jaywooly
Guru
This is probably the most stupid thing I've ever done in my life.
You see, last night my roomate and I were drinking some malt liquer. I had Steele Reserve and my roomate had Old English 800 HG (high gravity). I guess we all have our preferences right?
Anyway, just about when I crack my 4th 40 of Steele my roomate was on about 7 but he'd started at the begining of the Eagles-Panthers game.
Let me back up a second...Another roomate of ours works at Circut City and gets promos and other leftoves all of the time. So a few days back he brought home a life sized cardboard cut-out of Stiffler from the American Wedding movie.
Stiffler was a bastard let me tell you. He would end up in your bed and startle the hell out of you while going into your room to retire. He was also know to sit in the bathtub and watch you piss. Made me miss one the bastard.
So here I am with my 4th 40 and I'm feeling lovely. I go outside to smoke a cigarette (I only smoke when I drink). Lets just say Stiffler startled me for the very last time that night.
I burnt his eyes out with my cig. Then my drunk(er) rommate wanted me to stand him up in the cigarette bucket. I did. We tried to burn him to the ground but it just wouldn't catch. My roomate decides to get out lighter fluid. He gives him a good showr in the stuff and I light him up.
Stiffler proceeds to melt the bucket. This only makes up decide to throw our rubbish on it. So we do that for a while and get bored. Then my drunk roomate get a pillow from the couch and sets it in the fire (after a good soak in the lighter fluid).
That shit catches pretty good. Then my roomie said we're missing a pillow to the couch in there and it's not sitting too well with him. I suggest burning the couch and he agrees that this is the action that must be taken.
I am thinking just a bit better than him and decide to stand the couch upright (on it's side). I figured this would leave less of a burn mark on the lawn. He agrees but he tells me we're out of lighter fluid and we're in no condition to drive anywhere to get more.
My great thinking roomate says that he's got some gasoline in the shed. I get it out and pour an extremely unsafe amount of gas on the couch. I'm standing there and I flick my cigarette on it.
That thing burned to the ground. The only thing that was left was the wire supports and ash. My roomate decided to get rid of some other furniture and threw an oak end table on the fire.
I was up until 7:45 puting out the fire in the middle of our lawn and shoveling ash into buckets.
Now we don't know what to tell the landlord when he comes over.
We're thinking of planting a tree there or maybe a rosebush. The only snag is that it's directly in the middle of the lawn so a bnush would probably look tacky.
One roomate that knew about it (didn't really think we'd do it though) was up in the morning when I got ready for work and I asked him what he was thinking. He said, "I don't think we'll be living here much longer. What the hell, did you not think it would mess up the grass?"
I told him about out tree idea and he liked it. I couldn't have said it better myself when he said, "I guess it's better to be in trouble for planting a tree rather than burning a couch down in the back yard and screwing up the lawn."
His room is the one that's in the back of the house, closest to our bonfire. He asked me what if the house would have caught up? I let him know that I was manning the hose and we had it under control. The last bit of advice he gave me before I left was...
"If you have to man a hose to keep a fire under control from a night of binge drinking, you should have been tipped off right there that that wasn't such a hot idea."
I do need to say that I did get counsil before we did it up. I asked our 4th (one not mentioned above) roomate what his thought were about this. He says, "I have two answers. The first one being the cops may come or something might catch fire and we'd be super screwed." I say, "And your second answer?" He replies, "That shit would be hella cool to see catch fire."
That was all the push I needed.
You see, last night my roomate and I were drinking some malt liquer. I had Steele Reserve and my roomate had Old English 800 HG (high gravity). I guess we all have our preferences right?
Anyway, just about when I crack my 4th 40 of Steele my roomate was on about 7 but he'd started at the begining of the Eagles-Panthers game.
Let me back up a second...Another roomate of ours works at Circut City and gets promos and other leftoves all of the time. So a few days back he brought home a life sized cardboard cut-out of Stiffler from the American Wedding movie.
Stiffler was a bastard let me tell you. He would end up in your bed and startle the hell out of you while going into your room to retire. He was also know to sit in the bathtub and watch you piss. Made me miss one the bastard.
So here I am with my 4th 40 and I'm feeling lovely. I go outside to smoke a cigarette (I only smoke when I drink). Lets just say Stiffler startled me for the very last time that night.
I burnt his eyes out with my cig. Then my drunk(er) rommate wanted me to stand him up in the cigarette bucket. I did. We tried to burn him to the ground but it just wouldn't catch. My roomate decides to get out lighter fluid. He gives him a good showr in the stuff and I light him up.
Stiffler proceeds to melt the bucket. This only makes up decide to throw our rubbish on it. So we do that for a while and get bored. Then my drunk roomate get a pillow from the couch and sets it in the fire (after a good soak in the lighter fluid).
That shit catches pretty good. Then my roomie said we're missing a pillow to the couch in there and it's not sitting too well with him. I suggest burning the couch and he agrees that this is the action that must be taken.
I am thinking just a bit better than him and decide to stand the couch upright (on it's side). I figured this would leave less of a burn mark on the lawn. He agrees but he tells me we're out of lighter fluid and we're in no condition to drive anywhere to get more.
My great thinking roomate says that he's got some gasoline in the shed. I get it out and pour an extremely unsafe amount of gas on the couch. I'm standing there and I flick my cigarette on it.
That thing burned to the ground. The only thing that was left was the wire supports and ash. My roomate decided to get rid of some other furniture and threw an oak end table on the fire.
I was up until 7:45 puting out the fire in the middle of our lawn and shoveling ash into buckets.
Now we don't know what to tell the landlord when he comes over.
We're thinking of planting a tree there or maybe a rosebush. The only snag is that it's directly in the middle of the lawn so a bnush would probably look tacky.
One roomate that knew about it (didn't really think we'd do it though) was up in the morning when I got ready for work and I asked him what he was thinking. He said, "I don't think we'll be living here much longer. What the hell, did you not think it would mess up the grass?"
I told him about out tree idea and he liked it. I couldn't have said it better myself when he said, "I guess it's better to be in trouble for planting a tree rather than burning a couch down in the back yard and screwing up the lawn."
His room is the one that's in the back of the house, closest to our bonfire. He asked me what if the house would have caught up? I let him know that I was manning the hose and we had it under control. The last bit of advice he gave me before I left was...
"If you have to man a hose to keep a fire under control from a night of binge drinking, you should have been tipped off right there that that wasn't such a hot idea."
I do need to say that I did get counsil before we did it up. I asked our 4th (one not mentioned above) roomate what his thought were about this. He says, "I have two answers. The first one being the cops may come or something might catch fire and we'd be super screwed." I say, "And your second answer?" He replies, "That shit would be hella cool to see catch fire."
That was all the push I needed.
