Juggling relationship with goals

cenzo78 · Aug 19, 2010

Ive been with my girlfriend for over 8 months and we're still in that stage of going out every weekend whether its someones birthday just a get together or just a happy hour that lasts until 2am. She still likes to hit up a restaurant/bar (houlihans, applebee's, ect.) once a week just to get out of the house for dinner. She goes to the gym, maybe 2 or 3 times a week, and thats considered working out for her. I go 2 or 3 times a day... She doesnt get that.

Here are some of her favorite quotes...

"But you already did cardio this morning..."

"Ugh, do you HAVE to go to the gym today..."

"Are you seriously getting a salad again..."

"Can you eat something other than chicken please..."

"I feel like a fat ass if I get a meal and all youre getting is salad, just forget it"

This weekend was the kicker.. We went to this bar for a friends 29th bday and while everyone else was getting buffalo wings and fried mushrooms, and soft pretzels with 3 different dipping sauces, I ordered the "Good girl Ceasar Salad".. The comments lasted at least 3 hours...

Anyone else in my boat?

The Dude · Aug 19, 2010

Nope. I won't tolerate that shit. I could date someone that doesn't share my goals, but not someone who doesn't respect them.

NAIR · Aug 19, 2010

Sorry, wrong woman for you. Have you seen a top-level pro who doesn't claim that their wife is the backbone of the operation? I couldn't do half the shit I do without my wife. I think Presser would agree with this one, himself.

Dump this girl and find someone who understands why you're eating chicken again, after doing cardio for the third time that day--you'll be thankful you did.

You need a fellow fitness enthusiast...

Look at the bright side, new pussy is in your future!

MMX2 · Aug 19, 2010

ugh.... Been there , done that... she made me choose- I did not choose her.
This is the cornerstone of what keeps me going in life and if she doesn't share it, then move on dude..

MrMeat · Aug 19, 2010

My wife has a cleaner diet than i do. Half the time im eating her food. that tends to piss her off though

steph · Aug 19, 2010

Have you tried talking to her about your goals and why they are important to you and why you need to eat clean, hit the gym multiple times a day/week, etc? Maybe if she understands that her support (instead of her criticism) would bring you closer rather than push you apart, she will be more understanding... especially if she wants to be part of your life.

If you really care about her and want a future with her (or at the very least, want to continue a relationship with her for the time being), maybe you can explain this and ask her to please respect what you are trying to do. It can't hurt, can it??

I admit that Jon was a big influence in me turning towards a clean and active lifestyle, but that's because I WANTED to do it and I finally had the tools and resources to understand how to achieve my goals. And because of that, it works... but I know from experience with other people in my life (family, friends, coworkers) who *don't* understand the lifestyle, it's easy for them to pick on me, crack jokes, etc. For that reason, it's easier to date someone who "gets" it, but it doesn't mean that it can't work... it's just a matter of communicating this to her and finding a balance.

I'm going to take a guess that you probably had a relationship with the gym long before she came along, so if she loves you, then she needs to love you for who you are. This is who you were before you met her, so she shouldn't try to change that...

And if that doesn't work, tell her that going to the gym is better than you going out to bars or strip clubs every night. At least you're doing something that's healthy and not destructive... plus you go home to her every night. What girl could argue with that??

saudades · Aug 19, 2010

steph said:
I'm going to take a guess that you probably had a relationship with the gym long before she came along, so if she loves you, then she needs to love you for who you are. This is who you were before you met her, so she shouldn't try to change that...

And if that doesn't work, tell her that going to the gym is better than you going out to bars or strip clubs every night. At least you're doing something that's healthy and not destructive... plus you go home to her every night. What girl could argue with that??

That's something I wish my wife would remember.

Pharm_Fed · Aug 19, 2010

steph said:
Have you tried talking to her about your goals and why they are important to you and why you need to eat clean, hit the gym multiple times a day/week, etc? Maybe if she understands that her support (instead of her criticism) would bring you closer rather than push you apart, she will be more understanding... especially if she wants to be part of your life.

If you really care about her and want a future with her (or at the very least, want to continue a relationship with her for the time being), maybe you can explain this and ask her to please respect what you are trying to do. It can't hurt, can it??

I admit that Jon was a big influence in me turning towards a clean and active lifestyle, but that's because I WANTED to do it and I finally had the tools and resources to understand how to achieve my goals. And because of that, it works... but I know from experience with other people in my life (family, friends, coworkers) who *don't* understand the lifestyle, it's easy for them to pick on me, crack jokes, etc. For that reason, it's easier to date someone who "gets" it, but it doesn't mean that it can't work... it's just a matter of communicating this to her and finding a balance.

I'm going to take a guess that you probably had a relationship with the gym long before she came along, so if she loves you, then she needs to love you for who you are. This is who you were before you met her, so she shouldn't try to change that...

And if that doesn't work, tell her that going to the gym is better than you going out to bars or strip clubs every night. At least you're doing something that's healthy and not destructive... plus you go home to her every night. What girl could argue with that??

If all women had their heads on this straight the world would be a better place.

cenzo78 · Aug 19, 2010

Thanks for all who chimed in..

Steph- I have talked to her about it. She does understand that the gym is a major part of my life, it was when we met, so its not something new. She just knows I have no desire to ever compete, so eating like a competitor and doing cardio twice a day boggles her mind. I am just doing this to prove to myself that if I ever wanted too, I could do it. I spend the past 10 years believing bloated is better.. Bulky, stocky, huge, whatever you want to call it. Im just realizing that if I just taper in my waist a bit and drop a little bf, I could look twice the size. Its nothing that will break us up, but when I was only going once a day during my lunch break which didnt affect her at all, to going sometimes 3 times a day is cutting into her time.. She will get over it I guess..

dreww · Aug 21, 2010

The Dude said:
I could date someone that doesn't share my goals, but not someone who doesn't respect them.

Amen brother! this says it all.

The Survivor · Dec 16, 2010

I wish I could find someone who at least attempts to comprehend what I go through, other than "thats stupid" or "no thats not for me" attitude.

But here in the boondocks, where cornfields dominate the landscape. fit women are a rarity. I ask people "where do you workout at?" they answer "I work over at Wal Mart" or "what gym do you belong to? they say "Oh you know my cousin Jim?"

You get my drift.......if you are picky, you will have pork in hand at the end of the night. I recently broke up with a freak in bed.....yes she did anything you would see in a porn movie.....issues with her kids is what caused the breakup. Proof you can't base a relainship of sex alone.

dreww · Dec 16, 2010

lol.
a chick that 'does anything' has certainly done it before.
how do you think she got those kids.

Juggling relationship with goals

cenzo78

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The Dude

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NAIR

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MMX2

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MrMeat

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steph

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saudades

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Pharm_Fed

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cenzo78

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dreww

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The Survivor

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