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Thread: Anal procedure

  1. #1
    footballcat's Avatar
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    Default Anal procedure

    THE METHOD

    The first thing that you have to understand is that your lady friend is going to be apprehensive about anal sex. It has been drilled in their heads, from a young age, that anal sex is a painful experience and it is to be avoided at all costs. Alot of potential candidates have been soured to the experience forever, due to the inexperience of a lover who just tried to jam their penis in their partners anus.

    I learned my method through my many experiences in the country of Turkey. It seems alot of the chicks over there are taught that they must remain a virgin until they are married. They then proceed to only give blow jobs and partake in anal sex so that they can preserve their hymen. They get a taste for anal and begin to love the experience. The anus has more nerve endings than any other part of your body so anal sex can be more pleasurable than straight vaginal sex. This is the reason that the broads in europe will try to pop a finger in your ass while giving you oral.

    I always start the method in the same manner: while partaking in doggie style sex. While in this position, the anus is clearly exposed to you. Like a painter with a blank canvas, you are ready to create a masterpiece. The most important thing that you need to understand before attempting any anal action is that the anus is a muscle. Like any other muscle in your body, it must be properly "warmed up" before partaking in any activity. It's the same reason we stretch our legs before we run a marathon. To prepare your body for the rigors of the task at hand.

    So you are giving it to your female friend in the doggie position. You always want to wait until she is really excited before attempting to begin the method. It has been my experience that chicks will pretty much go along with anything when they are at a high level of arousal. At this point, make sure you have some sort of lubricant handy. Vaseline and KY are the best case scenario but in a pinch, I have used saliva or some of my partners love juice.
    Last edited by footballcat; 04-23-2003 at 12:02 AM.
     

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    Slowly, and I do mean slowly, take your index finger and place it outside of her anus. Begin to play with the outside of her hole. A few droplets of wetness should occur in the area. Slowly, press your finger in her anus to your first knuckle, and no further. This is where you will need patience. Just leave your finger in there, as still as possible. This is the portion of the method that I like to call "Steeping like a cup of tea." Basically, your finger is going to allow for a natural relaxation of her anus. Once you have noticed her anus slightly loosening, begin to slowly move your finger around in a circular motion. Again, do not go past the first knuckle. At this point, it is safe for you to push your finger in to the next knuckle. Let it steep like tea again for about another minute until you repeat the process of moving it around in small circles. It is right about this point that your partner will start to get mildly excited about you playing with her asshole. Don't overplay your hand, my friend. It might be your first reaction to pop your finger out and jam your penis in. This would be a big mistake. Slow and steady wins the race. Slowly place the rest of your finger in her anus. After about a minute, slowly begin to remove your finger from her anus. Whatever you do, and take it from a professional, do not look at your finger. I don't care if she just got out of the shower five minutes before you started doing her, do not look at your finger. Nothing good can come from it, trust me.
     

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    After you remove your finger, look down at your partners anus. It should close up slightly, but the opening should still not collapse completely on itself. If it stays open somewhat, you know that your are well on your way to her anus being completely relaxed. At this point, you need to make a judgement call. And you must be honest with yourself. This is the part where you must decide if you should begin to loosen her up with a second finger or begin the steeping process with your penis. If you penis isn't dramatically wider in circumference than two fingers, then you can skip this next step. A good rule of thumb is if your penis is over five inches in diameter, repeat the afforementioned steps with two fingers vice one.

    At this point, you are ready to enter her with your penis. This is the tricky part. A basic rule in life is that the closest way between two points is a straight line. But not in this case. Before you attempt to enter her, drop a nice dab of KY right on her asshole. She should have a pretty good idea of what is about to happen. Exit her vagina and place the head of your penis on the top of her asshole. Apply slow and steady pressure to the top of your penis. It will slowly begin to enter her and eventually the head will pop into her anus. That is my favorite part, for whatever reason.....when the head of your penis plops in. Moving along, begin the steeping process in one inch increments of your penis until you are completely inside of her. Take a minute to gain your composure and get yourself ready for what is about to happen. There is no turning back for either of you at this point. Slowly begin thrusting. When i say thrusting, I don't mean that you start longstroking her. Begin moving your penis back and forth in the same one inch increments that you used to enter her. Once she is able to take your entire penis going in and out of her anus, you are pretty much free to do as you like. You can bear in and screw her as hard as you desire as you have properly prepared her anus for the rigors of anal sex.

