Dude, you posted this for help yet you have excluded your REAL issues. It takes a big man to post and ask for help. Ive come to know you over the last year and feel that a lot of this is work related and most important, Dude related. Your a very tough guy on the exterior but if I know you,, Your really soft hearted and easily upset. I have been on too many therapist couches over the years and went through several life expierences. Many of which Im not proud of. It takes a toll on a person's soul. Feel free to PM me or REALLY dump your issues here. A few guys on here are the real deal.