking her out of killing herself and being there for her? Now she's saying that they don't want me to talk to her online.

I don't know what to do. I thought about going over there and saying, "Hey, your daughter thought about killing herself and I'm trying to help her out! I don't want to fuck her so leave me the hell alone."

Damn, some people piss me off!

winnie
04-18-2003, 09:29 PM
Yeah, family can be real overprotecting.

scorpio
04-18-2003, 09:37 PM
Alright, I can see your point and I highly commend you and respect you for helping her. However I would have to defend the father on this too, a 20 year old man and a 14 year old girl is a little odd. Her parents need to be told of her problem. Sad but true, perhaps talk her into going to a school counselor. Take it from an old guy, dude your 20?

WeirdAl
04-18-2003, 09:41 PM
Yeah, I know you're trying to help, but put yourself in their position, and you can probably understand where they're coming from.

If she's talking suicide, I wouldn't think that you can handle it on your own, I'd get her parents or a professional involved. That's a lot for you to deal with. You can't be there 24/7, and even if you can, she really needs someone with experience with suicide to help her.

92StangMan
04-18-2003, 09:46 PM
This is the thing, she made me promise her that I wouldn't tell anybody about the whole situation and she seems to be doing a lot better. If she was still in the same stages, I would mention it to her step-dad and let them take her to a counsilor.

Should I be straight up with the step-dad and let him know that I was only trying to help her and NOTHING else? I mean, Hell, I've talked to him quite a bit and I figured that he would see it as we just talked to see what was up.

Thanks for the replies since it's helping. If she would have never mentioned about her depression, I probably would have stopped talking to her after our first conversation but I was just trying to help...

scorpio
04-18-2003, 09:48 PM
It's a tough call bro, I would tell them yes. I would rather she be pissed at me, rather than mask her emotions and hurt herself.

bigshug
04-18-2003, 09:50 PM
No matter what you promised, her talking suicide is a huge cry for help....you'll be a better friend if you tell her parents so they can arrange professional counseling...better that than her hurting herself when YOU could've helped prevent it by speaking up....just my .02

WeirdAl
04-18-2003, 09:56 PM
I agree. I'd tell someone. She may understand, maybe later. She may not. Either way, she'll get help, and still be alive!

Choke03
04-19-2003, 02:13 PM
No doubt you have to go to her parents bro. Your gunna feel 100% worse if she hurts herself than you will if you break that promise.

Sachet
04-19-2003, 04:06 PM
Originally posted by 92StangMan
This is the thing, she made me promise her that I wouldn't tell anybody about the whole situation and she seems to be doing a lot better. If she was still in the same stages, I would mention it to her step-dad and let them take her to a counsilor.

Should I be straight up with the step-dad and let him know that I was only trying to help her and NOTHING else? I mean, Hell, I've talked to him quite a bit and I figured that he would see it as we just talked to see what was up.

Thanks for the replies since it's helping. If she would have never mentioned about her depression, I probably would have stopped talking to her after our first conversation but I was just trying to help...


Oh definately tell her step dad even though you promised her you wouldn't tell anybody about the whole situation.
She's a fourteen year old girl & could do just about anything at the drop of a pin..
You're in a different place mentally soOo you're just assuming that she's doing better. She needs counseling & perhaps just by you talking with her step dad, she'll get what she needs.
So what if you lose her as a 'friend'..
You'll be a better person for stepping in & she'll realize it down the road.

When you're talking to her step dad, I wouldn't make it seem as though you're attempting to justify your conversations with her~
And assure him that you will block her from your IM & do it.

winnie
04-19-2003, 04:42 PM
This might be a little of the handle, but I've seen some of the wall shit in my life. You put yourself in a real wierd situation here. Here is this girl that is motionally unstable. She might like you, she might not. She might be telling you this to get "your" attention in a curtain way, or she might not. Say if she is, and you go and tell her step dad, how she was contiplating suicide, then when he goes and talks to her she freaks out and screams how you tried to take advatange of her, and what not. I've seen this shit before bro...not good! Watch yourself, there are a lot of crazy's in this world...even if half of them on this board...LOL

:confused:

winnie
04-19-2003, 04:43 PM
Originally posted by Sachet

And assure him that you will block her from your IM & do it.

This would be step #1 if I were in your shoes bro.

Ecfatcat
04-19-2003, 07:28 PM
you started out interested so DAD WASN'T too far off .....be careful young people are very easly influenced.



I would level with the dad .

sugaa
04-19-2003, 10:08 PM
Yah winnie made some good points. Do u remember if u said nething in your conversations with her about how she's hot or if there's any way she might have prroof of things u said to her online?? Becuase she could turn on u in a snap if she thinks youre looking at her like she a little baby now instead of this hot 17 year old chick u thought she was.

At the same time I think you have to tell her parents about her suicidal thoughts becuase if she ever does do something to herself, you see m like the type that woul d end up blaming yorself for not stepping up and blowing it open.

Maybe u could talk to her step-dad with out her knowing at all and make him promise not to say nething to her by telling him that it woul d be better so that sh e knows she has someone to confide in.

I would stop talking to her on IM by chaning your screen name and if she asks why u havent been online(if she see u outside) u could just say youve been studying or watching playoffs on TV. SHe's 14 so shell buy nething u tell her if youre convincing enough.

92StangMan
04-20-2003, 02:04 AM
Her step-dad comes back in town tomorrow and I'm off work at 5. If I see him out, I'll get him to shoot some ball with me and I'll bring everything up. I just hope that he doesn't think that I know that they don't want me to talk a lot to his step-daughter a lot and I want to change everything around to where it looks bad on her, not me.

I am in a very fucked up position and I'm just now realizing it but I will say a prayer to God and he will guide me in the right direction.

Thank you bros (and ladies ;)) for helping me out! :)

BLEED GREEN
04-21-2003, 08:15 AM
I have a 2 year old and 6 year old daughter and my worst nightmare is that someone who reminds me of my younger self shows up at the door as their date!

92StangMan
04-21-2003, 10:02 PM
Originally posted by BLEED GREEN
I have a 2 year old and 6 year old daughter and my worst nightmare is that someone who reminds me of my younger self shows up at the door as their date!

This is why I do NOT want to have daughters! :D

Zeca
04-22-2003, 05:26 AM
:rolleyes: wait until you get one........ :D

auriflex
04-22-2003, 06:07 PM
As a father of an 11yr old, I totally understand the parents reaction to you a 20yr old befriending their daughter. I don't care how noble your actions and thoughts are - you are a man, and the daughter is not yet a woman. While she might have womanly physical characteristics at her age, mentally and emotionally she is a child.

I would discontinue further contact with her until she is older. At least voting age.