i am really confused! help is appreciated.

ok here's the story. i have been with my girlfreind for almost 3 years, we were super serious talking about getting married and all the rest. well she has had a small anxiety disorder since we met, and it was never really a problem. but then at about the 2 year mark, it started getting worse and then she started meds for it. everything went to hell after that, her sex drive was at zero, she had severe mood swings and developed other problems aswell like social anxiety and then depression. well all this led to her not exercising, eating rarely and mostly eating junk. well over the next few months we tried to work it out, and we tried everything. and now the past month we barely talk and have just been going through the motions of a relationship.
well, last night we broke up and it was mutual and a smooth brake up, but the second i said the words i just got this lump in stomach, i feel like i am making the biggest mistake of my life, i wanted to have kids with this woman.
Here's the question, do you guys think i am just going through some seperation anxiety or did i make the biggest mistake of my life.
your advice is greatly appreciated, thanks.

bro I feel ya on this one, My wife and I are going through sme tough times right now, I havent realy an answer for ya other then to say stick it out as long as ya can, I personaly dont understand women 1 bit,

anything that can bleed for 7 straight days and still live isnt human! lmao

Can't trust em. have you seen alexander the movie yet? there is a classic line in there from Val Kilmer about how you can't trust women.

well, last night we broke up and it was mutual and a smooth brake up, but the second i said the words i just got this lump in stomach, i feel like i am making the biggest mistake of my life, i wanted to have kids with this woman.
Here's the question, do you guys think i am just going through some seperation anxiety or did i make the biggest mistake of my life. your advice is greatly appreciated, thanks.

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It really hurts to break up with someone you've known for that long, and it will probably hurt for some time. I wouldn't call it separation anxiety at all. However, if you are not sure you made the right decision, search your feelings and if possible discuss it with her if she is open to it. My wife goes through depression and mood swings sometimes, and all I can do is be there for her. I have to put her needs above my own. Sometimes that has meant I come home from work to be with her instead of go to the gym that night.

When you both broke up, was that a conclusion you were planning on or did it start out as a discussion of how you both could change to save the relationship? As I mentioned above, the key is not to think how the problems are affecting yourself (i.e. MY sex life, MY life), but to think of your partner instead (how does this affect her life, her well being, etc.)--what would you do to make things better or what could you do to help? Above all, you must communicate--discuss how each of you feel--about the issues at hand and how they affect your partner, not how they affect yourself.

Maybe it isn't too late if you really want to save the relationship. Give it a try, and good luck.

I gotta agree with Tony.

I dated a girl for 4 1/2 years. Even my mom thought i was going to marry her. When we broke up for good, i though it was maybe the right thing, but i still think about her and regret it.

Don't make a mistake that you'll be regretting still two years later. Concentrate more on how to fix things with her.

If it's meant to be, it will. Good luck, bro.

your just starting the first stage of the five stages you go through during a "loss" it will pass!

Presser said:

bro I feel ya on this one, My wife and I are going through sme tough times right now, I havent realy an answer for ya other then to say stick it out as long as ya can, I personaly dont understand women 1 bit,

anything that can bleed for 7 straight days and still live isnt human! lmao

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I think we all can appreciate QB's pain on this one....in almost sixty years i have still not figured out women....but then again through out history i can always remember there being a woman behind each man either in support or in despair. They weren't meant to be understood but simply enjoyed and appreciated. I've been through the same song and dance with two ex wives and a few mistresses...gotta give 'em credit they sure can make a simple situation not so simple. Not much advice here but if it feels right you just have to follow your heart. Good Luck

^^^ agreed just go with your true feelings if you think you might of made a mistake fix it....

pee in all her shoes...that would make me feel better...

hey i am sorry to hear what is happening....well i was involved in a lot of long term relationships and what i learned is that for a relationship to work you have to love the other person unconditionally and you love all her faults while others would hate.
Imop, i dont think its separation anxiety, but it seems that your gut feeling is telling you that its not time for a break up right now, its seems that her condition (making it difficult to work things out) is a huge factor in the deterioration of your relationship.. its up to you if you love her enough to support her and help her cope through the situation. however, if you find it that you have done everything you can and know that you will be better off alone, then leave.... or if you are undecided, take it slow and pehaps take a break before making and extreme decision...pehaps the second time around will be the better by a ten fold,
take care and good luck

irishpride said:

pee in all her shoes...that would make me feel better...

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Hey IP...your not gonna be wearing those shoes after peeing in them....water sports suck! LMAO

Wow I can feel your pain..... have you tyied to talk to her Doc to see if the meds are the right ones or even proper dose? kinda sounds like maybe the meds sent her off the deep end.. also sounds a bit like PMDD. severe pre-menstral disorder... if you think it's a mistake get her back and go with her to the doctor and get it worked out.. I did with my wife and things are going great. you can add some insite that she might not see... good luck

Wow. i never expected to get so many responses. thanks everybody. we are working it out right now and are kind of back together (haven't had make up sex yet so it's not official). i still gotta remember that i am only 20 and shouldn't get sucked into something i might regret and i don't want to resent her in the future, cause i kinda already do. when i was in grade 12 we started dating and she took my mind away from everything important, i stopped getting good grades, i didn't train as hard as i did before, and my relationship with my friends was just killed because i never saw them anymore outside of school, and we used to be so tight, like brothers. i think sometimes that if i never met her i know that i would be in a good university playing football at a high level, but instead, i'm in a crappy community college playin for a shitty team that practices in a cow pasture.
i don't want to ruin my life because of a woman, they are the DEVIL! Fuck all that love shit, all that matters is success. (sounds bad but i was just venting) thanks for the support. never seen any of your faces, but you all are becoming friends.
Thanks again