Wife/Significant other's response to your increasing size

Okay, here's a question for you all:

How has your wife/significant other reacted to your growing muscles? Does it repulse them after a certain point? Do they love it and want more?

I need some advice because my wife has begun to express dislike for my size. If anyone here has watched the show "Sell This House" on TLC, there is an interior designer named Roger Hazard, and he is one big guy though he also has a big gut to go along with it. My wife has started to compare me with him saying my arms are starting to look like his though I am in no way close to his size (I'm not really a big guy. My arms are just pushing 18 inches--Roger has to have at least 21 or more). Perhaps it's just my shape that reminds her. Anyway, she does not want me to get any bigger than I am now (205 lbs). I'm hoping to get to at least 215-220 in the next 10 weeks. That's a significant difference in terms of size. I love her and don't want to lose her, but I thought I had made it clear that I was going to train for this sort of goal when we got married just over seven years ago. What would you do in this case?

i am lucky enough that my significant other doesnt care how big i get as long as i am not a fat fuck...she knew from the begining that i wanted to be a mass monster and is just plain happy as long as i am not beating up strangers or sleeping with farm animals

Do you think she would really leave you, after 7 years, just because you got to big for her? I mean, she has invested a lot of time and energy in this relationship which she obviously wouldn't have done if she didn't love you. I would probably talk to her about why she doesn't want you getting bigger. I mean the alternatives are that you stop trying to get bigger and just maintain (which in my opinion can be death for someone who is not satisfied with where they are @). This could lead to other problems in your marriage because you are unhappy that she forced you to make this choice.

What would she say if you quit lifting all together? What would probably happen is that you would keep your current appetite, stop working out and getting much bigger than you are now, but you would be fat. I don't think she'd like that very well.

Are you training for a show? Have you ever thought about entering one? This could be a reason she might understand for wanting a little more size, especially right now.

I honestly think I would go ahead and put on the weight and if she threw a fit about it, I would say ok because to me 7 years of marriage is worth sacrificing for. However, I would make sure she knew exactly what she was asking me, how much in meant to me, and how much I hated doing it but that I was doing it for her. Now, I say all of that with my wife in mind. I also say that with the idea in mind that you will two will be able to work out your relationship and not let this effect it too much. However, it's important for her to understand that this is a lifestyle change she is asking of you.

Also, how is she with your using? I know there are a couple of threads about this, but I wonder if this is her way of saying, I want you to quit using without directly asking you to. I don't know, just a thought. Sorry this post is all over the place, I'm just writing things down as I think of them. I hope some of it helps.

Good thoughts, Spiderman. I'm not training for a show, and perhaps she may forgive me after I pack on the size. As far as how much she knows about me using, well, she knows I'm on HRT which I have to be on--that's it. She doesn't know about anything else. If I were to tell her I'm using anything else, she would leave for sure. It can be hard to gauge things with her because she has a different mind set than women have here (she's from Brazil).

I'd certainly be unhappy if I had to stop training or just maintain without reaching my goal. Hopefully it will all work out.

Anyone else have good or bad experiences?

i feel this subject is one of those things thats best to deal with early in the relationship...and not later.

guys put it off until they are married, and afraid the woman will leave if they find out they use. Kinda a little late to be worrying right?

I let my girl know from the beginning. Not necessarily that I used, but that I clearly had no problems with using. Also that my life revolved around eating and training. She saw it on the table before she took the seat.

show her a pic of some skrawny fucker in the Calvin Klein ads and tell her that after you get big you'll diet down to look like one of them

after you get big see how she reacts
my exgirlfriend was the same way but when i got to 230lbs with a bit of a gut (looked like a small linebacker) she actually liked it better than when I was wrestling at 205lbs-this was 5 years ago
now I'm 240lbs with a six pack, if I met her now I don't know how she would like this look??? :upset:

I can't imagine why women would complain about too much size. I force feed Fonz to make sure he can't fit into anything... Then i can go shopping


lol


nvs

body2see said:

Drop your bodyfat while you are gaining the size and I highly doubt she will have a problem with you gaining size.

