Off subject, Do i look Horrible??

[Rep]

Ok, I have developed huge shoulders and most people look at them and they look jacked. My upper body has come along real nice. I'll post a pic but everytime i try, it sayd the file is too big. I'll keep trying. Anyway, Im going through a horrible divorce and my wife saw me at a swim meet for the kids and her and the other coaches couldnt stop satrring. Then I got a letter to be tested. I called her and she said I look disgusting and gross. She said its not attractive and everyone is laughing. Now, yes I still love her terribly and that hurts more. I havent been this big in 10+ years. Do people really think that a bodybuilder look is horrible?? Have things changed in main-stream?? I got sooo depressed. My friends (men) say i look great. Some women have said that Im getting too big. 10+ years ago, I never got this. Is it bc of the media and the juice talk??
I want to get bigger and I know that i shouldnt care what they say but coming from her it does hurt. Donta sk me why I still love her. I was married to her 15+ years. She hates me and I wish i could get over her but I just cant.
Thanks

 

[leo8013]

I dont think that any of us are going to change how you feel about her. That will just come over time. Its a big change in your life and how you live and no one, unless you didnt care for her at all would feel the same way. She is gonna be spitefull in any way possbile. Its gonna be hard but try not to let it bother you and if it does bother you dont let her find out. She is doing it just to be an ass. She knows what you have a passion for and you are excelling at it so she is going to try and knock you down. She doesnt want to see you happy. But to answer your question about how people think about it. You are going to have a crowd of women who always like the body builder shape. Men will always want to be bigger, its in our DNA. But yes I do 1000% agree that the media is trying to change things. I think hey believe that testosterone is a bad thing and trying to make guys more feminine in looks. If you are big with muscle you are stereotyped as dumb. Even though you are at your healthiest, body is most effecient, and in terms of nutrition the smartest person out there. We have scientist now confirming how our eating habits are right on and the way we train is correct. With 65% of the US population obese screw what she thinks about that and do you.

 

[glycomann]

I don't know what happens to women but they can go from adoring you one week to hating you to the nth degree the next. She will try to hurt you any way she can. She wants to see you suffer and never be happy again. I guess in some way that validates her as caregiver and supporter that you can't be happy without her. Men, almost invariably, want to go easy on their wife through the whole separation/divorce process. We go for years solving their problems, propping up their egos and supporting their emotions in attempts to make them happy. When the bottom drops out maybe we feel failure? I don't know. It's tough to get over. Probably the best thing you can do is approach all interactions with her logically and objectively and attempt to remove all emotion from the equation. Emotion is their major weapon. On the divorce side you are going to have to hit back hard and learn to watch her lash out. What was the "letter to be tested"? Was that for a steroid test? I would say deny it if at all possible or at least delay it until you can clear your system or get a script. AS an aside, it might make you feel better and infuriate here if you were seen by one of her friends with a younger more attractive woman or two but obviously, if separation has been less than a year and infidelity could be used against you, this would be a bad idea.

 

[meow]

Divorce is tough bro.. no ifs and buts about it. You can look the best you've ever looked and the other person could tell you that you look like shit. All you can really do is smile and take it one day at a time. Continue to focus on your well being and let time do the healing. It wont be easy as you already know.. but what else CAN you do?

 

[The Dude]

Some good advice in here. As far as your feelings for her, eventually you will get better. You are obviously still in a bad place and not going out and enjoying yourself as a way to recover. You'll find attractive sexy women LOVE the muscular look. The ones that don't are self conscious and who gives a shit what they think. Bodybuilding is more than just looking good. It's an outlet, it's a sanctuary, a place that is only yours that you draw pleasure and confidence from. Really did you think she was going to tell you her friends thought you were hot?!
We've talked about this before and I know we will again. You are still climbing out of a very deep hole. During that time I gave off the impression that I was a self absorbed ego maniac to over compensate. It worked.
As far as women not liking the muscular look, my new wife, every girl I know, and most girls I come into contact with love it. I went to my grandmothers funeral a few months back with my new wife. I was with my uncle and his wife and some of their friends. They are a decade older than but very pretty and VERY WEALTHY. after the funeral my aunt texted me saying that when she went out for drinks with her friends all they wanted to talk about was "the hot muscular guy" even after seeing how beautiful my wife is.
Things will be hard for a while. As mentioned try to keep your emotions out of it.

