cloudstrife1218
MuscleChemistry Registered Member
I've been doing a bit of reading on how peoples choice of bodybuilding has effected their relationships. Here are a few that I found to be pretty interesting. Feel free to include your own experiences as well.
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it has definitely had an effect on my relationships, both personal and professional.
As for professional, I get much more respect from people that I work with now then I used to before. I actually had one former boss give me grief about spending time at the gym because he wanted me to spend the extra hours at work even though I was already working 55 hours a week anyway.
And when I was job hunting I got a lot of interviews but got passed over for inferior candidates because of my weight. I actually know of a case where a person who was a former co-worker got picked over me for a position with a new company even though my experience level and performance were much better than his. A mutual friend told me the decision was definitely weight-related.
Now people see me working out every day, eating healthy and making changes to my body and they have been nothing but supportive and respectful.
I've also met a lot of cool people at the gym that know what I am going and have offered a lot of encouragement. Having cute women flirt with me is certainly an ego boost.
As for home life, my family has been very supportive and my 5 year old son has noticed what I am doing and has started talking about wanting to go to the gym to get big muscles. He knows who "Arnold", "Ronnie", and "Jay" are and has started eating his meat & vegetables and drinking his milk so he can get muscles like them.
My wife on the other hand....
She is the reason I stopped working out originally and gained all that weight. She refused to let me go to the gym. I finally told her that I was choosing working out over her, that I was going back to the gym regardless of what she thought and she could leave if she wanted to. She actually turned around and became supportive of my efforts once she started seeing the results. She has now started cooking healthier food for all of us and started going to the gym herself. And where before she would hardly ever let me touch her, now she can't keep her hands off of me, but it's too late because I am no longer interested in her and it's now me who rejects her when she wants to get some. I guess turnabout is fair play. I have to say that 90% of my motivation is to get into killer shape and then replace her with someone hotter and younger than she is. Living well is the best revenge...
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I believe that the overall satisfaction that I get from moving iron helps me in every aspect of my life both buisness and personal. When I am in the gym I have a quiet confidence at work and with clients and I believe that shows and helps. As far as my personal relationship, my wife has a hard time understanding why I do what I do but she understands that it makes me a happier person and that is enouph for her, she does not always beleive in the same things that I do but we always believe in each other and that is enouph. sometimes she will say "you need to lift". She likes it when I get big because she looks smaller (ha ha ha), She does not like it when I got really big about 3 years ago. She likes me at 6'3" 250lbs she was not fond of the 275lbs version "you look mean and you don't have a neck!" Not to mention shopping for clothes sucks. If a women loves you and cares about your happyness then it should only make things better. Perhaps I am the acception not the rule? I do not know how the sense of accomplishment and confidence recieved by working out can ever be bad for a relationship it has helped me in mine and I hope to be telling this story when I am 35, 40, 50, 60 and forever. I am going on an all inclusive vacation to Mexico and I called to see if they had a weight room, they have cardio equipment! I will take a taxi to find a gym!
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Good question. I've had 4 serious relationships over the past 8 yrs since I started my fitness journey.
First...met in the gym....he was a powerlifter. Also, a juicer which I wasn't concerned about. We lifted together which was cool but I had to do cardio alone. He didn't do cardio at all. The relationship ended because of his cocaine use not steriods. That and because of his cocaine problem (which I found out about AFTER he moved in with me) I supported both of us. Not good. Believe it or not he dumped me to go back to his ex (a really big fat girl who never worked out) because not only would she support him but she supplied his coke habit.
Second, met him in the gym as well. We had the same story...very overweight at one time, shed lots of bodyfat, got hooked on bodybuilding. Problem? I think he's gay but doesn't want to admit it. Almost no sex and damn I was hot if I have to say so myself. (Still am of course...LOL) It was like shooting pool with a rope, if ya get my drift. Plus, all the other signs...he used more hair products than me, shopped more than me, mannerisms, was a great home decorator. When he changed his name from Bob to Bobby and started hanging out with his friend "Ricky" a lot, I knew it was time to move on.
Third, I was totally head over heels in love. He was a tall, skinny guy fresh out of the Navy. No muscles whatsoever. But he was totally in love with me and had me on a pedestal. I ate that up. Problem? He is an alcoholic who couldn't/wouldn't stop drinking and ended up in a car accident which landed him in prison. In the time we were together, he totally supported my bodybuilding, however, he never participated. I went to the gym alone, trained alone, ate clean while he ate crap. I was ok with that cause ya know I was on that pedestal and all. Bodybuilding made me special in his eyes so it was easy to keep to my goals and live the lifestyle.
Fourth (and current), we were very good friends for almost 5 yrs before our friendship turned into more. It was one of those things where one of us was always involved with someone else so we never hooked up. He's involved in bodybuilding and had come from being the fat guy to the buff guy...same as me(only I'm a girl). So we have that in common but I question if it's enough. We're very different. Different to the point where it seems we clash on everything except bbing. It feels like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. I guess it's true that you never really know someone until you live with them.
My ideal? Someone who is into fitness, preferably bbing, has the same moral values as me, same intellectual level and lets me be me without expecting me to change to suit them. I don't expect someone to change for me so why should I have to change for someone else? And if he puts me on that pedestal and makes me his princess, I'll make him my king.
