Divorce Anyone?

Rep

Rep

New member
Guys,
Have any of you been thu a divorce with kids and such?? I have been married 15 years with a 5 year old boy that is my best buddy and a 15 year old daughter that hates me now b/c my wife is leaving me. In regular life, i can't complain. I'm fairly successful and have my health. I can't imagine another man touching my wife or trying to semi-raise my kids. Just looking for anyone that has had a similair expierience.
Thanks Guys
 
I went through a bad divorce, but no kids. I also didn't feel the way about my ex as you do yours. When I found out she was leaving me for an old married guy with money in the hopes of furthering her pro figure career I couldn't have cared less if she was gang banged by a group of silver back gorillas. One piece of advice I can give is to leave your feeling at the door. Divorce is business and if you take your personal anguish with you, you will get royally fucked. I had a net worth north of $250k at 25. Now I'm filing bankruptcy.
 
The Dude said:
I went through a bad divorce, but no kids. I also didn't feel the way about my ex as you do yours. When I found out she was leaving me for an old married guy with money in the hopes of furthering her pro figure career I couldn't have cared less if she was gang banged by a group of silver back gorillas. One piece of advice I can give is to leave your feeling at the door. Divorce is business and if you take your personal anguish with you, you will get royally fucked. I had a net worth north of $250k at 25. Now I'm filing bankruptcy.
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Mine was similar.
I lost nearly everything as well.
Dude is right - take your feelings out of it- if you don't you will destroy yourself and soe people never recover from it.
 
Thankfully, I was young went I went through this and so was my child. I therefore had no assets and my child was only a baby...in other words, I had nothing to loose in the way of material.

In regards to the emotional side of things, it took me years to recover and let go. Banging other women was cool but it never filled that gap I felt existed: that feeling that your family is gone and you're incomplete. But then I realized after a couple years of growth and maturity that I was much better off alone and so was my daughter. I became stronger, smarter, and, I met someone several years later who was better in every which way.

So I guess in the way of a summation, you'll be fine, though it's going to be a little bit before the wounds heal. How long is up to you and I suspect that in the end, if you don't fall in the toilete, you'll look back in five years and be very thankful.
 
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Good advice all the way around and looks like the general consensus is "time heals all wounds"
 
As Nair said, I can tell you besides the little financial crap my life is better now in every way. My girl is amazing, I love my job, and although I'm having to do a Bankruptcy, I actually have more play money now. I just refuse to keep paying on her shit for the next 20 years. After that is done my life is truly going to be 1000 times better.
 
yea, I actually BK'd myself several years back as well. I was 110% leveraged! But like Presser said, time heals all wounds (even the financial ones...if you're smart).
 
Bro I am here with you right now. 14 years and all of a sudden my wife tells me she hasn't trusted me a year. I have a 12 and 7 year old who I have all the time due to my work. I can't imagine anyone else raising them. I used to say I can't imagine my wife being with anyone else but now I say I can't imagine anyone else having to. If you need to talk bro Im always available by pm. Just drop me a line.
 
Well to top it off her attorney demands I pay 500k. I have 6 large rental props and a large home for us. I have 2 retirements and some other assets. Now before you say, oh poor you. Five of the rentals are under-water (equity wise) but they are cash flowing. So on paper which is drastically different than real world, I can be worth 2 million of in the negative by 1 million. It depends on how you look at that. My main sadness is my kids. My son (5 years old) is my best buddy and I cant go one day without my heart crushing me. I love him that much. My daughter is 14 but she temporarily hates me. I think that goes with the territory. I love my wife and the thought of another man crushes me as well. I know time will heal but loosing your family has to be the worst hit in the world. I left home at 17 years old and was homeless for 8 months. I have built a good life and nothing compares to your wife walking out and taking the kids. Anyway, thanks for all the replies. It helps!!
 
I been through it, I know how you feel. It gets easier, then harder... easier.. harder.. ad nausium. Eventually you develop a tougher skin. It hurts having one of your kids hate you. My 16 year old wont even talk to me and Ive been nothing but a really great dad to her.. cant understand it but hey, life sucks sometimes.
 
Yeh, I have sacroficed so much for these kids. I would work nights so I could be home to put them on the bus and make breakfast. I have spent many hours playing with them b/c my dad was a work-aholic and I didnt want that for them. I have done everything to raise there confidence. I have contributed a lot of money every month to a college saving plan. I make sure they have healthy foods, braces, you name it and I get shit in return. I know she is young but it still hurts. I was making great gains in the gym again after all these years and wife leaves, wants all my money and my fucking balls on a platter. I dont know wether to chew nails or cry
 
Rep said:
I dont know wether to chew nails or cry
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I can say this because I did it, but dig deep and continue to be the man you are. You'll also find out who your real friends are. I found out that CH3NO2 and one other person really cared about me. Theres nothing wrong with crying, every man does it. I did alot of it. You'll go through a roller coaster ride of emotions, hate, anger, depression, indifference, and probably alot of self pity. I buried myself in work and bodybuilding and did a show a couple months after my wife told me she was leaving. I also built my confidence back up, but probably not the right way if you know what I mean. I also went to a therapist for quite a while.
 
Dude,
Your advise and replies are very appreciated and comforting. I wish you lived close, I bet you are a great friend yo many people. Your right, great friends are hard to find. Again, thanks for caring.
 
Its ABSOLUTLY AMAZING what a female can do to a man in terms of just simply breaking us down! "Rep" bro I wish you the best in working through this and getting over it as soon as humanly possible. Also glad you opened up with this thread as Im sure we have alot of guys who have went through this type of stuff as well, plus alot of us are older guys in our mid to late 30's who can relate to your situation.
 
I'm sorry to hear this. Stay strong bro.

Thank god i have never been married and no children. Although, I want a wife and family someday. I still have a solid 10 years in me.
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Zammy and Dude, It's hard to concentrate on trianing. I can't eat. How did you guys eat?? Actually, since I have been with the same women for 18 years, I can't imagine dating. I wouldn't know how to talk to another women. I know I shouldnt be thinking about that as my kids are taking all my time with travel back and forth. I had gained alomost 40lbs over 8 months of training and now I have stopped the peptides b/c I cant eat. Anyway, thanks for allowing me to talk here. You guys are great. Thanks so much, oh and yes her and I are always arguing and it's nice to know that you and your ex are able to talk now.
 
Rep said:
Zammy and Dude, It's hard to concentrate on trianing. I can't eat. How did you guys eat?? Actually, since I have been with the same women for 18 years, I can't imagine dating. I wouldn't know how to talk to another women. I know I shouldnt be thinking about that as my kids are taking all my time with travel back and forth. I had gained alomost 40lbs over 8 months of training and now I have stopped the peptides b/c I cant eat. Anyway, thanks for allowing me to talk here. You guys are great. Thanks so much, oh and yes her and I are always arguing and it's nice to know that you and your ex are able to talk now.
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Bro, you are overwhelmed right now. The gym is a tool. It's yours. Get your head straight. I spent alot of time in the dark thinking and crying. Once I got that out, I was able to see more clearly as to what I wanted to do next. Eating was hard as was lifting heavy, so I got with a buddy that was doing a show and I did that and won the overall. Girls like a thin faced bodybuilder so I just tagged along with friends when I wasn't at home spending time in thought. Don't put more stress on yourself than you already have. Get things straight in your life and you're head.
 
good discussion.
ive never been married or had kids and truthfully, a big reason for that is because I don't want to experience what you guys have. I can name many more friends who've been divorced than are married.
 
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