Breakups.....

I recently broke up with my g/friend I was with for 4 years. It was initially a mutual break up and we were going to just live seperately to take some time apart and now she says she wants to be single, but she doesn't want to date anyone. She claims she is not seeing anyone and she calls me from time to time she says right now she doesn't want to be with me but maybe in the future things could change. She told me to move on and she seems to be very content with her new lifestyle. I think I am freaking out because I don't know what she is really up to and I don't want to be lead on. We have both done things wrong in the past however she says she needs her time for her. I am giving her-her space and I am trying to not call her but I want to and I miss her a great deal. What is the best way to keep myself sane and not worrying weather or not if she will be back. I need some feedback because everyone I talk to isn't really making me feel better they are all telling me negative stuff. Thankx JS

How old are you? When I was younger I had the same thing happen to me. Unfortunately there is nothing that we can say or do that will keep you from missing her and remembering the good times you shared. The pain will be there for a while.

What I can say is that my life is much better now and I am with someone that I truly care about. I wouldn't worry so much about what other people say. You are just going to have to occupy your time more now so that it is not constantly on your mind. Things happen for reasons and my gut instinct says that you are going to be fine! Move on my friend!

Thanks. I just don't want to let a good thing go. Its hard to turn your back on someone you care for.

If we are being friends I was trying to figure out if I should pick her up a bottle of perfume for vday just as a kind gesture. Should I?

jake steed said:

If we are being friends I was trying to figure out if I should pick her up a bottle of perfume for vday just as a kind gesture. Should I?

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sure...

She told me to move on

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then move on, live your life

You could get her something as a freind but to me it just seems that it will torture you in the fact that you still care for her.

Trust me if she said move on then she has her obvious reasons. If you loved someone and things are fine would you tell them to move on?

I have a strange feeling things may be over. But what will make you feel better is seeing other girls. Have a friend set you up on a blind date or something. When you see that there are plenty of others out there that want your company you'll forget all about the girl that would not let you play poker with your friends.

The best advice I can give ( Iv Been there) is try to get involved with yourself, let her go, If its meant to be she'll be back. If she does come back, you may not want to get back with her. Learn from your relatonship with and grow from it. The world is an open opportunity for you. Dont look for some one special... they always show up in the most unexpected times and places. One day you think about Her and smile but you be over it and you be OK with it. It fuckng hurts to get out of a familiar and comfortable situation. But sometimes thats all it really was. I Promise you when you meet the next hottie that catches your eye and heart, you be glad things went the way it did. Being friendly and on goods terms, and being friends are not the same thing and dont confuse yourself with the 2 different situations. Its almost impossible to be friends with someone you love, because it NOT just a freindship is it? You can be friendly but not friends. Move on my man, be strong because it aint easy. You'll have some tuff lonely nights , but just like in the gym the pain is part of it. Love hurts as much as love feels good. You had good and it didnt work, so imbrace the hurt, it will make you stronger .Youve just had another lesson in life. congradulations you now move one step forward, dont be foolish and hurt with out moving forward. And one other thing, Dude, there is sooo much hot ass out there. You CAN find one that likes all the stuff you like and can deal with your worst charateristics,,I DID! good luck and hang in there!

Be careful of the rebound syndrome. Forget the past and move on. It doesn't matter what she is doing and when she is doing it. You will drive yourself bonkers if you let that get to you!

Some great advice in this thread. jake I was in a very similar situation 12 years ago. We both really cared and loved each other, even after we broke up (3 year relationship). it hurt us both to "stay friends" and see each other with other people. Finally she moved 400 miles away and we both got a life and found other people. probably the best thing to do is focus on things you like to do, and you will find another great girl in due time. Don't spend alot of time sitting on the fence waiting to see what she is gonna do...it is your life bro, live it up man.

Good answers guys!

Let her go. Time can only tell what will happen. Day by day...stay busy....i take on my stress at the gym and surround myself with all the positive people there. Don't look at it as such a setback as hard as it may sound. Sometimes it's better to reevaluate yourself when you are affected so emotionally by someone else and take on a new beginning. You just may find that you won't want her back..and she may come running back when she doesn't hear from you for a while...

thanks guys..... I am think I am just going to find her and pound her ass pipe until her o ring falls out.

then nobody will have her....

jake steed said:

thanks guys..... I am think I am just going to find her and pound her ass pipe until her o ring falls out.

then nobody will have her....

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Not funny.

Jake, its okay you feel that way your hurt your allowed to be mad its a process of change and feelings..Thats very normal we know you dont want to hurt her your angry Its a process of healing....I'm going through something too There are several emotions you go through its ok you 'll get through it. If your method of dealing with things arent disturbed you'll be fine . If someone interupts your process you can be damaged greatly and hurt more. Dont allow anyone to tell you how to feel you feel what you feel and its ok....you are allowed to be angry , sad and cry its ok i assure you you'll be okay and if you need someone to talk to I'm here I'll hurt with ya . You have alot to offer someone share yourself with someone that values you If you want to talk I'm here your ok.... your just hurt... the worst feeling is when your hurting and someone keeps hurting ya.. what kind of people want to hurt a person thats hurting its almost insane.... heres a hug and if ya let me i'm here for ya there is abunch of really kewl people here. That'll support ya for real....

thanks guys i was jk i will let her keep her o ring.