Why Marriages Don't Work???

I think a lot of it has to do with a commitment to the marriage at the beginning. A lot of people, albeit not very smart people, will rush into marriage while not thinking about life in 1,5,10 years. I think many people make foolish decisions to get married when they are not ready and possibly with the wrong person. They are not ready to commit to someone for the rest of their lives. Of course there are other causes, cheating, complacency, financial, etc...but I think it all boils down to commitment. And not just to making your marriage work, but to making your spouse happy consistently. When you love someone you want to do what's best for them and make them happy, life easier, better, etc... I think people have fallen in love a little with the idea of getting married and don't really want to make a commitment to put their spouse 1st for the rest of their lives. So, I think that would be my answer. A major portion of the marriages that fail I believe come from people being selfish. If you care about someone enough to put them first for the rest of your life then I think you should consider marrying that person. However, other things need to be worked out like finances, religion (big one in my opinion), future plans, etc...

I have definitely had my share of rough times with my wife and we've both done things to each other we've regretted, but we've made it through them and I believe it's because in the end it's because we both want to see the other happy and we are commited to making our marriage great, not just good or managable, but great.

Well put Spiderman. Pretty much explains why my wife fucked around on me. Selfishness and lack of commitment.

at my age, and couples near my age, I see complacency being the problem. I've seen so many people get married that are my friends and their marriages fail. Cheating may be a problem with younger couples, but I think complacency is a bigger problem. They date, move in together, get accounts together, get married, have a kid...then....well you've done it. but your only in your 20's? Not your 30-40's like your parents were when they reached all those goals. what to do now? start all over. Get a divorce, start whoring around again, sew your "wild oats" again, meet someone, start dating, move in together, and you know the rest.

i say why get married? I know many couples that did fine until they got married. couples that move too fast, usually crash too fast.

To me it's simple. It is easier to say "fuck it" and split up then to stick around and
make it work. IT'S HARD WORK to make a marriage work. With, what is it , 50%
of marriges failing, its no big deal.

mcgaret said:

To me it's simple. It is easier to say "fuck it" and split up then to stick around and
make it work. IT'S HARD WORK to make a marriage work. With, what is it , 50%
of marriges failing, its no big deal.

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lmao! so after all, the answer is that people are just fucking lazy. Thats the american way!

mcgaret said:

To me it's simple. It is easier to say "fuck it" and split up then to stick around and
make it work. IT'S HARD WORK to make a marriage work. With, what is it , 50%
of marriges failing, its no big deal.

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Totally agree! People don't like to work at anything anymore, everyone is so fucking lazy these days. Marriages take a lot of work. Just being in a relationship takes a lot of work. I'm getting married in October so I will let you all know...

My wife used to say "this is too much hard work" - I've been married 16 years and
its like anything else - you get out of it what you put into it. I dont WANT to go
to work every morning - I dont want to TRY and save $$$ - I dont WANT to pay
bills and it would be easier NOT to put effort into my marriage. You do the things
you have to , to get the things you want. (it does get easier !!!!)

mcgaret said:

My wife used to say "this is too much hard work" - I've been married 16 years and
its like anything else - you get out of it what you put into it. I dont WANT to go
to work every morning - I dont want to TRY and save $$$ - I dont WANT to pay
bills and it would be easier NOT to put effort into my marriage. You do the things
you have to , to get the things you want. (it does get easier !!!!)

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Im not married nor will I be for a while, but I totally agree with this. You do what you need to do and what you dont really want to do in order to make a relationship work. This goes with anyone (spouse, friend, employer, etc.)

Here is an article I found that shows that divorce rates are at its lowest in over 30 years though This is a great sign!


Divorce on the decline
National rate hits lowest level since 1970

Courtesy of AP GraphicsBank

Posted: Friday, May 11, 2007 at 10:35 AM

NEW YORK (AP) -- The notion that America remains plagued by a divorce epidemic doesn't appear to add up.