    THE END
     

  4. #4
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    If this is too graphic please delete it. I dont mean any harm
     

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    LMAO, Hmmm...I wonder where you got this at?
     

  6. #6
    Harvey Balboner
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    I'll have to get my girl to read this, we have been trying to do anal for a while, but she tenses up, whenever I try to stick it in.
     

  7. #7
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    well this is the full proof procedure
     

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    both girls I've tried anal with collapsed once the 'ole purple helmet went "in" and then ran to the bathroom crying and saying their @ss was bleeding......meanwhile I'm sitting with a blue vein throbber and no where to go
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    Yup most girls dont like anal sex, or dont even want to try.......
    What piss me off is..................

  10. #10
    Badgermoon
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    Heres how a doctor told me to manage it. He was about to give me a prostrate exam when I had apendicitus. He told me to push as if I was going to take a dump as he shoved his finger in. For some reason, it makes it easier to stand it. I had to have a base-line physical to work at a govt. nuclear facility (don't want to say where, but there was some serious shit going on there). The examining doctor was known as Dr. Bigfingers. The man had huge hands. I used the advice I had gotten from the other doc, and it helped a lot. Believe me, when they are examining you, they don't use any foreplay and I was real glad I knew what to do. Tell your wife/girlfriend about this method, and it will be much easier for them to take it. I can tell you it works, and netted me some back door action on occation with the first wife. Just take it easy on the poor girl and it'll be fine.
     

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    this is a funny thread. thanks for the post footballcat.
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    wow....lets tone this down a bit tho.....sheesh
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    lmao you guys kill me look I see it like that the key to anal sex is lube with enough of it you can make anything happen ! ! it has been my experience that if you can get your girl to relax and don't try to shove it in but enstead go slow and take your time makes for a better more enjoyable first time
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    So who all has done anal?
     

  15. #15
    Badgermoon
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    me... as stated in my post. Been a while though.
     

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    Just about half the girls I have been with did anal. ANd yes, I was a man-whore before I got married and am well into triple digits.

    The other VERY important thing that this post forgets to mention, is that if you want to do anal with a chick, I found that it is best to do it on your first time having sex. Set a precedent. If you ALWAYS do it, then there is no reason for her to act like it is anything special.

    This was always one of the determining factors for me whether or not to keep a girl around. If she was cool with the anal (and at least half are if you do it right), then she could continue to come back cathin feelin's from me. If she freaked out and jumped across the room screaming holy hell, then she wasn't worth my time.

    Seemed to work out well.

    You know you found true love when you get the girls that like to fellate the post-rectal dong.

    ahh... glory days.

    good luck, trailblazers!

    -j69
     

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    ttt for everyone who missed it
     

  18. #18
    viper10139
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    I agree..very good thread..but it's very slow, me and my X did it a few times..and it was great..she wanted to..and I wanted to...and she loved it...it takes time...to get it warmed up...but when u do it's great!!
     

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    LOL, my post is helping people. Thats so sweet
     

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    I hate to be a party pooper
    The lining of the anus is very thin, unlike the lining of the vaginal canal which can withstand thrusting by a very hard penis.
    A tear in the anus lining can not be repaired..
    Serious question~ why would any straight male want to do anal on a woman if he has pussy available to him?
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    something new ...do u do missionary every time?but in all reality it is pretty gross....but if u are intimate with someone and care for the other person i see no harm in trying...

    how about a hot plate?
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    Originally posted by Sachet
    I hate to be a party pooper
    The lining of the anus is very thin, unlike the lining of the vaginal canal which can withstand thrusting by a very hard penis.
    A tear in the anus lining can not be repaired..
    Serious question~ why would any straight male want to do anal on a woman if he has pussy available to him?
    It's good to mix things up. The same thing over and over gets old.
     

