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View Full Version : monday morning funnies.....



Bently
11-24-2003, 10:59 AM
You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead."
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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
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A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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The bride, upon getting engaged, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
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Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
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Young Son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late."
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A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a
millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replied, "A billionaire."
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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.
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How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free.
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
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First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

Presser
11-24-2003, 12:32 PM
those are the funniest ones i have seen yet in all the years on here,lol, the fool one was good and so was the ring on wrong finger,lol

SEXYMAMA
11-24-2003, 12:36 PM
never getting married again.... lol

GetnBigr
11-24-2003, 01:21 PM
me neither!!!!

oh wait, I am married. Damnit, I don't get to play.

Bently
11-24-2003, 01:26 PM
Originally posted by SEXYMAMA
never getting married again.... lol

hey I did it twice, luckily I got it right the 2nd time! (ok so I had to say that since she is on the board now too....LOL)

GetnBigr
11-24-2003, 01:35 PM
Originally posted by KidRok
hey I did it twice, luckily I got it right the 2nd time! (ok so I had to say that since she is on the board now too....LOL)

I bet you get in trouble for that comment.....lmao

Bently
11-24-2003, 01:40 PM
LOL....yep your probably right! geesh, no sense of humor! :0