The national per capita divorce rate has declined steadily since its peak in 1981 and is now at its lowest level since 1970.

But there are different theories as to why. Some experts say relationships are as unstable as ever, and divorces are down primarily because more couples live together without marrying.

Others say the divorce rate is falling substantively among college-educated couples but not among less-affluent, less-educated couples.

America's divorce rate began climbing in the late 1960s and peaked at 5.3 divorces per 1,000 people in 1981. But since then it's dropped by one-third, to 3.6.

(Copyright 2007 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

http://www.hoinews.com/news/news_story.aspx?id=35030 (This is the link)

Sorry mcgaret! I accidently hit edit instead of quote so it looks like I changed your post! I fixed it though! LOL Im a retard sometimes

I totally agree with mcgaret.It is easier to say "Fuck it" and walk away. It does all boil down to people being lazy shitheads

I've got 99 reasons not to get married and not a single reason too.
and yeah people are lazy, I've dated too many "girls" in the past that think that Mr. Right will come along and EVERYTHING will be perfect and they won't have to work for anything-yeah and good luck winning the lottery

furthest I'll ever go is having a girl move in with me and when things suck she can walk out with what she walked in with

Bump dorian!! dont let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!!

check out the thread Dorian123 and I had a conversation, this was a thread that went back and forth between me and NVS for a few days...just goes to show the frustration a single guy can have in the dating world

wow... you guys have bad luck with women...

because woman get to the friend zone and dont want to fuck no more. dont get me started.

yep its all about the vag

hector said:

because woman get to the friend zone and dont want to fuck no more. dont get me started.

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That line sucks, and it's not hard to cross that line. It's all about when you strike; if you wait too long to make a move then they're going to just see you as a friend and not a potential partner. Made that mistake a few times and kicked myself in the ass for it cause the girls would find someone else before I made my move. After that I decided waiting was no loner an option LOL

Gimmie that vag! LOL :saywhat:

damn looking back on some the shit that I have wrote on this board, I am an asshole...AND MAKE NO EXCUSES FOR IT :moon:

seriously though I've been seeing this girl for over 6 months now and she's talking about marriage and all that...
granted I do have more in common with her than anyone else that I have ever dated but DAMN!!!

in this day and age marriages really don't work so do I really want to set myself up for a fall?
that and I bore easy, starting to get bored now...nothing wrong w/ her it's just me :bored:

oh well I'll loose a little sleep over it and a ton of money :wave:

dorian123 said:

in this day and age marriages really don't work so do I really want to set myself up for a fall?
that and I bore easy, starting to get bored now...nothing wrong w/ her it's just me :bored:

:

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ya know, I think Im the same way. I do get bored easily.
one reason I will never get married. Even if I found the right girl, I sure as hell aint the right guy.

marriges r tuff and i vowed to never cheat on my lady like my biological mom did to my biological dad she fucked so many dudes while my dad was at work and hed come home and shed be like nothing happened i know i was a little dude seeing all this but till this day that dumb fuck loves her and there in there 70s i guess, and there together, but any way ive been with my women for 15 yrs , my eyes never strayed. until, yah it sucks, until this chick crossed my eyes and yah i fucked her, and my marriage has been in a whirl wind ever sence. but my wife still says she wants us together and doesnt want another person in her life, but i feel i fucked us up and at times its hard on her and she brings the other lady up. and this lady still tries to hold on. and wait to see if we dont make it. shes a rich bytch this other chick and whats strange, is that, they have alot in common, that i like. and im torn between them both now. and i love the heavens out of my wife but i feel sooner or later the towel will b throwen in. on whos part that i dont know. and i dont want to be like so many others just give in but id like it to work out and carry on, im a competitive body builder and my wife is not and doesnt work out but this other chick works out and looks great but my wife is a hot mother fucker also. lifes a trip sum times and we stumble and fall but sum get up but sum stay lamed for life.i believe id b the lamed 1 who would hurt forever if we lose eachother. shit fuck damn mother fucker fuck shit, fuck. thats how i feel