NAIR
MuscleChemistry Registered Member
I wonder how many of us here in our pursuit to build our bodies are masking other problems in the process? Let me explain. When I'm on, I'm focused, depression—and usually anxiety—is at a minimum. I look good, I’m usually more mentally aware and most impotently, I, for the most part, manage to keep myself out of trouble. This isn’t to say life is perfect, I most certainly am a fucking asshole while ‘on’ and often treat those around me—so often those closest—disrespectfully. Additionally, I become almost completely indifferent to affection. But, nonetheless, life in general runs a bit smoother.
It’s when I’m in that ‘off’ state that things begin to crumble. Motivation is low, depression is high, and I don’t do much of a thing but sleep—procrastination best defines the way I handle my most important responsibilities. This is also a time when I usually “have a drink.” That drink turns into a 5th and before I know it I’ve drank 20 out of the last 30 days. My focus on bodybuilding is significantly diminished (currently I have not trained in about 5 weeks) and I find myself reemerging in the club scene, fucking hoes, doing drugs, and, and the list unfortunately goes on.
After doing this for a couple years now one thing is clear: I’m clearly better ‘on’ rather than ‘off.’ Now that’s all fine and dandy but I have to wonder if I’m simply masking a problem? Bodybuilding undoubtedly keeps me centered so to speak, especially when I’m ‘on’—I don’t go out, I don’t touch a drop of booze until I’m off (sometime 5-6 months) and most certainly don’t find myself doing recs other than some pain killers every once in a while.
So I’m kind of bearing all here. Obviously I have some substance abuse problems (alcohol) but it’s totally under control—or the least, masked—when I’m ‘on.’ How many can relate to this? Do you find yourself more productive, better focused, and just better overall when ‘on?’
If you're not a nutcase like me, how do you remain balanced when you come completely off? Please share your story or make fun of me or whatever. I'm just really curious to see if anyone else has similar experiences and, if not, how they remain level-headed when your endocrine system is completely out of whack.
It’s when I’m in that ‘off’ state that things begin to crumble. Motivation is low, depression is high, and I don’t do much of a thing but sleep—procrastination best defines the way I handle my most important responsibilities. This is also a time when I usually “have a drink.” That drink turns into a 5th and before I know it I’ve drank 20 out of the last 30 days. My focus on bodybuilding is significantly diminished (currently I have not trained in about 5 weeks) and I find myself reemerging in the club scene, fucking hoes, doing drugs, and, and the list unfortunately goes on.
After doing this for a couple years now one thing is clear: I’m clearly better ‘on’ rather than ‘off.’ Now that’s all fine and dandy but I have to wonder if I’m simply masking a problem? Bodybuilding undoubtedly keeps me centered so to speak, especially when I’m ‘on’—I don’t go out, I don’t touch a drop of booze until I’m off (sometime 5-6 months) and most certainly don’t find myself doing recs other than some pain killers every once in a while.
So I’m kind of bearing all here. Obviously I have some substance abuse problems (alcohol) but it’s totally under control—or the least, masked—when I’m ‘on.’ How many can relate to this? Do you find yourself more productive, better focused, and just better overall when ‘on?’
If you're not a nutcase like me, how do you remain balanced when you come completely off? Please share your story or make fun of me or whatever. I'm just really curious to see if anyone else has similar experiences and, if not, how they remain level-headed when your endocrine system is completely out of whack.
