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mailboxkillR
08-19-2003, 09:08 PM
You know your Italian when..........

Why do Italians hate Jehovah's Witnesses?
> Italians hate all witnesses.
>
> Do you know why most men from Italy are named Tony?
> On the boat over to America they put a sticker on them
> that said TO NY.
>
> You know you're Italian when . . . . You can bench
> press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when
> your mother yells at you.
>
> You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you
> can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2
> bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.
>
> Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant,
> travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.
>
> You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or
> street. All five of those cousins are named after your
> grandfather or grandmother.
>
> You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet
> hall owners.
>
> You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.
>
> If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9", it is
> presumed his Mother had an affair.
>
> There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.
>
> You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.
>
> And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when:
> Your grandfather had a fig tree.
> You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.
> Christmas Eve . . . only fish.
> Your mom's meatballs are the best.
> You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe
> thrown at you.
> Plastic on the furniture is normal.
> You know how to pronounce "manicotti" and
> "mozzarella."
> You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy."
>
> You've called someone a "mamaluke."
> And you understand "bada bing"

pudgy
08-19-2003, 09:13 PM
hehe (i think there are few italians here but it was funny) shhhh

Saks
08-19-2003, 09:45 PM
Got any for us Germans?

macattack
08-19-2003, 10:28 PM
LOL ima Italian those were great, hope you like wearing cement shoes my friend :)

Vini
(no i aint yo cousin eeder)

bigshug
08-20-2003, 12:47 AM
Originally posted by macattack
LOL ima Italian those were great, hope you like wearing cement shoes my friend :)

Vini
(no i aint yo cousin eeder)

Sleepin' wit da fishes, baby......(laughing my ass off)

BLEED GREEN
08-20-2003, 10:20 AM
Originally posted by Saks
Got any for us Germans? :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

right on bro!

redox
07-19-2004, 03:39 PM
Hey bro I am italian,i live in italy but half of my family is italoamerican,my father grow up in the bronx,but now all our relatives are old and spending theyr money in florida,i show your tread to my father,and he said am i supposed to laugh?
i told him well it's funny and he said it's not funny it's true, and he is right all what you wrote is true,try to come to italy on christmas eve and ask for meat in a restaurant they'l probably stick a pole up your arse and use your body as a christmas tree
infact:
my grandfather in the countriside had a fig tree and a cherry tree
my mom used to bet my up with wooden spoons
my father with his belt
i am 27 lived by miself since i was 19 and my mom calls me 3-4 times a day
for my firsy comunion i got:1 gold watch 3 gold braclets,1 big gold chain and 1300 dollars in cash(i was 11 years old)
i am 6 feet tall and i am the tallest in all my family
my name is Gianmarco,gian stands for giovanni like my grandfather and marco like my unkle
thanks god we dont have any plastic on our couch but i knowh many of my friends that do
last thingh that i noticed in italy the biggest you get the more people brake your balls especially those with girlfriends,maybe you are outside of a bar minding your own businisse,and out of nothing somebody steps in front of you and goes:you are staring at my girlfriend,ec..ecc..typical..there is no saturday whitout a fight
sometimes i would like to live in groenland by miself in a nice wooden house:rolleyes:

PJT
07-19-2004, 04:23 PM
I hear ya bro. 100% Italian here and I have to admit, most of those are true!

redox
07-19-2004, 05:14 PM
Man i tell you a story,i was on a ketodiet and i made the mistake to stick the diet outside of the fridge,my grandmother once said:"is that you diet,i told her yes,you dont need a diet,you are fine,you father needs a diet staring at my father belly,i told her well is a diet for the gym to get ripped and big.she stared at me and said:there is a big mistake in your diet!!you are going to die if you don't eat pasta and bread,many people died during the war because of the f***ng germans and the fu***ing muslims.(my grandmather hates the germans to the point that when in a shop they gave her as a change 2 german euros that have an eagle on the back she spit on them and trew them in the face of the guy working at the supermarket yelling at him you nazist this was last year)aniway my mother hates germans because they killed my grandfather,and all muslims because she comes from a small village in the south of italy and the village is on some hills and the british soldiers during the war used muslim troops used to the atlas mountains to free the village,and the muslims freed the village but also raped all the womans aged 12-70.
well i was doing my ketodiet and my father told me that he had a friend from egypt and he invited him for lunch and my grandmother minced a couple of pounds of pork and spiked all the dishes with pork.
so i had a doubt about my keto diet i spyed my grandmother and she indeed spiked my proteinpowder with sugar and god knows what else
she is ded now she was a strong woman,liked to drink a lot and cursed like a saylorman :D

Lord Odin
08-18-2004, 12:03 PM
You Italians...ha!Ha! Gotta love you guys...