Morgan1
New member
Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse is taking her sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples carts
when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at
5 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official
tone:'Code 3' in House wares . . . and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's
on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other
shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the
bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and
ask. "Why can't you people just leave me alone?
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror
and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the
clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
the theme from "Mission Impossible."
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker,
assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those
voices again!!!" And last but not least:
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while
and then yell loudly "There's no toilet paper in here!"
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples carts
when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at
5 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official
tone:'Code 3' in House wares . . . and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's
on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other
shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the
bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and
ask. "Why can't you people just leave me alone?
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror
and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the
clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
the theme from "Mission Impossible."
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker,
assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those
voices again!!!" And last but not least:
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while
and then yell loudly "There's no toilet paper in here!"
