Not quite Hallmark material...

1. I always wanted
To have someone to hold,
Someone to love.
After meeting you ...
(inside card)
I changed my mind.

2. I must admit,
You brought religion into my life ...
(inside card)
I never believed in Hell
Until I met you.

3. As the days go by,
I think how lucky I am ...
(inside card)
That you're not here
To ruin it for me.

4. Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go ...
(inside card)
Will you take the knife from my back?
You'll probably need it again.

5. Someday I hope to marry ...
(inside card)
Someone other than you.

6. Happy birthday!
You look great for your age ...
(inside card)
Almost life-like!

7. When we were together,
You said you'd die for me ...
(inside card)
Now we've broken up,
I think it's time
To keep your promise.

8. We've been friends for a very long time ...
(inside card)
What do you say we stop?

9. I'm so miserable without you ..
(inside card)
It's almost like you're still here.

10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. .
(inside card)
Did you ever find out who the father was?

11. You are such a good friend
If we were on a sinking ship
And there was only one life jacket ...
(inside card)
I'd miss you terribly
And think of you often.

12. Your friends and I wanted
to do something really special
for your birthday ...
(inside card)
So we're having you put to sleep.

13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, and West Virginia).

14. Looking back over the years
We've been together,
I can't help but wonder ..
(inside card)
What was I thinking?

15. Congratulations on your wedding day! ...
(inside card)
Too bad no one likes your husband.

16. How could two people as beautiful as you ...
(inside card)
Have such an ugly baby?

lmao all great .. good thread dude

those are great!!

So true

i will have to use some of these.

those are great

some good away messages

Good stuff

Great one liners!

you making chelle teary eyed.

i got one,
your pretty

Pretty fucking ugly.


Now this is the best when you see your gonna get rejected by a girl, and just lay this one down

learner202 said:

you making chelle teary eyed.

Click to expand...

Yep! :saywhat:

My favorite:

14. Looking back over the years
We've been together,
I can't help but wonder ..
(inside card)
What was I thinking?

I get cards like that all the time

All joking aside, I HAVE gotten a card like that before. Stupid bitch!

fNot bad Rad taking over my funniness I see? good stuff bro

you know what i told this girl once. Well she was getting all mad at me for looking at her and came up to me and was like"what are u fuckin stareing at?" I told her "Don't talk I just want to look at you." She was frickin stunned and just turned around and walked off. My bros were stunned too! lol