Backwards is unacceptable

I have a goal, and I'm taking some advise from WeirdAl, and going public with it right here and now.

two weeks ago, I finished my cycle. When I was done, I was up to 250 or so. My last pics were shot at about 240. Some of the weight of course was water and fat. I began trying to lose the fat and keep my gains. I need to get the diet better still, but my workouts have not lost any intensity. My strength is a little less in some areas and the same in other exercises. In fact, I am driving myself as hard as I can. I plan on posting pics in 2 weeks, which will be 2 months from the last ones (if I can find the socks I was wearing). I am currently at 242 as of today. I think I look leaner than I did at 240, even before that. I was 241 yesterday, so I hope that the weight has stableized, and I can look ok as the fat comes off. I lost 9 lbs in just over a week (some water for sure) and I think I have time to slow that down and still make my goal.
Heres the deal.

In 5 weeks, I am going to go to a reunion where my ex wife and a gf that I haven't seen since I was 15 and she dumped my ass will be also. I haven't seen the ex for 1 1/2 years since our seperation and divorce last June. Last time she saw me I had wasted to 215 from the stress and depression. I was a physical and emotional train wreck. Now I don't expect either of them to fall all over me. I don't think the muscle will do anything for the ex anyway. It would be nice to have them see the new me and regret thinking that I wasn't worth their time, but I'll be happy if I can just feel good about the way I look and not hate to take off my shirt to go for a swim at the hotel where this is all taking place. having grown up a SKINNY mo-fo, and some other shit, I have been struggling with a bad case of low self esteem all along, but that has started to melt away. I have a long way to go to recovery, but I'm working on it. It would just be nice to have this chance to not hate the way I look when I go there.
I am determined to keep my gains, and even improove, as well as get my bf to a place where I'll look good. I want to feel good and look good, and let them see what they threw away. This means that I am going to have to beat the odds that a 51 year old can't get fit, and stay that way, and improove.
This might all be a shallow way to think, and if it's petty, then I'll wear it. But it means something to me, and I am by-god determined to do this. I will, under no fucking circumstances, go quietly into the night.

Ok, I'm done for now. I've said it, and I intend to back it up. If I don't, I want you guys to beat the shit out of me.

Bro, there is always time to improve, and don't worry we won't beat the shit out of you...LOL

Have fun at that reunion!!!

bro, theres absolyutely nothing wrong with wanting to look good. it doesn't make you a shallow person, it only means that you appreciate the finer things in life. real proud of you BTW

Thanks guys, and Poopoo, that means a lot... thanks bro.

It is not shallow to try and better yourself-You are trying to improve your body and your mind-Nothing but good can come from that. My Ex fucked me up pretty good too-I also didn't think she would care about the new muscle the next time I saw her but her Eyes betrayed her-I definitley saw envy in them. It is there loss they will never get to have sex with you again. You Are BADGERMOON- 242lbs of Twisted Steel and Sex Appeal.



BTW-I will never go to Wisconsin again. Last Time I was there I was in a town called Beaver Dam. Got jumped by 5 guys-They kicked me in the face and broke my nose.

Let me apologise for the way you were treated in Beaver Dam. It's just a small no-count hick town. Not everybody here are assholes, I guess you find them every where you go.

Badger - that's great, and I know you can do it! The most important thing is that you feel good about what you've accomplished - that will radiate some much onto everyone around you, that you'll look even better!

Badgermoon said:

Let me apologise for the way you were treated in Beaver Dam. It's just a small no-count hick town. Not everybody here are assholes, I guess you find them every where you go.

Click to expand...

LOL no apoligies needed-They were just mad cause I was taking home the ladies and they were going home alone.

Hey Badge you have a goal set and I know you'll meet it. If you look good, you'll feel good. Knock em dead bro, make em green with envy.

And for some extra motivation, you don't meet your goal, I'll kick your ass for ya!

