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01-29-2017, 09:09 PM #1
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Get me off this binge Rollercoaster!
Keeping it short but a little background...
Over the fall my mom got real sick with her cancer and wound up in hospice and dies a month later ...day after Thanksgiving... leading up to her death and now 2 months past been using binge eating as a form of stress relief. It turned into a habit I can't break.
Everyday is groundhogs day. I wake up and say today is the day. I eat perfect all day. And I am rock solid with proper mindset. But after dinner I go from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde.... complete different mindset. I become completely self sabotaging. I will eat ridiculous amounts of peanut butter....and whole bars of chocolate...and not even really be hungry.
The only good thing is its natural PB and organic 85% dark chocolate...both of which offer health benefits. But eating 6 to 10 tablespoons and a whole bar of chocolate is an absurd amount of calories.
After I am full to the point I am in pain I feel pissed off for doing it. And depressed.
I gotta stop ! My abs are disappearing and I should be eating tight now to get ready for the spring/summer.
Ideas? Thoughts? Looking for some support guys..Last edited by first blood; 01-29-2017 at 09:11 PM.
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01-29-2017, 09:19 PM #2
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First my condolences brother can't imagine. Get out of the house go to the gym go to the park. If you have a bike ride it you need to find something to do until it's time to go to bed. You say all day long your good and I imagine your days are full of activities job whatever it might be but at home in the evening you have developed a pattern you just need to break. Again I'm sorry for your loss
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01-29-2017, 09:36 PM #3
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Thanks ! I appreciate that.
Yeah definitly a pattern. I'm busy all day and my mind is focused on all I need to do. But I guess at night I'm shutting it down and I relax. I mean I can't keep running around. Gotta unwind right. But it seems that's when I'm weak.
I have tried eating more healthy food and feel full and I still eat the other stuff! It's like I have to.
So doing some reading .... eating like this....PB and chocolate or for other people it's junk food... it sets off a dopamine response in the brain. Sugary foods are known for this and why they can be addicting.
I wonder if it's the dopamine I'm addicted to. Cause I am seriously full but I don't feel satisfaction. It's f×cking weird! Never had this happen.
I also realize this may be very well how people going through a hard time fall into drug abuse or alcoholism. Which I have no probs with.
Compared to drugs or alcohol this ain't shit. A drug addiction would seriously laugh at me. But I am not happy with this situation
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01-29-2017, 09:40 PM #4
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01-29-2017, 09:44 PM #5
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So basically what your saying is break the pattern. The buck stops here. Just make it happen.
I get that. But it's really tough. Like I said, it's as if I'm another person at the moment.
Well tomorrow I will have to step up to the plate...
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01-29-2017, 09:59 PM #6
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01-29-2017, 10:03 PM #7
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Well somethings gotta give so I guess that band aid is coming off.
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01-29-2017, 10:08 PM #8
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01-29-2017, 10:11 PM #9
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U sound just like me right now. I just mentioned it in thread about anything but chicken.
I do good all day I get home eat dinner after work. I am starving whole way home wife always has it cooked by the time I get home if it's 4:30 or later.
After supper kids snacks, since Halloween candy all night, those huge bags of M&M's with zip top. Wife got a bunch on sale I ate all of them every bag. All night long I go pee and grab hands full. Wtf!!! I can go on forever it's been bad.
I decided I was gonna break this and enough is enough. Leaving it alone. Tonight I ate two Oreoes and leaving it alone.
I am getting it together. I have some gw I may start using because it seams to help with my appetite suppress it after a week or so. Prolly from favor of burning stored fat rather than calories.
I decided I am gonna do a recomp lean bulk. With mast, sust, and a-var I will use I will have to clean it up. I have until now the time I fully start and esters kick in to have some of this fat cut to use my gear like it should be used. This is how I made my choice. I committed to these compounds!
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01-29-2017, 10:15 PM #10
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01-29-2017, 10:27 PM #11
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And I am sorry for your loss!
Keep the good memories u have and know that our loved ones just want us to be happy!!!
I guess it's depression with me too. Chocolate is my biggest weakness right now too.
