Wife Joke

S

scorpio

Guest
I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women
differ so much.

And I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing.

And, I never have figured out why men think with their head and women
with their heart.

And, I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets
thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT?" So she says the words that I and every husband on the
planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her
emotional needs as a
Woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realize that
nothing is going to happen that night, so I went to bed.

The very next day we went shopping at a big unnamed department store.
I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She
couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them.
She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 each to which I
say "OK". And then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have
thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she
cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet
because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I
told her that it was "OK." She was almost sexually excited from all of this
and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go, let's go
to the cash register."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I don't
feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face
... it went completely blank. I then said, "Really honey! I just want you
to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial
needs as a Man."

I figure that I should be having sex again sometime during Spring
2018.
 
LOL, I would love to see the look on a womans face after that.
Priceless !!!
 
It would be great, but the aftermath would be severe. Of course they always seem to be upset with something we're doing, so might as well go for it. You know your way to the dog house I presume?
 
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