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mailboxkillR
11-03-2003, 11:30 PM
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....
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3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and
apes?
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5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad
girls live.
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6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help
section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
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7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
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8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
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9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
it considered a hostage situation?
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10. Is there another word for synonym?
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11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
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12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an
endangered plant?
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13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
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14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?
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16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
remain silent?
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19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
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20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road
signs?
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21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
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22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
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23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
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24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
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25. How is it possible to have a civil war?

26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
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27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
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28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
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30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
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31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
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32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
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33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become
disoriented?
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34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?


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Joyful tidings....from my house to yours

footballcat
11-03-2003, 11:39 PM
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....

only if you cant drink

Saks
11-03-2003, 11:51 PM
funny

chelle
11-04-2003, 08:03 AM
those were funny - good to read in the morning :p

shyone
11-04-2003, 09:33 AM
These are great!!!!!

I know alot of deaf people, so I will find out about #8 LOL

pudgy
11-04-2003, 09:39 AM
thats alot of thoughts actually :)

BLEED GREEN
11-04-2003, 10:06 AM
Cool thoughts

Morgan1
11-04-2003, 10:11 AM
Good stuff!


:D

Max-HC
11-04-2003, 10:29 AM
Originally posted by shyone
These are great!!!!!

I know alot of deaf people, so I will find out about #8 LOL
BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAH

Bestquads
11-04-2003, 02:04 PM
lol funny