I am a mechanic in oil field and since the Ebony hoax last year oil field crashed after that scare didn't keep that oil from coming out that area and country.
Around my parts people all lost their jobs, alot are living in campers holding on at some bullshit job.
I held on to my job but we at 35 hours a week and me and my family's life style has been used to 58-70 hours a week alot of overtime for as long as I knew.
I normally do stuff on side mechanic work but all gaps have been filled with layoffs that nothing is on side.
Hopefully Trump does something which it looks like he is making some waves. I live where I am watching our oil and gas go under and if these country's of terrorism watch us get out of production they can cut us off and hit us hard before things regroup. Just saying!!!
First Blood, THIS IS THE DEAL BUDDY! I will clean my crap up and get out of this funk and rise above this and get back my confidence and drive for live so let's do it together!!!
No more excuses we gotta be strong for our family and want our loved ones to know we pushing on to that place that may not be where we are right now but a foot in right direction everyday we will be headed there!
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01-29-2017, 10:36 PM #12
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01-29-2017, 10:39 PM #13
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We work too hard to let ourselves go to he'll in a hat over some chocolate or PB!
I never heard the term Ebony hoax...I am aware of the dismal situation in the US oil industry.
I'm gonna Google ebony hoax and read up.
Not many people here on the east coast talk about this issue
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01-29-2017, 10:45 PM #14
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I am in same boat as u right now. Different pain same struggle.
Spring is coming up we gotta think of the days getting longer and being able to have time to get more done outside. The winters and short days get to me along with tough times.
U gotta know or think of it like this, your mom would've wanted u to be all u could be at doing the things that made u happy!!!
My wife lost her dad then a year later her step dad. She was close to both and I have stood by her side even though she has taken alot of it out on me. I just try to be positive for her and she is finally out her slump after the last few years.
Start doing all the things you want to do with your Daugher. We gotta think of the fun we can have this spring with our kids and be active with them. Bring them do and see the simplest fun things that are amazing to them. Sometimes we gotta push ourselves aside and think of others and be of service to them. We can get out of ourselves. Let's do this buddy!!!
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01-29-2017, 10:47 PM #15
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01-29-2017, 11:59 PM #16
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You said it right MM!
Tomorrow is day one and if you mess up I'm not letting it go easy bro...and I expect the same from you!
We don't need luck ... we need some focus and discipline.
Let's crush!
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01-30-2017, 12:00 AM #17
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01-30-2017, 12:08 AM #18
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It's on!!! Just leave the sweets alone.
I am planning on having fat free yogurt and honey bunches of oat as snack after dinner. I always eat before 6 so hungry again at 8.
I also will start getting up and hitting gym before work. Leave home at 5:15!
If doing this I wanna give myself time for good workout and do it only with protein in my tank but for igf pump I will either carb up or figure something out.
Also wanna be wore out at night to sleep early less cravings.
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01-30-2017, 12:09 AM #19
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Brother, you hit the nail on the head in your previous post describing the similarities to alcoholism and drug addiction. And believe me, I have known some overeaters whose food addiction is just as life threatening as a drug addiction or alcoholism. I realize you're not there. But it does happen.
So, what you're doing is a coping mechanism. You are undoubtedly grief stricken over your mother's passing - and, in my usual clumsy way, I neglected to offer my condolences. Please accept them. I suggest you need to find a way to deal with that grief. Which probably means talking to someone about it, and probably more often than you want to. You can't get a handle on the binging because it's a symptom, not the root problem.
Where I'm coming from: I'm a recovering alcoholic. Been sober over 30 years. And before anyone tries to pat me on the back for that, consider this: taking credit for that would be like taking credit for running out of a burning building. I'm not bragging, I'm simply demo strating that I know from experience what an addiction is like. What it feels like to be out of control. To WANT to stop doing something but can't help myself. People like me who have the disease of addiction need to go through a process to get to "causes and conditions", deal with those, make changes in our lives and continue with maintenance. I'm WAY over simplifying in order to keep it brief. I'm thinking in your case, since you're not an addict/alcoholic and you have recognized this pattern and already more or less connected the dots (drug addicts/alcoholics typicall don't until they're WAY beyond "just stopping"), if you deal with the things from which you seek escape, you'll be fine.
