****How to Shower Like a Woman****
-Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
-Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
-Look at your womanly physique in the mirror
-make mental note
-must do more sit-ups.
-Get in the shower.
-Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
-Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
-Wash your hair again to make sure its clean.
-Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
-Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red.
-Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
-Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off).
-Shave armpits and legs.
-Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
-Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure.
-Turn off the shower.
-Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
-Spray mold spots with Tilex.
-Get out of shower.
-Dry with towel the size of a small country.
-Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
-Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs.
-Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
-If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then sashay to bedroom to spend and hour and a half getting dressed.
and ...
****How to Shower Like a Man****
-Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
-Walk naked to the bathroom.
-If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo-woo" sound.
-Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut.
-Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass.
-Fart.
-Get in the shower.
-Don bother to look for a washcloth (you don use one).
-Wash your face.
-Wash your armpits.
-Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.
-Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
-Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.
-Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.
-Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
-Make a shampoo Mohawk.
-Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.
-Pee(in the shower).
-Rinse off and get out of the shower.
-Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
-Partially dry off.
-Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener size again.
-Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
-Leave bathroom fan and light on.
-Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
-Throw wet towel on the bed.
-Get dressed in under two minutes.
-Fart.
-Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
-Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
-Look at your womanly physique in the mirror
-make mental note
-must do more sit-ups.
-Get in the shower.
-Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
-Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
-Wash your hair again to make sure its clean.
-Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
-Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red.
-Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
-Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off).
-Shave armpits and legs.
-Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
-Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure.
-Turn off the shower.
-Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
-Spray mold spots with Tilex.
-Get out of shower.
-Dry with towel the size of a small country.
-Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
-Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs.
-Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
-If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then sashay to bedroom to spend and hour and a half getting dressed.
and ...
****How to Shower Like a Man****
-Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
-Walk naked to the bathroom.
-If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo-woo" sound.
-Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut.
-Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass.
-Fart.
-Get in the shower.
-Don bother to look for a washcloth (you don use one).
-Wash your face.
-Wash your armpits.
-Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.
-Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
-Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.
-Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.
-Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
-Make a shampoo Mohawk.
-Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.
-Pee(in the shower).
-Rinse off and get out of the shower.
-Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
-Partially dry off.
-Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener size again.
-Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
-Leave bathroom fan and light on.
-Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
-Throw wet towel on the bed.
-Get dressed in under two minutes.
-Fart.
