I have some input, might not be much but. The only pc depression I suffer from is knowing I lost 10lbs in a few weeks while eating like a horse and working out constantly and taking clomids and all the other shit. That sucks, your still 10lbs up, but your 10lbs down too. Suck it up. All, and I mean all 3 of the cycles I ever did were gained back, within a few pounds! Took a while but I bounce back. Three or four months with proper diet. Can't wait? As far as the other shit? Testosterone is a powerful drug my man, I can tell you that. I don't condone any other shit. Some will take antidepressants, I don't but then again they may suffer more than I do. I don't feel on top of the world either but oh well. I see it as just another tough few months to get by. Not like I have never been there before. In your world your a rich man loosing a fortune man! Take a step back brother, take a step back. Your just a rich man posting a buck to gain two. The real failure starts when you throw in the towel bro.