Going crazy

I've got to vent a little bit and this isn't even about bodybuilding. I have been going crazy for several weeks. Before I get into this explaniation I want to make it clear that I love my wife. But she is driving me nuts. We have two kids (5 and almost 2) and we decided we didn't want anymore. So we were talking about me getting a vasectomy, which I wasn't looking forward to but was going to do anyway. Well, the end of November she called me real pissed off and said guess what? I immediately began to think of things I had been hiding from her (I used to do that a lot), but realized I hadn't done that in a long time and had nothing to hide. She tells me she is pregnant and we start to deal with that. I am ok with this...I mean it's not exactly what I wanted, but it's cool. But she is not. She has been depressed, moping around the house, has a short temper with the kids especially as well as me, and can't seem to do half of the things she used to do. I don't want to sound like a prick with this, but I don't know what to do to help her. I have been picking up her end of the housework and spending as much time with our oldest as I can because she is the one that gets in trouble the most. I understand there is no advice that will help in this situation and that things will right themselves eventually...but I am tired. I haven't told anyone about this and I'm hoping that getting it off my chest will help a little. Sorry about the long post...and if there are any feminists out there that decide to flame me about this try walking in my shoes for one minute...work, kids, dinner, housework, and a wife that is depressed but doesn't want any help is a lot to handle...but she's worth it. Peace

You should let her know that it makes you unhappy to see her in pain, and that you want to help her feel better. Depression is a hard thing to deal with from both sides. Maybe finding something she likes to do or just getting away for awhile might help her. Though, I think the only real solution is talking with her and trying to convince her to get some help if she needs it. Professional, or otherwise.

Anyways, You're not wrong for feeling the way you do...anyone would feel the same if they were in your shoes. This just goes to show that you love her and are willing to do anything for her. Make sure she knows that and keep communicating.

just get a vasectomy and then tell her "you cant be having as bad a day as I am".

not being a smartass either, hey, it will fix the problem in the future.

good idea, but no point in the vasectomy now...have to do a c-section so the doc. will just tie her tubes then...besides a shot in the nuts doesn't appeal to me...I was really hesitant about getting one

Spiderman1234 said:

I was really hesitant about getting one

Click to expand...

and look where that got ya!



ya, better to snip her than snip you.

Well, here is the real deal. First ask yourself do you really love your wife? It may sound fucked up, but it does not in my world. I mean look at those people who get married just because they are getting old, or something like that. I would say the percentage rivals that who are married out of realy attraction. If you are married regardless you have to realize you have to sacricfice. Especially if there are children. Put them first and talk this over with your wife if she is hostile about it or not. Let me tell you, being the product of a broken home you might as well just start putting your kids out on the street and smoking crack. Not that bad, but trush me, you may not think so but it has great potential to screw things up in the long run. Problems cannot be worked out sometimes, you have to get away if you have to. Nothing wrong with that. Just pick up the pieces man. Be a good dad, don't be the one to hold grudes with your ex. Be pollite even if she is mean. Set an example. And raise your kids first. Worry about the other shit later.

Thanks for the words guys...i think I just needed to get it off my chest. I do love my wife, but it has been hard making the transition from dealing with school and work part-time do dealing with house,kids, work full-time, and her being depressed. I told her how I felt and we talked about it. She realizes she is being difficult and thanked me for how much I was helping. We're blaming a lot of this on the hormone thing with the pregnancy, but if not we have decided to go to counseling after the baby comes. Things seem to be going better now. Again, thanks for the encouragement.