If you ever come visit me in Iowa

This list of rules will be handed to each person as
> they enter Iowa:
> >
> >
> >1.  That slope-shouldered farm boy you are
> snickering at did more work
> >before breakfast than you will do all week at the
> gym.  How'd you like to
> >go
> >home and tell your momma you got your ass kicked by
> a big guy in bib
> >overalls?
> >
> >2.   It's called a "gravel road." No matter how
> slow you drive, you're
> >going
> >to get dust on your BMW.  I have a four-wheel drive
> because I need it.  Now
> >drive or get it out of the way.
> >
> >3.  We all started hunting and fishing when we were
> nine years old.  Yeah,
> >we saw Bambi. We got over it.
> >
> >4.  Any references to "corn fed" when talking about
> our women will get your
> >ass kicked...by our women.
> >
> >5.  Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around.
> You look like an idiot.
> >
> >6.  If that cell phone rings while a bunch of
> mallards are making their
> >final approach, we will shoot it.  You might hope
> you don't have it up to
> >your ear at the time.
> >
> >7.  No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the
> menu.  Order steak.  Order
> >it
> >rare.  Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick
> off the two pounds of
> >ham
> >
> >and turkey.
> >
> >8.  Yeah, we have sweet tea.  It comes in a glass
> -- with two packets of
> >sugar and a long spoon.
> >
> >9.  You bring Coke into my house, it better be
> brown, wet, and served over
> >ice.
> >
> >10. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car.  We're
> real impressed.  We
> >have
> >quarter-million dollar combines that we use two
> weeks a year.
> >
> >11.  Let's get this straight.  We may have one
> stoplight in town.  We stop
> >when it's red.
> >We may even stop when it's yellow.
> >
> >12.  Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks because
> they want to.  So,
> >you're a feminist.
> >Isn't that cute.
> >
> >13.  Yeah, we eat catfish, Northern, walleye and
> turtle, too.  If you
> >really
> >want sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait
> shop.
> >
> >14.  They are pigs and cows.  That's what they
> smell like.  Get over it.
> >Don't like it?Interstate 80 runs two ways; get on
> it.
> >
> >15.  The "Opener" refers to the first days of
> fishing and deer season.  
> >They
> >are religious holidays.  You can get breakfast at
> the church.
> >
> >16. So what, if every person in every pick-up
> waves?  It's called being
> >friendly. Understand the concept?
> >
> >17. Yeah, we have golf courses.  Don't hit in the
> water hazards.  It spooks
> >the fish.
> >
> >
> >Have a nice stay!
>
>
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LMAO ... thanks for my new sig btw.. "So, you're a feminist. isn't that cute." ...

tiny

 

mr456, I wanna hang out with you someday.  

that sounds like the state i LOVE.. the only thind i'd add to that is .. in my travels over the last 15 years is.. without fail people will ask me where i'm from and i say Iowa and they say" Oh isn't that where they grow potatoes" now it depends on how they say it because that seems to be some really good joke for the rest of the nation.. if they say it in a real smart A$$ tone this has been a responce that i find that works really good to shut the smart ass up..


" you know i'm not sure i didn't graduate from elementary Social Studies so i wouldn't know.. you might be right"

and that ends the convertation really fast

no there are no potatoe in iowa

gear101

Yeah there are afew other ones too but I can't remember them all...my favorite:
DON"T CUSS THE FARMER ON A FULL STOMACH!

sounds a lot like Texas!