Post a joke and see if it beats mine....
- Thread starter jaywooly
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TomSizeMore
New member
One day a man's son comes up to him and says "daddy, what does a womans vagina look like"?
Thinking for a moment the father says "well, son. before sex it looks like a beautiful rose, so so beautiful".
so thinking for a moment, the son says "ok daddy, but what about after sex"?
With a coy look on his face the father replies "hmmmmmmmm, well son remember when our bulldog Beefy got into the mayonnaise jar"?
Thinking for a moment the father says "well, son. before sex it looks like a beautiful rose, so so beautiful".
so thinking for a moment, the son says "ok daddy, but what about after sex"?
With a coy look on his face the father replies "hmmmmmmmm, well son remember when our bulldog Beefy got into the mayonnaise jar"?
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TheElmo
Guest
A body guard goes up to George Bush and sais '' Mr. President, I have horrible news. 6 Brazilians were killed in an accident. Bush lowers his head and sais ''Oh no, thats the worst news i have ever heard, thats horrible. As the body guard walks away Bush calls him and sais. "by the way, how many is a Brazilian?" lol
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TheElmo
Guest
this one may not be as funny because its a long joke and i had to leave out some parts.
A man was tired of being lonely and one day decides he will buy a pet to keep him company. So he walks in to a pet store and starts looking at different animals. Then he runs into a perrot. The perrot starts talking to him and the man is amazed how smart the perrot is. The man asks what else can you do. Well sias the perrot i speak 3 different languages i know alot of jokes and can keep a conversation going for ever. Than the man sais, i would buy you but $200 is too expensive. Then the perrot tells the man well you see i don't have any legs so if you offer the store owner less money he will agree because no one else whants to buy me. ok, sais the man but first let me ask you a question if you have no legs how are you holding on? Well sais the perrot, i am embarassed to say that i have my willy wrapped around the perch and thats how i hang on. So the man buys the perrot takes him home. Two weeks later the man is happier than he has ever been. the perrot taught him how to speak different lanaguages showed him how to be funny and confident and even helped him get a girlfriend. One month later the man comes home from work and looks at the perrot the perrot has a sad look on its face. The man asks the perrot what is wrong. The perrot said i have to tell you something about your girlfriend. What? the man asks. Well the mail man rang the door bell and she let him in. And what happend said the man. They started kissing said the perrot. Then what next? The mail man kissed her on her neck said the perrot. What happend after that? He took her bra off. Then what? He started sucking on her tits said the perrot. Well what did he do next yelled the man. Then the perrot looked at him and said DAMNED if i know i got a hard on and fell of my perch!! :satan:
A man was tired of being lonely and one day decides he will buy a pet to keep him company. So he walks in to a pet store and starts looking at different animals. Then he runs into a perrot. The perrot starts talking to him and the man is amazed how smart the perrot is. The man asks what else can you do. Well sias the perrot i speak 3 different languages i know alot of jokes and can keep a conversation going for ever. Than the man sais, i would buy you but $200 is too expensive. Then the perrot tells the man well you see i don't have any legs so if you offer the store owner less money he will agree because no one else whants to buy me. ok, sais the man but first let me ask you a question if you have no legs how are you holding on? Well sais the perrot, i am embarassed to say that i have my willy wrapped around the perch and thats how i hang on. So the man buys the perrot takes him home. Two weeks later the man is happier than he has ever been. the perrot taught him how to speak different lanaguages showed him how to be funny and confident and even helped him get a girlfriend. One month later the man comes home from work and looks at the perrot the perrot has a sad look on its face. The man asks the perrot what is wrong. The perrot said i have to tell you something about your girlfriend. What? the man asks. Well the mail man rang the door bell and she let him in. And what happend said the man. They started kissing said the perrot. Then what next? The mail man kissed her on her neck said the perrot. What happend after that? He took her bra off. Then what? He started sucking on her tits said the perrot. Well what did he do next yelled the man. Then the perrot looked at him and said DAMNED if i know i got a hard on and fell of my perch!! :satan:
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winneevee
New member
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed
quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the
garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into
a torrential downpour.
There was snow mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50mph. I
pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that
the weather would be bad throughout the day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my dumb-ass husband is out
fishing in that shit ."
quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the
garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into
a torrential downpour.
There was snow mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50mph. I
pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that
the weather would be bad throughout the day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my dumb-ass husband is out
fishing in that shit ."
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