So, maybe find a therapist. Lean on some close friends. Bend their ears. Do whatever you gotta do to face your grief and deal with it. Or whatever it is. Maybe there are other stresses or issues, or whatever.
You're not weak if you identify something that's causing you pain and deal with it. That is strength. Weakness is pretending it's not there while hiding in a bottle; a needle and spoon; or a peanut butter jar! Lol!
There's my 2 cents. Hope it helps.Muscle mechanic thanked for this post
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01-30-2017, 12:15 AM #20
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I am also a recovering alcoholic and addict for 10 years i have been sober. I take no pain meds at all and have had surgeries without them. I was addicted to them. But I learned that I had to become a good man, a good member of society, someone I can live with. I am not perfect but I can deal with who I am and I had to accept the things I did and face them for what they were.
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01-30-2017, 12:22 AM #21
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I just remembered something: my sister-in-law went a support group for surviving spouses, I think it was, after her husband died a number of years ago. That could be your answer for a place to deal with your grief. I bet if you look, you can find such a group.
I realize it's awkward to bare your soul to a group of strangers. But my experience as an AA member is that it is extremely helpful to do so with people who share a common suffering. Check it out.Muscle mechanic thanked for this postMuscle mechanic, thudgens96 liked this post
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01-30-2017, 07:33 AM #22
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EMW14 you provided some pretty good insight about things...you too MM!
Your past experience is literally priceless. Going through something like you guys did and being able to share it with someone like me is already helping me. I can feel it.
I went to sleep with a better outlook and woke up feeling better able to deal with this.
Definitly glad I spoke up !
The one thing I am sure to do is get my workouts in and I feel like I'm on top of the world when I do. Then the end of the day I'm dismantling my hard work.
I AM grief stricken and I'm trying to force myself to move on faster than I should and bury it.
MM I suppose you have alot on your mind and plenty of anxiety and at the end of the day after dinner you are sitting in the house with your thoughts.... but you don't want to burden your family too much... so you find your way to those food treats to cool out .
We are both stuck in rut but there is a way out. This is good cause I'm done with this.
First thing is I'm gonna talk to my wife about this. She keep asking me if I'm feeling ok and I keep saying yes but she knows. So that will help . I don't need to be a tough guy for her anyway lol!
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01-30-2017, 07:39 AM #23
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I am going to eat Greek yogurt with agave... if I need a chocolate fix I will add protein powder. Also a few cups of green tea may help.
I also think some sugar free jello will come in handy... I just have to dig deeper when that urge comes in for PB.
I am a PB Crack head. My favorite meal is Spicy Thai chicken with peanut butter sauce. ! So it sounds silly but I have to go cry in the corner and detox from my PB ! LOL.
Goodbye my evil little buddy.
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01-30-2017, 07:48 AM #24
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It's not just the PB that is the issue either. It has to go on something crunchy . If all I have is celery that's fine but I use so much PB I can't taste the celery. Also putting it on pretzel rods or rice cakes. But I will eat 4 rice cakes with heaps of PB. Then a half hour later do a bar of dark chocolate and feel like I'm gonna burst. So figure 800 cals of PB and 280 cals from rice cakes and then the chocolate bar at about 400 I think. That's 1480! Then half a carton of almond milk ...so over 1500 cals ! That's after eating 5 or 6 times. So way to much surplus. That's like an extra 7000 to 10000 cals a week!
Holy sh/t!
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01-30-2017, 09:03 AM #25
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First blood, I eat Peanut Butter like crazy. I eat it table spoons at a time here and there almost daily. I use it for energy fuel and fats. I don't do many carbs especially when on clean diet but that diet I use pb. I do better with fats higher than carbs. I am starting my diet and it will contain lots of meats few carbs and plenty fats. This works for me and I can eat a such as I can tolerate. Lol
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01-30-2017, 09:08 AM #26
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I used to smoke when I was younger cigarettes. Then I dipped. Now I use an electronic cigarette menthol flavor. Not a big vapor thing. Just that little vuse electronic cigarette. I am addicted to nicotine, caffeine, stimulates. I also take adderall it's a script. I have adhd and can't think with distractions. To the point without my meds I have to wear ear plugs to get paperwork done just if other people are talking quietly in office.