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    Actually, the difference isn't so great between the mucus wall of the colon vs. the vagina. The colon has 2 layers, and the vaginal tract has 3. Both will heal if torn.

    Prevent tears to both in the same way. Heavily lubricate, warm up the muscles first and get them to relax.


    Also, Sachet, you make the implication by saying "any straight male" that anal sex with a woman is somehow gay. This is far from the truth.

    A man's attraction to another man is what makes him gay, not his physical activities. Some gay men don't even perform anal sex.

    For a man to be attracted to a woman - any part of a woman, including her ass - is very natural and quite heterosexual.

    As to why? who knows. Everyone likes what they like.

    -j69
     

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    Women are attracted to guy's asses too but it doesnt mean we want to stick something in it. :-) I that if you are complaining that a woman doesnt want to have anal sex then it's probably becuase you arent willing to let her do something different by sticking a dildo in yours first.
     

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    I never complained, sugaa. ANd I certainly would never force anything on anyone. I just moved on to a girl who enjoyed it. In my viewpoint, girls have 3 holes, and it's a waste not enjoy them all. not the same for a guy... guys are meant for thrusting... girls are meant for receiving.

    Now, I agree the guy should be willing to do things for the girl. For example, I believe if the guy isn't willing to get down there and get her ass all wet with his tongue, he shouldn't be able to stick his dick in there. BUt again, that's just me.

    Anyway, it's all good to me. I don't need anal all the time.. but i definitely wouldn't continue to date a girl who didn't enjoy it...or at least not mind it.

    Doesn't matter now, cuz my wife loves it. So, I'm set. *smile*
     

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    Ok, here is the easy guide for anal sex, ttt
     

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    FB you da man!
     

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    ttt
     

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    IM just not gonna comment this,,,,,,.........................
     

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    Originally posted by bigshug
    both girls I've tried anal with collapsed once the 'ole purple helmet went "in" and then ran to the bathroom crying and saying their @ss was bleeding......meanwhile I'm sitting with a blue vein throbber and no where to go
    LMFAO
     

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    You know Harvey wouldn't do that with his finger, but he has no problem doing it with his penis. I think that is crazy.
     

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    Default large dick

    Originally posted by footballcat
    A good rule of thumb is if your penis is over five inches in diameter, repeat the afforementioned steps with two fingers vice one.

    THE END
    holy crap - over 5 inches in diameter?????
    I think the rule of thumb then - should be - gradually insert objects that are bigger until you can fit a champaign bottle in - then she is ready for your 5 inch diameter meat monster.

    caviat - most women will tell you to jack off - you are not coming near me with that thing if your dick is anywhere near 5 inches in diameter.

    lol
     

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    You know it's kind of funny. The smallest most petite women I've ever dated liked anal the most. She could take it all anally , but made me take it easy on her vaginally as she was so little.
     

  34. #34
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    LOL, how have I missed this thread?!?
    "The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want at the moment."

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    [EDITED by ChemE] Grow up Boy!
     

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    Originally posted by footballcat
    So who all has done anal?

    with a few girls.. it takes some time to get them adjusted to it.. but once they are... they enjoy it quite a bit .. if you stimulate other areas of their body ...they REALLY get into it.

    although be warned.. when trying to talk a girl into it... they often will say "you can do it ..if i can do it to you"... ...that was a werid night
     

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    The reason guys like to do anal on a girl, or in my boyfriend's case is not the feeling, its the fact that he is fucking you in the ass, and he feels like a pimp, and yes, go VERY slow, dont just shove it in. OUCH!
     

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    when i was in high school this guy i know was banging some chick and when he went to stick it her ass she shit all over him. to make matters worse it was in somebody's bedroom at a party. to this day when you mention her name around town people go 'you mean the girl that......'
     

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    lmao thats fucking great....thats my sister,lmao
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    Its a small world after all.
     

