Lil johny jokes

for those who hate their mom:
one day little jonny was playing with his toy train and it was goin round and round when he stoped it he said, "all u sons a bitches gettin on get on and all u sons a bitches gettin off get off." hes mother comes in and say, " what did u say young man. go to your room and think about what u said. so after 4 hours his mother comes and say come eat supper and then u can play with your train again. so after supper little jonny goes back to his train and says, " all u sons a bitches gettin on get on and all u sons a bitches gettin off get off and all u sons a bitches pissed off about the delay talk to the bitch in the kitchen!!!"

Class dismissed! the teacher yelled. but little johnny doesn't go, he walks to the teachers desk and says teacher can i go home with you? The teacher says no! little johnny says i'll tell my daddy so the teacher says okay. They get to the teachers house and she says well i'm going to take a quick shower, you sit right here. Can i take a shower with you he asks, NO! says the teacher i'll tell my daddy!! well okay, i guess so. So there in the shower and little johnny says, can i turn off the lights? No!says the teacher. i'll tell my daddy. well okay. so the lights are off and little johnny says can i stick my finger in your belly button? NO! says the teacher i'll tell my daddy. Well okay.....says the teacher. JOHNNY!!!!,that's not my belly-button, yeah? and that's not my finger eather!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One night when little johnny and his dad were taking a shower, little johnny asked, "hey dad, what's that?" the dad replies, "thats my ferrari" the next day, little johnny has a shower with his mum and asks, "mum, whats that?" the mum replies "thats my garage" later that night johnny had a bad dream and sleeps in the middle of his mum and dad. The dad asks little johnny,"move over son your dad needs to park his ferrari in the garage. Little johnny says "too late, my porsche is already in there!"

Little Jonny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day.
The first one says, "My Daddy is so cool he can eat four Burgers at one meal."
The second one says, "That's nothing. My Daddy can eat six." Little Jonny starts
laughing and says, "My Daddy can eat light bulbs." The other two boys tell Jonny that
he is out of his mind. They ask him why he thinks His daddy can eat light bulbs and
Little Jonny replies, "Last night I was passing my parents room and my Daddy said,
'Hunny turn out that light I want to eat that thing.'"

One day little Johnny comes home one day from school and his mom asks him how his day was.
He replies, "Mom, today I had sex with the teacher!"
Immediately she was angry. She said, "just wait 'till your dad gets home, he's going to be very mad at you. Go to your room!" So the boy goes to his room and finally his dad is home and comes up to the room. The boy tells his dad and the dad is proud of the boy.
"Great job son! How old are you 12?13? How about we go down to the store and get that shiny red bicycle you wanted?"
So, they go to the store and the dad buys the bike for his son. Then he says, "well Johnny, do you want to ride the bike home?"
The boy answers, " No, that's okay Dad, My ass is still sore!"

It was the first day of school.
Each member of this third grade class had to go up to the black board and draw a representation of their summer.
Little Jonny got up and drew a dot.
The teacher asked him what it was supposed to represent.
He replied..."It is a period"
The teacher said, "What does that have to do with your summer."
Jonny said...."Well my 15 year-old sister couldn't find hers, so my mom fainted, my dad had a heartattack, and the 21 year-old guy next door shot himself!"

Little Johnny runs into class late one day n the teacher asks why he was late. He answered me n Billy got chased by a car. The teacher asked where's Billy. Little Johnny answered the car hit him in the ass. The teacher said you mean rectum. Johnny replied
Rectum?(wrecked him)it damn near killed him!

Johny's gotta potty

Little Johny was sitting in class when he had to go to the restroom. He raised his hand and asked the teacher to go. The teacher, knowing he never pays attention in class decided to embarass him. Okay, Johnny...you can go if you recite your ABC's, like the rest of the class has been doing. So Johnny recited "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z. Now may i go?". That was incorrect Johnny, said the teacher. Where's the P? "Running down my leg".

It was the first day of grade 1 for little Jonny! His teacher asked him what his name was and he answered I don't know! The teacher said that his homework for tonight was to learn his name, so little Jonny wen't home and turned on the T.V. and heard fu**. Then he flicked the channel and heard bit**. Then he flicked the channel again and heard I wan't to have it with you! Then he flicked the channel again and heard, SUPERMAN!
The next day he wen't to school, and the teacher asked him what his name was and he answered fu**. The teacher said go to the office and Little Jonny called her a bit**.
He wen't to the office and the principil asked him what he was doing there and he said he wanted to do it with him! The principil said who do you think you are? And Little Jonny answered SUPERMAN!

Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night,
in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping,
he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act.

Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims
"Oh, boy! Horsey ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?"

Daddy, relieved that Little Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions,
and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees. Little Johnny hops on
and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping.
Suddenly, Little Johnny cries out,
"Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman
usually get bucked off!"

Little Johnny and the house's mortgage...

One day little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy
him a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Little Johnny's father said,
"Johnny, we have a $100,000 mortgage on the house, and
you want me to buy you a bicycle? Wait until Christmas."

Christmas came around, and Little Johnny asked again. His father said,
"Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry about
that. Ask me again some other time."

Well, about three days later, Little Johnny was seen walking out of the
house with all his belongings in a suitcase. His father felt sorry for
him, and asked him why he was leaving. Little Johnny said,
"Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you're
yelling that you were pulling out, and mommy said that you
should wait because she was coming too, "And I'll be DAMNED
if I get stuck with a $100,000 mortgage!"

those are good

lol havent heard lil johnny jokes in a long time