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01-30-2017, 09:16 AM #27
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Well PB is not the worse thing right! But it's gonna have to be stopped for now. I really need to be able to eat snacks like PB and dark chocolate in moderation. Not binge till I can't breath!
I had a formidable 6 pack last summer. At 43 I was looking fit.
Now I have the midsection of a bloated dad bod! Lol
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01-30-2017, 09:18 AM #28
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I lose my six pack too. Right now abs are visible but just a faint appearance under layer.
It's the loose skin I don't like. As long as I am completely tight I am happy
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01-30-2017, 09:28 AM #29
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01-30-2017, 09:32 AM #30
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But first blood I will say this because u said at 43 u look fit. I am 40 and I have and still do look better than 20 years Olds or whatever several times a year.
This is my motivator I don't wanna look good for 40, I wanna look as good as anyone of any age. Not the most built or better, but on a physical level and a totally fit one.
I wanna be able to do anything a 20 years old can and more
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01-30-2017, 09:33 AM #31
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That's exactly my frame of mind!
We both know we have to work at it... that's why I was so down. Cause I put in the work to sabotage later! I'm sick of that
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01-30-2017, 09:34 AM #32
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At my job especially when I am lean. I always stay with muscle but when at that real good point when the 20 year old punks are playing their games their bullshit messing with me, I say ask your woman is she thinks I am hot. I say I don't want to bang them and wouldn't do that to u buddy. But just ask her, her opinion. They shut up and stop with the crap. Lol
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01-30-2017, 09:38 AM #33
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01-30-2017, 09:49 AM #34
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Gentlemen, after reading the thread one thing that you need to keep in mind is that you are dealing with underlying issues and not just over eating. Depression is real and it is nothing to be ashamed of at all. During the day, we can keep busy and keep our mind active on other things, but it is when our day starts to wind down and our mind begins to wonder the tendency to emotional eat is very common.
The one thing that I have found to help me, is reading. I try to keep my mind as active as possible in the evening. If I just veg out and watch TV, I will end up snacking. If I read articles on my iPad or even just pick up a book and read, I will have a less likely tendency to snack.
Just my 2 cents. Good luck brothers.
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01-30-2017, 10:15 AM #35
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I agree. In myself I am have let my job get me down and financial situations. But I still am hitting gym still under 13% body fat so indulging in sweets could be a craving but I also had came off a blast and that usually does it. For 8 weeks or so I have cravings for sweets.
I believe first blood is here still working out he spoke up to us his brothers so that is first step in letting things go that we keeping inside.
I believe he is mourning the loss of his mom, around holidays is tough to lose someone also it's hard. I haven't heard him speak of wife and not being married losing a parent can be tougher because of support by your side.
What u are going thru first blood is absolutely normal. U gotta be strong and push forward. It is a fact that when we lose someone our brain produces less dopamine and If we stay in the state of sadness for too long it can cause a chemical imbalance in our brain and cause clinical depression.
Let me tell yall this.
I take adderall for adhd
I take buprenorphine for my opiate tolerance and addiction being sober 10 years
I take lexapro for anxiety and depression
I try to make changes in behavior that will force the mind to follow.
We gotta push and get ourself where we need or want to be by getting up and heading there even if it's a foot in right direction everyday. It doesn't matter if or when we get there as long as we heading on path that's all that matters.
We have to admit our wrongs.
We have to accept the way things are that we cannot change
We have to live in a way that we can stand
We have to live by our morals out standard we set
And we have to grieve our loses before we can accept them it's a process
We also have to know it's ok to express our feelings and we have to know that not everyone in this world will use out pain against us.
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01-30-2017, 10:36 AM #36
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Guys once again you are delivering some great stuff to this convo and I really appreciate it.! This is gonna have some pivotal change on me I think.
I talked to my wife this morning cause she has been on eggshells with me and alot of what you guys said helped me get the words out to her... I was able to articulate what's in my head.
