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saturn
12-22-2003, 01:51 PM
Ok I've been trying to find ways to loose my job for a while now with no luck. If they lay me off (which would be preferred) I get 3 months severance (paid vacation) or if I get fired it has to be for a reason that will allow me to collect unemployment.
I've volunteered for lay offs with no luck. And I've been doing my job real half assed in hopes of a firing.
What do I have to do to loose this damn job?:angry:

GetnBigr
12-22-2003, 02:03 PM
I have no advice here. Good luck to you in this venture!lol

crankin'stein
12-22-2003, 02:03 PM
Originally posted by saturn
Ok I've been trying to find ways to loose my job for a while now with no luck. If they lay me off (which would be preferred) I get 3 months severance (paid vacation) or if I get fired it has to be for a reason that will allow me to collect unemployment.
I've volunteered for lay offs with no luck. And I've been doing my job real half assed in hopes of a firing.
What do I have to do to loose this damn job?:angry:

LMAO....... Thats an odd outlook on life you have there my friend..... But sometimes I feel the same way.......

treat everyone in the office like shit...... they will eventually speak to you about it..... then when they do laugh in your bosses face..... tell him, you don't like hiim anyway.... LOL :D

saturn
12-22-2003, 02:09 PM
Originally posted by crankin'stein
treat everyone in the office like shit...... they will eventually speak to you about it..... then when they do laugh in your bosses face..... tell him, you don't like hiim anyway.... LOL :D

Tried that a couple weeks ago. I got my review today and got a solid rating and the standard raise.

Bently
12-22-2003, 02:12 PM
Did you try sex on your bosses desk after hours....and don't wipe it off when you finish?

crankin'stein
12-22-2003, 02:14 PM
Originally posted by KidRok
Did you try sex on your bosses desk after hours....and don't wipe it off when you finish?


what do you mean after hours???

BANG HIS WIFE ON HIS DESK WHILE HE IS SIGNING CHECKS....... THAT OUGHTA GET YOU FIRED!!! LOL!

saturn
12-22-2003, 02:19 PM
Originally posted by crankin'stein
what do you mean after hours???

BANG HIS WIFE ON HIS DESK WHILE HE IS SIGNING CHECKS....... THAT OUGHTA GET YOU FIRED!!! LOL!

You haven't seen the bosses wife. Not an option.

kidrok's lady
12-22-2003, 02:27 PM
Too suprised at hubby's suggestion to think straight!




lol

saturn
12-22-2003, 02:31 PM
Originally posted by kidrok's lady
Too suprised at hubby's suggestion to think straight!




lol

Just smack him in the back of the head when he's not looking. That's what my wife would do.:p

pumpseeker
12-22-2003, 05:01 PM
It's funny when you want to get fired so you can collect unemployment/severance. You could start taking extremely long lunch breaks, continue to fuck up your work, show up late, leave early, etc. After a few months of that, the boss should call you in for a discussion, or bashing as I like to call them. When this happens, just say fire me or get off my back...refuse to listen to this banter.... and they'll probably fire you. Just make sure to be disrespectful and that should work right? Don't let them make it out like you quit though. Unemployment is strict, from what I hear.

jaywooly
12-22-2003, 05:05 PM
Shit on his desk while he's sitting there and wipe your ass with his tie.

saturn
12-22-2003, 05:06 PM
Show up late....Check. I do that
Leave early......Check. I do that
Long luch breaks....Check. got that down
Haven't tried fucking up my work....Well maybe I have. I just blow off my work so I can post all day.

Anadrol
12-22-2003, 05:08 PM
start taking breaks every 5 minutes, and start showing your boss the finger very time he walks by, and act like an idiot .... may be the beginning

saturn
12-22-2003, 05:09 PM
Originally posted by Anadrol
start taking breaks every 5 minutes, and start showing your boss the finger very time he walks by, and act like an idiot .... may be the beginning

Act like an idiot....Hmmmmm. I think I can do that.:D

Anadrol
12-22-2003, 05:10 PM
of course u can :D

Anadrol
12-22-2003, 05:14 PM
And f**k up your work, and start blaming your co-workers for all that goes wrong :)

FlexX
12-22-2003, 05:16 PM
Originally posted by saturn
Show up late....Check. I do that
Leave early......Check. I do that
Long luch breaks....Check. got that down
Haven't tried fucking up my work....Well maybe I have. I just blow off my work so I can post all day.

