Saks
New member
ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the
menu that you could
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the
teenager at the counter.
"You don't?" I replied.
"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.
"So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can
order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six
McNuggets.
TWO
The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what
happened a couple of months ago. I was checking out at
the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady
behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep
by the cash register and placed it between our things
so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she
picked up the "Divider" looking it all over for the
bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you
know how much this is?"
I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think
I'll buy that today."
She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and
left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into
her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she
said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept
asking for a credit card number, so she was using
the ATM "thingy."
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping
beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the
battery to this remote door unlocker.
Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to
a distant convenience store) would have a battery to
fit this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.
No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing
it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check
about the batteries.
It's a long walk."
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too
swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary
and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
"What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told
her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank
piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded
to make five "blank" copies.
SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large
motor home was towed into the garage.
The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and
the whole thing generally looked like an extra in
Twister." I asked the manager what had happened.
He told me that the driver had set the "cruise
control" and then went in the back to make a
sandwich.
SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in
the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field
call him when they have problems with
their computers. One night he got a call from a
woman in one of the branch banks who had this question:
I've got smoke coming from the back of my
terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a
suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and
connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.
The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier,
and police pressed the copy button each time they thought
the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the
menu that you could
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the
teenager at the counter.
"You don't?" I replied.
"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.
"So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can
order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six
McNuggets.
TWO
The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what
happened a couple of months ago. I was checking out at
the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady
behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep
by the cash register and placed it between our things
so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she
picked up the "Divider" looking it all over for the
bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you
know how much this is?"
I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think
I'll buy that today."
She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and
left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into
her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she
said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept
asking for a credit card number, so she was using
the ATM "thingy."
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping
beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the
battery to this remote door unlocker.
Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to
a distant convenience store) would have a battery to
fit this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.
No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing
it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check
about the batteries.
It's a long walk."
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too
swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary
and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
"What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told
her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank
piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded
to make five "blank" copies.
SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large
motor home was towed into the garage.
The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and
the whole thing generally looked like an extra in
Twister." I asked the manager what had happened.
He told me that the driver had set the "cruise
control" and then went in the back to make a
sandwich.
SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in
the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field
call him when they have problems with
their computers. One night he got a call from a
woman in one of the branch banks who had this question:
I've got smoke coming from the back of my
terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a
suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and
connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.
The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier,
and police pressed the copy button each time they thought
the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."
