superman1975
New member
Dear Coco,
I'm a 31-year old guy who's been dating a 29-year old woman for eight months. She keeps bringing up the subject of marriage. I am in love with her, but getting married is a big decision, and I'm not sure I'm ready to make it yet. Recently she gave me an ultimatum — either I marry her or we break up. I don't understand why she is in such a rush since we haven't actually been together that long. What should I do?
— Gun-shy in Gillespie
Dear Gun-shy,
Marriage is not a hostage situation. If you go into it under an ultimatum, you'll always feel like a prisoner. You want to be a mate, not an inmate.
My guess is that your girlfriend has temporarily lost her mind. Facing down the big "three-oh," she thinks if she doesn't get a ring on her finger soon she will turn into stale cake. You need to try to coax her gently into the 21st century. Thirty year old women today are what 20-year old women were in the last century — fun-loving femme fatales, but now with careers and credit cards.
If your friend were older, or if you two had been dating longer, I'd be more sympathetic. Men are generally content to take relationships at a glacial pace. If things are going smoothly, they think, "Why complicate the picture with laundry and a mortgage?" Meanwhile, women contend with considerable social pressure to wed, to say nothing of our biological clocks. After all, men have the option of siring children well past middle age, while women know that the early-childcare trenches are best suited to the young and sprightly.
Your girlfriend wants to know your feelings toward her. So put them to the test with a quick game of word association. As you read the following list, write down the first word that comes to mind:
Home
Wife
Marriage
Child
Study your word string carefully. If it reads, "Maker, husband, license and love," you might consider popping the question. Does it read, "Wrecker, beater, counseling, and support?" Then stop and put your hands in the air. Now, back out of the room before anybody gets hurt.
If you’ve got love on your mind, turn to International Love Guru Coco Helado for straight-from-the-hip advice. With advanced degrees from the University of Life and the School of Hard Knocks, Coco dispenses her counsel to tortured hearts and troubled souls. Ready for answers? Email your questions to [email protected].
OK guys what is the real reason women rush a guy into marriage???? i believe that is something drilled into their minds when they are younger-you know they play house, stage mock weddings, hell look at HS proms its like a wedding! any comments???
I'm a 31-year old guy who's been dating a 29-year old woman for eight months. She keeps bringing up the subject of marriage. I am in love with her, but getting married is a big decision, and I'm not sure I'm ready to make it yet. Recently she gave me an ultimatum — either I marry her or we break up. I don't understand why she is in such a rush since we haven't actually been together that long. What should I do?
— Gun-shy in Gillespie
Dear Gun-shy,
Marriage is not a hostage situation. If you go into it under an ultimatum, you'll always feel like a prisoner. You want to be a mate, not an inmate.
My guess is that your girlfriend has temporarily lost her mind. Facing down the big "three-oh," she thinks if she doesn't get a ring on her finger soon she will turn into stale cake. You need to try to coax her gently into the 21st century. Thirty year old women today are what 20-year old women were in the last century — fun-loving femme fatales, but now with careers and credit cards.
If your friend were older, or if you two had been dating longer, I'd be more sympathetic. Men are generally content to take relationships at a glacial pace. If things are going smoothly, they think, "Why complicate the picture with laundry and a mortgage?" Meanwhile, women contend with considerable social pressure to wed, to say nothing of our biological clocks. After all, men have the option of siring children well past middle age, while women know that the early-childcare trenches are best suited to the young and sprightly.
Your girlfriend wants to know your feelings toward her. So put them to the test with a quick game of word association. As you read the following list, write down the first word that comes to mind:
Home
Wife
Marriage
Child
Study your word string carefully. If it reads, "Maker, husband, license and love," you might consider popping the question. Does it read, "Wrecker, beater, counseling, and support?" Then stop and put your hands in the air. Now, back out of the room before anybody gets hurt.
If you’ve got love on your mind, turn to International Love Guru Coco Helado for straight-from-the-hip advice. With advanced degrees from the University of Life and the School of Hard Knocks, Coco dispenses her counsel to tortured hearts and troubled souls. Ready for answers? Email your questions to [email protected].
OK guys what is the real reason women rush a guy into marriage???? i believe that is something drilled into their minds when they are younger-you know they play house, stage mock weddings, hell look at HS proms its like a wedding! any comments???