Click to expand...

I'm probably about 9% right now so if I can manage to get a little further, I'm sure you'd be right.

*N.V.S* said:

I can't imagine why women would complain about too much size. I force feed Fonz to make sure he can't fit into anything... Then i can go shopping

lol

nvs

Click to expand...

Lol

I'm sure that if I were to lose my size she'd realize she liked me big. It's like my goatee--when I shave it, she actually hates it because she's seen it on me forever. I will just keep going and let things go as they may.

Thanks for all the replies.

Been married for almost 16 years. Some things you do for you and some things you
do for both of you. In my case my wife realizes I do 90% of everything for her and
my kids, she is really cool about the certain few things I do for me. Sometimes I
have to remind her and she realizes how selfish she can be. I dont ask much for
myself and am not chasing other women but I need "MY" thing to be true to myself.
Then again I laid this out to her when we first started going out. About the gotee,
My wife bugged the hell out of me to cut mine off - I did it for her birthday - she took
one look at me and said "you look funny!"
Bottom line - I do this for me not her. If this one small thing I wanted is
enough to break us up I'm probably married to the wrong person.
Also you can show her some pictures of some 280-300lb monsters and
by comparison you'll look small.

only thing my wife doesnt like is the negative comments I get when were in public,

Do people actually say negative things to your face? I don't get any of that, but I certainly get a lot of people staring at me. My wife actually thinks that part is funny.

Its Always Indirectly, But Said So I Can Hear It For Sure

that sucks bro, sorry you have to put up with that bullshit. It's too bad people are so ignorant. Lance Armstrong used to say, "People ask me what I'm on, I tell them on my bike 6 hours a day. What are you on?"

I'm looking forward to getting swole up and in shape again for the summer so people can start wondering and I can tell them it's a dedication to a lifestyle of health and fitness and if they got off their fat asses and did something about it they could look this good too. Well maybe not as good as me but they can try

smart ass comments deserve smart ass answers.

i can hold my tongue about half the time. the other half is every man for himself.

But I dont get too many comments. Im not freakish huge. usually its comments about other things but I still got plenty of smart ass replies lined up.

Perhaps you and your wife has resolved this issue but in my opinion: men and women aged at a different rate where women tends to age faster than men (most of the time not always) and they tend to be more concern about it than most men; I think women get insecure about relationships/marriages especially when men are appearing more youthful, attractive and have more endurance. A lot of women sees a loss of a few pounds for themselves is sufficient and usually marks their goals by previous dress sizes, where men are more to judge by less fat, more muscle. I would explain my goal is to be healthier, have more energy, and be pleasing to my mate's eye and you feel this method works for you and her. Now, I realize this may not be your case but in my observation, it seems to be the case. good luck!

You make a good point. My wife is currently 25 lbs overweight--not obese though. She complains about it from time to time, and I always tell her she needs to go back to the gym. I guess it is hard for her to make enough devotion to constantly work out hard enough. When she was in college, she had no problem with weight, so perhaps that's why she has a hard time. Now she has to work for it but hasn't quite made the commitment yet.

At this point, I just constantly reassure her that I love her and that I chose her. I also tell her that I want her to be happy with herself and be healthy as well so I support any kind of effort to go to the gym. We're working on it.

I'm working on getting my wife to the gym as well. She could lose some weight and get into shape. She just signed up for twice a week Yoga classes which I was happy to see. Not breaking any weight loss records by taking Yoga but at least it's good for you. She also signed up for NutriSystem and got a shitload of meals and food, snack, etc. delivered to the house. Not the method I would of took to lose weight and get in shape but I support any effort she makes.

It's most likely a jealousy issue. You are getting more attention so it upsets her. Natural reaction for most women and men.