Sick as a shit house rat

So I was in a hurry this morning. Had to meet someone out on the island bright and early. I knew I had to get going but have some sort of mental sickness. I thought, I cannot leave the house catabolic-have to eat something. I slammed down 5 eggs, 4 whites and 1 whole, raw. Then muscled down a yogurt and ran to my ride and when I was driving away had a few pieces of bread stuffed in my mouth. All of a sudden I got to a traffic light and knew I was in for some trouble. I rolled down the window and near projectile vomited out the car, good thing is was raining. Because I was later on the highway I now have a nice little decorative design down the side door of my car. Thought I would share that with everyone so they could trade their nice stories like this one. Oh, if only I could projectile vomit at will so the next J off who pulls up next to me cranking a really bad song would wish a bird just shit on his car. uke:

Thats hilarious Glen. One time I was leaving school and I had to take a dump. Well I thought I could make it. I get about halfway home and I started gettin the worst stomach cramps in my life. It felt like someone was twisting my intestines around inside me. I slammed on my brakes and got ready to pull over to the side of the road. The camps went away so I took off and sped home. I actually contemplated taking a dump on the side of the highway in the middle of the day. I made it home and blew up the house. I mean my mom could smell it from a different level in my house. Oh yea and I just started taking a new protein and I have explosive dumps, is that normal?

yuck

tilla52 said:

Thats hilarious Glen. One time I was leaving school and I had to take a dump. Well I thought I could make it. I get about halfway home and I started gettin the worst stomach cramps in my life. It felt like someone was twisting my intestines around inside me. I slammed on my brakes and got ready to pull over to the side of the road. The camps went away so I took off and sped home. I actually contemplated taking a dump on the side of the highway in the middle of the day. I made it home and blew up the house. I mean my mom could smell it from a different level in my house. Oh yea and I just started taking a new protein and I have explosive dumps, is that normal?

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Yes, I usually shit myself 5 or 6 times when I change protein brands. lol. J/K bro. uke:

Hey man, your talking to a guy who shits his briches at least one a year! Usually all beer related! Just last month I was raking leaves and cut what I thought was routine gas. I ended up with a little oatmeal that ran down my leg into my shoes. Never rake leaves after a few Becks.

heh heh....straight up mudbutt. ewwwwwwwwwwww