75 Reasons You Know You’re A Strongman

[Iron Game]

1. You were surprised when the movie Hitch didn’t have a single deadlift in it
2. You thought Mr. Incredible’s name should have been Bill
3. You can press as much overhead as you can bench
4. You see heavy construction equipment and wonder if they would let you have on of the tires
5. You keep a harness and chains in the bedroom. For pulling semi trucks.
6. You tell people your sport is like crossfit, but for strong people.
7. Your idea of warming up for a lift is walking up to the implement and lifting it to see how it feels
8. You press your significant other for reps.
9. You consider welding a basket to a prowler for extra conditioning while shopping
10. While on vacation you pick up heavy things just to see if you can
11. You buy meat and eggs by the case.
12. When asked if you are having a BBQ, you reply “No man, I’m just stocking up on meat for the week”
13. Your primary requirement for a grill is the square footage of the cooking area
14. You take in more protein in a day than the RDA for a family of 6
15. You choose your vehicle based on how well it fits your car deadlift frame
16. You have pictures of your record breaking lifts on your desk instead of your family
17. You tacky up to pick up a watermelon
18. You show off your tacky bruises as proudly as bruises from actually lifting something
19. You would rather be under the bar than at one
20. You think SHW is 300+
21. You have thrown a 50 pound rubber salmon for distance
22. You use straps for a 315 deadlift but use only chalk for a 350 pound farmers walk
23. You train events for 6 hours a day on weekends while your friends won’t train for more than 45 minutes 3x a week for fear of going catabolic
24. You paid more for your plates, racks, and implements than you did for your car
25. You fluctuate 30 or more pounds between heavy contests and conditioning base ones
26. Its easier for you to stand up with 600 pounds on your back than it is to get up from the couch
27. You use horse liniments
28. You wear a squat suit during a meet and no one calls you a cheater
29. You worry buying stock in a dairy company before purchasing weigh could be construed as insider trading
30. You consider going to a Renaissance fair to pick up leather gauntlets for stones
31. You can’t drive past a scrap yard without stopping in to see if they have anything you could make an implement out of
32. You know what I mean when I say implement
33. You tacky up to go bowling
34. You think sumo deadlifters are cheating
35. You can’t remember your spouse’s birthday but you know who won every WSM
36. You think OD Wilson was robbed in 1990
37. You worry you’re dangerously close to becoming a crossfitter because you don’t think OD Wilson was robbed
38. Contests are just another training day
39. You do direct arm work to prevent injury
40. You do core work to become more stable
41. You squat because its awesome even though it’s hardly even an event
42. You immediately know what people are referring to by the Big Z polar bear pic
43. You chalk up to carry the laundry basket
44. You know 18” deadlifts aren’t an ego lift
45. You know how to perform a continental clean with an axle
46. You know better than to try a continental clean clean with a regular barbell
47. You can muscle snatch an ATV
48. You were disappointed that the TV special on Vikings didn’t include Jon Pall Sigmarsson
49. You deadlift 7 times a week
50. You enjoy not having to wear a singlet to compete
51. You know the difference between the Wessels Rule and the Kessel Run
52. You googled Kessel Run and now think I’m an enormous nerd
53. You look up people’s names on NAS to find out if they even lift
54. You eat a pre-dinner snack in case the restaurant portions are too small.
55. You consider the Smith machine your private towel/coat rack. Not only is this convenient, but it prevent others from boarding the fail boat.
56. You know that ammonia is an acceptable morning coffee substitute on days when you’re really struggling.
57. You always carry spare underwear.
58. You keep baby wipes, baby oil, chalk, and baby powder in your bag at all times
59. You have no need to be a poser and “act” scary. You are scary
60. You have no need to be a poser and act “tough”. You are tough and have proven yourself at competitions
61. You would rather have a gift certificate to IronMind than GNC
62. You take your shoes off to deadlift
63. You hold records in max deadlift, deadlift for reps, 18” deadlift, axle deadlift, axle deadlift for reps, car deadlift, car deadlift for reps and most wings eaten in 30 minutes at the local pub.
64. When you pick something up at work you have to remind yourself not to wait for a down command
65. You think chucks aren’t an ideal shoe for meets.
66. You spend more on NAS dues, meet fees, and fuel to travel to meets than you do on rent
67. You wonder why it takes two people to unload a keg full of beer
68. You have 12 egg whites every morning. And twelve egg yolks. Only small people skip the yolk.
69. You can pull a semi truck but balk when your wife asks you to move a heavy box for fear of pulling something
70. You think competing outside during a thunderstorm is pretty normal.
71. You think spinning collars on a barbell are cheating
72. You can lift odd shaped objects without hurting yourself
73. You use your sick days because you can’t get out of bed after a meet, but still manage to get to the gym that night
74. You care about the argument over who was better between Jon Pall and Kaz
75. You know something that should have been on this list!