Thanks Scorp, knew I could count on you.
Al was right, making your goals known adds a lot to the determination. Thanks Bro. The last thing I'd want is to fail in the eyes of my brothers on here.
Now I have to get my packing list going. Lets see... proviron, ciallis, what else. maybe a change of clothes.

Shallow?? If wanting to look great is shallow, then all of us on this board are some no depth having, superficial motherfuckers!!
Seriously, I'd strut my stuff in front of them and act like they were absolutely the LAST thing on my mind. Let 'em know that your life has grown and you've moved on way past them and their petty ways and concerns. My LAST goal would be to impress them...you'll do that with your newfound confidence and attitude, bro - you won't even have to try. Keep your chin up, it's my contention that confidence gets women's eye more often than not.....not arrogance, mind you, no woman wants that. But if these girls see you at age fifty-something, looking great, feeling great, and acting like you're totally on top of your game in all aspects then you've gotten your point across and they'll sure as hell regret giving up a freakin' sexual Tyrannosaurus like yourself...lol

Badger-geat to see you posting your intentions and goals-You will be the man at the reunion...August???
bigshug hit it on the head!!!!

The reunion is in July...18th and 19th. I have about 4 1/2 weeks to be ready. I'm trying to get the bf down. I was only 238 1/2 today. A little scary to be dropping weight that fast. Just hope it isn't muscle I'm losing. The workouts are ok, giving it all I can. Guess that's all I can do.

badger your good to go bro. Your gonna walk in there larger than life. They'll be green with envy.

man dont sweet the x, just walk in there like your king shit and you know it. You look great for being a young man

I'm feeling better about all this all the time, and the encouragement I've gotten here has had a whole lot to do with it. I feel like I am slowly getting myself back again.
When my ex and I were talking to a councellor (well, she was just going through the motions but no matter) he told me one time when I was talking to him alone, that during the time of our marriage that I was going through post traumatic stress syndrome. It stemmed from an accident at work that killed 3 guys, and I had a misguided feeling that I was partly responsible, just because of the work I had been performing on the structure. from talking to other people, I know I did nothing wrong now, but in my state of mind, I partially blamed myself. During all that, I made a move to a place where there was very little work for me, and took a 30% pay cut, just to be with her. For my efforts, I was told how boring and pathetic a person I was. There was plenty of mean shit she laid on me from time to time too. To top it all off, I was going through low natural test levels, and believe me, it fucks your head up bad. I didn't know what was wrong, but asked her to give me time to get help and figure out what made me feel so screwed up. She said she didn't have time in her life to take on a project like that. Imagine your wife telling you that, when you know there is something physically wrong with you, on top of the PTSS thing. I had nobody but her to talk to about it, as hard as it was to do, but she would get pissed off if I even mentioned Miller Park (the stadium where the accident happened). So, with the things she said and did that theres no need to go into here, I am beginning to realise that its probably just as well we're not together. There was a lot of good things too, but all in all, the whole mix was more than was good for me.
I am so much better now than I was before, and to be honest, AAS has had a lot to do with it. Physically, I look and feel so much better. I can't even tell you how much it has helped me emotionally. I felt like I was slowly dieing inside, thats the only way I can describe it. The woman I was with recently that FBC met, was very good to me, and made a big difference, but she has already come and gone from my life. The people on this board have given me good advise and a lot of knowledge I wouldn't have gotten elsewhere, and you guys are still here, still have my back. For that I owe you a lot, and will always be glad for my friends at MC. I hope you know what you have all done for me. Thanks Bro's!

Goals are essential for improvement. You will reach yours bro, I have no doubts !!!!
Bro you are my friend. I'll alway's be here for you, just ask.

there ain't no 50 yrs old mofo bigger and tougher than BADGERMOON!!! He is one huge mofo and the woman wil go wild to try and tame that stallion. Next time you go into a store badger try and find someone bigger than you and if you do look and see how old he is. Your showing up the young wet nosed pups everywhere.