She was very happy and relieved cause she was feeling out of sorts with me.
So if nothing else changes at least I talked to her and I feel that we reconnected.
So that was a side effect too and look things are already on the upswing.
I feel more able to deal with things now.
Really appreciate it guys
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01-30-2017, 10:46 AM #37
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Ok so your are married?
I am type of guy that I leave no body hanging. That's just how I am. I can't help everyone I world but those that I can I will never turn my back or pretend I don't see.
It helps me to help others. The saying goes with happiness or love for life is that we can only keep it if we also give it away!
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01-30-2017, 10:49 AM #38
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That is what Family is for brother. The Brotherhood of Iron. I had t shirts made with that on it.
Last edited by drtbear1967; 01-30-2017 at 11:46 AM.
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01-30-2017, 11:03 AM #39
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First blood I have faith, I am a faith hope kind of person. Things will change for u. U lost your mom. That impacts up in a big way. U gotta talk about your feeling with your loved ones it's ok. And understand sometimes they may be bold and unsympathetic and say get over it and what not!
We all have stronger connections to certain people and we are only ones who understand this.
But we gotta know that our kids our wife, girlfriends or who ever is depending on us as men to be strong and lead the way. It's ok to feel hurt and sad but we can't let it keep us down. We gotta grieve and if talking about certain things makes us cry, then talk about them to who is in your life and cry let it comes out. That isn't a weakness it's being human and having a heart. U will get through this. We are here for u, but let your loved ones be too. Let them know what's going on keep communication about what u feel don't keep any of it inside.
And just so u know I believe that our loved ones we lose know we sorry for the things we never could set right before losing them. In that place they go they can see into our hearts and know. It's not them we gotta worry about anymore because they forgive us, it's us that gotta forgive ourselves. They way I do it is I make a commitment that I will start living different and being a better man!
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01-30-2017, 12:20 PM #40
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01-30-2017, 12:36 PM #41
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I really don't mean to keep thanking myself have a lazy thumb I guess. Drtbear could be right as far as underlying conditions but if you were good up until your mom passed. Then I believe what your going through is 100 % natural. Your in mourning. Hell I don't want to even think about what I will be like. Brother I don't know if you believe in god and I would never push my beliefs on anyone. But the bottom line in what I believe . Is get your but to church prayer and faith can overcome any obstacle.
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01-30-2017, 01:17 PM #42
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01-30-2017, 03:44 PM #43
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Very happy to read this. Thanks for saying so. Having a good wife in your corner is huge. And ain't it strange that the ones that love us and that we love the most we push away, intentionally or unintentionally.
I'm sure she was happy to hear your troubles and lend an ear. And it drew you twp closer. That's fantastic!thudgens96, Muscle mechanic thanked for this post
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01-30-2017, 03:57 PM #44
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I'm sorry for your loss, brother. May her memory be forever a blessing.
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01-30-2017, 03:59 PM #45
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01-30-2017, 06:31 PM #46
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First blood, on my way home from work. I hit gym this morning before work. I did good today tonight I will eat the kinds of stuff EMW posted in chicken thread. This man had been eating good and clean. He don't need protein shakes for any reason let me tell u! Lol!
I will do supper low carbs will eat mostly meat don't know what is cooked. I am grateful for my wife dinner always done.
After supper I eat early today will be around 5:00. I will eat yogurt and granola or honey bunches of oats. I will use carbs in mornings up until lunch after that each day as little as possible only good ones except what's in my yogurt or cereal and low fat milk.
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01-30-2017, 06:48 PM #47
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Sounds good MM... I just ate my dinner. Grilled chicken with onions & peppers and asparagus and to substitute for a potato I baked an acorn squash.....has the same consistency as a baked potato.
I already have yogurt with chocolate protein powder waiting for when Mr Hyde shows up. Lol.
I'm gonna read emw thread and see what the hub bub is all about.
One other thing... I almost slipped earlier today when I was food shopping... but I caught myself !
Stay strong tonight and think...abs abs abs!
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01-30-2017, 06:50 PM #48
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01-30-2017, 06:53 PM #49
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01-30-2017, 06:59 PM #50
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