just jokes

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART I (GOOD STUFF)
> >
> >What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
> >Juan on Juan.
> >
> >What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
> >The position of the dirt bag.
> >
> >Why is divorce so expensive?
> >Because it's worth it.
> >
> >Why is air a lot like sex?
> >Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
> >

> >SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART II (JUST WARMING UP!)
> >
> >What do you call a smart blonde?
> >A golden retriever.
> >
> >What do attorneys use for birth control?
> >Their personalities.
> >
> >What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
> >45 lbs.
> >
> >What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
> >45 minutes.
> >
> >What's the faster way to a man's heart?
> >Through his chest with a sharp knife.
> >
> >Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
and
> >good-looking?
> >Because those men already have boyfriends.
> >
> >What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
> >After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
> >
> >What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
> >The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
> >driving.
> >
> >What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
> >"Are you sure it's mine?"
> >
> >Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
> >Mace will do that to you.
> >
> >Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
> >Everyone has the same DNA.
> >
> >Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
> >Breasts don't have eyes!
> >
> >Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
> >He walks around saying "Yo."
> >
> >Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car
only on
> >Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
> >Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE, PART III (Just Great Stuff)
> >
> >Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
> >A different bar.
> >
> >Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
> >They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
> >
> >What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
other?
> >A speech impediment.
> >
> >What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
> >half-mast?
> >They're hiring.
> >
> >What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
> >A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
cage
> >along with... "a recipe."
> >
> >How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
> >Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
> >
> >What's the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern
fairy
> >tale?
> >A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern
fairytale
> >begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
> >
> >Why is there no Disneyland in China?
> >No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

LOLOLOLOLOL
ah my gut hurts this is good stuff pretty funny if u ask me

HEHEHEHE

What does a walrus and tupperware have in common?

There both looking for a tight seal.

the chinease one b funny

cute

I thought you all would like them.