Man - are you nuts?!! This sounds like you have got it pretty sweet!!! Just keep kicking back and pick up that pay cheque... your living the American dream lol :D

saturn
12-22-2003, 05:18 PM
Originally posted by FlexX
Man - are you nuts?!! This sounds like you have got it pretty sweet!!! Just keep kicking back and pick up that pay cheque... your living the American dream lol :D

Ya but I would rather kick back at home and collect a pay check.:D

Anadrol
12-22-2003, 05:19 PM
Who doesn't

jaywooly
12-22-2003, 05:19 PM
Lazy bastard

Anadrol
12-22-2003, 05:23 PM
:p :p :p

saturn
12-22-2003, 05:29 PM
Originally posted by jaywooly
Lazy bastard

That's what it says on my resume....Know anyone hiring lazy bastards?

rugbythug
12-22-2003, 06:59 PM
unemployment don't pay that much-Get a better job where you are rewarded work hard and retire early.

jaywooly
12-22-2003, 07:27 PM
Originally posted by saturn
That's what it says on my resume....Know anyone hiring lazy bastards?

You can work at my job. You enjoy busting concrete with a sledge hammer?

mark mcgwire
12-22-2003, 11:06 PM
Saturn I didn't realize you were so serious about getting fired. It sounds like you've tried everything but it isn't working. Maybe their using reverse psychology on you!!!

I think maybe you should start an "massage parlor" in your office. You could make a couple of extra bucks for yourself. :D

Anadrol
12-22-2003, 11:14 PM
Stay home from work without excuses..

saturn
12-22-2003, 11:22 PM
Originally posted by jaywooly
You can work at my job. You enjoy busting concrete with a sledge hammer?

Uhhhhh.....Let me think.....NO!!!!

saturn
12-22-2003, 11:23 PM
Originally posted by mark mcgwire
Saturn I didn't realize you were so serious about getting fired. It sounds like you've tried everything but it isn't working. Maybe their using reverse psychology on you!!!

I think maybe you should start an "massage parlor" in your office. You could make a couple of extra bucks for yourself. :D

No it's not reverse psychology the're just worried because I know all the passwords.:D

Anadrol
12-22-2003, 11:25 PM
Originally posted by saturn
Uhhhhh.....Let me think.....NO!!!!


Yeah.. for 5 seconds...

GetnBigr
12-23-2003, 07:52 AM
Originally posted by Anadrol
Stay home from work without excuses..

don't do this one; it's like quitting

saturn
12-23-2003, 01:48 PM
With my luck I'll keep showing up doing a half assed job and acting like an idiot and they'll promote me to President.

Cordoba
12-23-2003, 03:18 PM
Does your company provide decent medical coverage? Make a ton of doctors appointments during the work day and start complain about everything you can think of. After they run a bajillion tests on you they are bound to find something wrong. If you can keep yourself in the doctors office and out of the office, eventually you will end up on disability.

saturn
12-23-2003, 03:24 PM
Originally posted by Cordoba
Does your company provide decent medical coverage? Make a ton of doctors appointments during the work day and start complain about everything you can think of. After they run a bajillion tests on you they are bound to find something wrong. If you can keep yourself in the doctors office and out of the office, eventually you will end up on disability.

Never though of that one. Now if I can get over my hatred of going to the doctor it just might work.

VA MadDog
12-23-2003, 11:51 PM
Bet that none of you guys have been layed off or fired for no decent reason. I had to play the lay off/corporate down sizing game and it is not fun.

I know that this thread is in fun - but I just wanted to chime in for anyone who might actually be thinking that any of this might work. If you have a decnt job - DO NOTHING TO MESS IT UP until you have your next job in the bag, and even then you do not want to burn any bridges. Lay-offs, unemployment and that whole sceen is a huge drag - you never want to go there intentionally - trust me.

saturn
12-24-2003, 02:26 PM
Originally posted by VA MadDog
Bet that none of you guys have been layed off or fired for no decent reason. I had to play the lay off/corporate down sizing game and it is not fun.

I know that this thread is in fun - but I just wanted to chime in for anyone who might actually be thinking that any of this might work. If you have a decnt job - DO NOTHING TO MESS IT UP until you have your next job in the bag, and even then you do not want to burn any bridges. Lay-offs, unemployment and that whole sceen is a huge drag - you never want to go there intentionally - trust me.

Oh sure rain on my parade.:angry: :D

I've been at my job over 5 years so I like to bitch about it a lot. In reality I'll stay there until I can find somthing else I want to do. I get paid quite well but there is no harn in fantasizing about getting fired.:)

saturn
12-24-2003, 02:27 PM
Oh and I put tacks on my bosses chair before I left for vacation just to make me feel better.:D :D

bilter
12-26-2003, 02:29 PM
Saturn,
you should work for my old company. I got fired because of getting a mediocore (sp?) 2 years in a row. Here is the kicker though, I was filling in for 2 yrs on a job I didn't even want. Unemployment sucks (been 8 months now), can't find work and I am a degreed mechanical engineer wiht 12+ yrs experience. So, if you want to get fired, do what I did......Oh wait, I haven't figured out exactly what is was yet, other than tell mey boss when I disagreed with him, not in from of anyone but maybe thats your key, tell him what a jackass and a no nothiing he is in front of your co-workers.