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it has definitely had an effect on my relationships, both personal and professional.
As for professional, I get much more respect from people that I work with now then I used to before. I actually had one former boss give me grief about spending time at the gym because he wanted me to spend the extra hours at work even though I was already working 55 hours a week anyway.
And when I was job hunting I got a lot of interviews but got passed over for inferior candidates because of my weight. I actually know of a case where a person who was a former co-worker got picked over me for a position with a new company even though my experience level and performance were much better than his. A mutual friend told me the decision was definitely weight-related.
Now people see me working out every day, eating healthy and making changes to my body and they have been nothing but supportive and respectful.
I've also met a lot of cool people at the gym that know what I am going and have offered a lot of encouragement. Having cute women flirt with me is certainly an ego boost.
As for home life, my family has been very supportive and my 5 year old son has noticed what I am doing and has started talking about wanting to go to the gym to get big muscles. He knows who "Arnold", "Ronnie", and "Jay" are and has started eating his meat & vegetables and drinking his milk so he can get muscles like them.
My wife on the other hand....
She is the reason I stopped working out originally and gained all that weight. She refused to let me go to the gym. I finally told her that I was choosing working out over her, that I was going back to the gym regardless of what she thought and she could leave if she wanted to. She actually turned around and became supportive of my efforts once she started seeing the results. She has now started cooking healthier food for all of us and started going to the gym herself. And where before she would hardly ever let me touch her, now she can't keep her hands off of me, but it's too late because I am no longer interested in her and it's now me who rejects her when she wants to get some. I guess turnabout is fair play. I have to say that 90% of my motivation is to get into killer shape and then replace her with someone hotter and younger than she is. Living well is the best revenge...
- - - Updated - - -
I believe that the overall satisfaction that I get from moving iron helps me in every aspect of my life both buisness and personal. When I am in the gym I have a quiet confidence at work and with clients and I believe that shows and helps. As far as my personal relationship, my wife has a hard time understanding why I do what I do but she understands that it makes me a happier person and that is enouph for her, she does not always beleive in the same things that I do but we always believe in each other and that is enouph. sometimes she will say "you need to lift". She likes it when I get big because she looks smaller (ha ha ha), She does not like it when I got really big about 3 years ago. She likes me at 6'3" 250lbs she was not fond of the 275lbs version "you look mean and you don't have a neck!" Not to mention shopping for clothes sucks. If a women loves you and cares about your happyness then it should only make things better. Perhaps I am the acception not the rule? I do not know how the sense of accomplishment and confidence recieved by working out can ever be bad for a relationship it has helped me in mine and I hope to be telling this story when I am 35, 40, 50, 60 and forever. I am going on an all inclusive vacation to Mexico and I called to see if they had a weight room, they have cardio equipment! I will take a taxi to find a gym!
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Good question. I've had 4 serious relationships over the past 8 yrs since I started my fitness journey.
First...met in the gym....he was a powerlifter. Also, a juicer which I wasn't concerned about. We lifted together which was cool but I had to do cardio alone. He didn't do cardio at all. The relationship ended because of his cocaine use not steriods. That and because of his cocaine problem (which I found out about AFTER he moved in with me) I supported both of us. Not good. Believe it or not he dumped me to go back to his ex (a really big fat girl who never worked out) because not only would she support him but she supplied his coke habit.
Second, met him in the gym as well. We had the same story...very overweight at one time, shed lots of bodyfat, got hooked on bodybuilding. Problem? I think he's gay but doesn't want to admit it. Almost no sex and damn I was hot if I have to say so myself. (Still am of course...LOL) It was like shooting pool with a rope, if ya get my drift. Plus, all the other signs...he used more hair products than me, shopped more than me, mannerisms, was a great home decorator. When he changed his name from Bob to Bobby and started hanging out with his friend "Ricky" a lot, I knew it was time to move on.
Third, I was totally head over heels in love. He was a tall, skinny guy fresh out of the Navy. No muscles whatsoever. But he was totally in love with me and had me on a pedestal. I ate that up. Problem? He is an alcoholic who couldn't/wouldn't stop drinking and ended up in a car accident which landed him in prison. In the time we were together, he totally supported my bodybuilding, however, he never participated. I went to the gym alone, trained alone, ate clean while he ate crap. I was ok with that cause ya know I was on that pedestal and all. Bodybuilding made me special in his eyes so it was easy to keep to my goals and live the lifestyle.
Fourth (and current), we were very good friends for almost 5 yrs before our friendship turned into more. It was one of those things where one of us was always involved with someone else so we never hooked up. He's involved in bodybuilding and had come from being the fat guy to the buff guy...same as me(only I'm a girl). So we have that in common but I question if it's enough. We're very different. Different to the point where it seems we clash on everything except bbing. It feels like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. I guess it's true that you never really know someone until you live with them.
My ideal? Someone who is into fitness, preferably bbing, has the same moral values as me, same intellectual level and lets me be me without expecting me to change to suit them. I don't expect someone to change for me so why should I have to change for someone else? And if he puts me on that pedestal and makes me his princess, I'll make him my king.
nice pic btw good proportions