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    lol, who is in ur avatar? is this u and no bullshitting damnit
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    it is not me, its carmen electra, my idol, I think shes hot, I wish it was me...lol
     

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    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by sugaa


    Women are attracted to guy's asses too but it doesnt mean we want to stick
    something in it. :-) I that if you are complaining that a woman doesnt want to have
    anal sex then it's probably becuase you arent willing to let her do something different
    by sticking a dildo in yours first.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    I should introduce you to my ex. she had issues!!!
     

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    Originally posted by japan69
    For example, I believe if the guy isn't willing to get down there and get her ass all wet with his tongue, he shouldn't be able to stick his dick in there. BUt again, that's just me.
    thats just sick, i just couldnt get myself around to tasting an asshole, thats something i never wanna know the taste of... that is why they invented ky jelly.
     

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    hahahaha asshole is good, try some,hahahahahahaha

    tatses like chicken,lol
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    Quote/ when i was in high school this guy i know was banging some chick and when he went to stick it her ass she shit all over him. to make matters worse it was in somebody's bedroom at a party. to this day when you mention her name around town people go 'you mean the girl that......'/ End Quote

    OMG there was this chick in HS and this freind of mine borrowed his dads truck, took her out, and ended up screwing her.

    Well when she had an orgasam she laid a big ol turd across the bench seats, and he said "why the hell did you do that" she said "I dunno it just felt good" he went on and on about how he had to pick up the log and throw it out and it took him all night cleaning and spraying to get the smell out so he could take his dads truck back.

    I almost shit MYself laughing so hard for like a week.
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    Originally posted by Presser
    hahahaha asshole is good, try some,hahahahahahaha

    tatses like chicken,lol
    not plane old chicken, but chicken with a little bit of bitter aftertaste. Of course I like to warm them up by sticking my tongue in firts...now that shows true commitment to the job at hand. AND it doesn't make you sick like raw chicken!

    WHAT A GREAT THREAD!!!!!!!
    Bilter

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    Originally posted by bilter
    not plane old chicken, but chicken with a little bit of bitter aftertaste. Of course I like to warm them up by sticking my tongue in firts...now that shows true commitment to the job at hand. AND it doesn't make you sick like raw chicken!

    WHAT A GREAT THREAD!!!!!!!
    ahhh I see....the old lick and stick, tricky tricky, takes a true vet to do this properly though, proceed with caution,lol
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    A fine bit of porno, but in the end, a total load of shit.
    The only girls I fucked up the ass were either:
    1) drunk beyond belief.
    2) on qualuudes (this is the best way).
    3) drunk and on vallium.
    4) so dulled by antidepressants that they can't come any other way.
    I'd guess that 5) dulled by heroin or pain killers works too. But I wouldn't know.
    It's an interesting idea when you're 20 and you've never been there. After that it's just crap.
    You need a really good lube, but there's better ways to have sex.
    She's got enough shit up there - do you really need to be a part of that?
    (a prize to whoever counts the most puns in this post :-)
    - n
    On the other hand I do have a tendancy to eat 'the whole thing'. LOL.
    Sometimes I talk like I do steroids, but I'm just trying to fit in. In reality, I don't use, own, or condone steroid use. Furthermore, all medications, including anti-e's, HCG, HGH, insulin, diet aids, etc. should only be taken under the supervision of a licensed physician.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sachet
    I hate to be a party pooper
    The lining of the anus is very thin, unlike the lining of the vaginal canal which can withstand thrusting by a very hard penis.
    A tear in the anus lining can not be repaired..
    Serious question~ why would any straight male want to do anal on a woman if he has pussy available to him?
    duh.. I agree. There's nothing like a nice pussy.
    (btw - nice pun
    Sometimes I talk like I do steroids, but I'm just trying to fit in. In reality, I don't use, own, or condone steroid use. Furthermore, all medications, including anti-e's, HCG, HGH, insulin, diet aids, etc. should only be taken under the supervision of a licensed physician.

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