Post ya best Jokes

Ok I'll start.

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A beautiful young lady wearing a lovely summer
dress is sitting peacefully in a railway carriage on
her own, when a dirty traveller enters the compartment,
eating a tray of king prawns.
The filthy youth sits down opposite the woman,
shelling his prawns and flicking the shells
on the floor, and occasionally tossing one on to
the young ladies lap. When he's finished, he
screws up the carton he's been eating from, and
casually throws it at the girls face. The young
lady calmly stands up, clears the shells off the
floor into the carton, throws all the rubbish out
the window, and then pulls the communication
cord. "You silly bitch," says the traveller,
with a sneer, "you'll get a £50 fine for that."
"Yes," the young lady replies, "and when
the police smell your fingers, you'll get ten
years..."
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Sandpaper Sally

A guy gets out of prison after serving a 10 year sentence, and as you know, a guy can get pretty horny after 10 years of no pussy available. Hes out walking around on his first day of freedom, with only 5 bux in his pocket. He goes to the first pimp he sees and says "hey man, i only got 5 bux, do u know a girl i could get?" the pimp replies "yea man theres a girl i know by the name of sandpaper sally that lives up on the hill"... so the guy goes to the house on the hill, gives it a couple of knocks and a young lady opens the door, "how may i help you?" shes askes... "yea i only got 5 bux, u think that will be enough?"... "plenty" she says, come on in. so he goes in and they get naked and start doing it, things were fine at first, then he started feeling something really uncomfortable hurting his dick... "man what is that??" he says... "excuse me for just a second" and she goes to the restroom... after about 2 minutes in the bathroom she comes out and they start humping like wild rabbits... the sex was great and at the end he asks "man what did u do that was so different?"...."o i had to go to the bathroom, pick the scabs and let the puss run"

hence... "sandpaper sally"

A beautiful young lady wearing a lovely summer
dress is sitting peacefully in a railway carriage on
her own,
when a dirty traveller enters the compartment,
eating a tray of king prawns.
The filthy youth sits down opposite the woman,
shelling his prawns and flicking the shells
on the floor, and occasionally tossing one on to
the young ladies lap. When he's finished, he
screws up the carton he's been eating from, and
casually throws it at the girls face. The young
lady calmly stands up, clears the shells off the
floor into the carton, throws all the rubbish out
the window, and then pulls the communication
cord. "You silly bitch," says the traveller,
with a sneer, "you'll get a £50 fine for that."
"Yes," the young lady replies, "and when
the police smell your fingers, you'll get ten
years..."