 

[Rep]

Thanks

Thanks guys. It really hurt when she looked at me with a disgusting look and told me I look horrible and soemthing is not right. She accused me of USING and is having a judge order testing with a pysc eval. That will cost 5k to defend and go thru. Its not the money but when someone you loved for 17 years and still love says that i look digusting and everyone is laughing, ... It has a sting to it. I know that in time I will heal but we have kids and that feeling of thinking about another man fucking her is KILLING me. Mornings and nights are the worst and I need to keep busy.
Love is a killer. Im sure the guys here can understand that thinking about another man fucking her is the worst thought ever. I keep saying, "wtf are you going to do when you see her with a guy??". I feel like Ill beat the shit out of them. Then I go to jail and loose custody.
Anyway, thanks for the feedback. very much feel better knowing you guys are helping

 

[dorian123]

bro, I know this is easier said than done-but after you sleep with a few more women you will forget about it all...

and don't worry about seeing her with another guy chances are you will be with another girl at the time

 

[CH3NO2]

Sounds like to me she is just being vindictive and saying things to try to hurt you. If you want my .02 fuck her. Fuck what she says, fuck what she thinks. It doesnt matter. If she is willing to cheat and whats other things then let her go. There are waaaaaayyyyy too many other women in the world.

Only thing that matters is what you think. Also on what grounds does she have the authority to have a judge order a drug test? Why is this important?

 

[Ox 51]

I've never heard a woman say the like the bodybuilder body. Everytime I show any woman a picture of any bodybuilder, it's the same reaction, "That's so gross." Same thing when I started telling friends that I was going to a bodybuilding show this weekend. Branch Warren is on the flyer and they all said, "That's gross, please tell me you don't want to look like that."

But, your wife in particular was probably just trying to hurt your feelings. Or, she thinks you are on steroids and she believes all the crazy things she's heard about them and is afraid for her children. You have to understand how the general public looks at steroids these days.

 

[The Dude]

Also on what grounds does she have the authority to have a judge order a drug test? Why is this important?

I agree. I've never heard a steroid test being of any relevance in court. That's just flinging shit.
Just to give you the worst case scenario, if your ex is fit she will get primary custody. If you test positive for steroids and arent bright enough to say you take Boladrol and Superdrol (both legal) and you test positive.... same outcome, but she is out the money for the HPLC test.
As far as her being with another guy.... it's better that it happens because she chose to end the relationship than her doing it behind your back. She is your past.
If I saw my ex I would probably thank her for what she put me through. My wife is the most incredible, beautiful, supportive, perfect woman in the world. It was all worth it. Keep your faith that you are a good man and will be rewarded. I was certainly rewarded!!

 

[MMX2]

Ok, I have developed huge shoulders and most people look at them and they look jacked. My upper body has come along real nice. I'll post a pic but everytime i try, it sayd the file is too big. I'll keep trying. Anyway, Im going through a horrible divorce and my wife saw me at a swim meet for the kids and her and the other coaches couldnt stop satrring. Then I got a letter to be tested. I called her and she said I look disgusting and gross. She said its not attractive and everyone is laughing. Now, yes I still love her terribly and that hurts more. I havent been this big in 10+ years. Do people really think that a bodybuilder look is horrible?? Have things changed in main-stream?? I got sooo depressed. My friends (men) say i look great. Some women have said that Im getting too big. 10+ years ago, I never got this. Is it bc of the media and the juice talk??
I want to get bigger and I know that i shouldnt care what they say but coming from her it does hurt. Donta sk me why I still love her. I was married to her 15+ years. She hates me and I wish i could get over her but I just cant.
Thanks

if you want to post a pic- PM me and I will give you my email so I can resize and post.
Thanks.

 

[Rep]

Thanks

I am cleaning out my receptors and will get a test myself to show my doc and get a cream for low levels. In my state, if either party asks (custody involved) for testing, the judge will always sign it bc if they dont and something happens, then they look bad. I dont blame them actually, (judge that is). It just sucks.
As for still loving her,.. I dont know why. It just hurts like a mofo. Its been 8 months since she has left and I think about it all the time. We have 2 kids together, so that makes it hard also. Trust me, I wish I didnt love her. Time will heal.
Oh, thanks, when I get home I'll send my pic to you and yes please size it so it fits. This was my last pic about 2 weeks ago. i was making some serious gains.
thanks guys!!!!

 

[big in vegas]

They sell steroid cleanses man if you're looking at going that route. As far as getting over her, I can't help you there, never been with a girl for more than 4 years so I don't know what to tell you there