doing a full cycle with (almost) no sex???

Ok, this started dominating all the other threads I was posting in, so I figured I'd just start one of it's own.

Yeah, I'm at the end of my 9th week of my cycle, and have had sex a grand total of 1 time! Pretty frustrating... especially considering that for over a month prior to my cycle, I had very little interest in sex, and for the 8 weeks prior to that, I was on 200mg of cyp every other week, which had my test levels roller-coastering, and prior to that, my levels were low too.

My wife and I have been having some sort of marriage problems for awhile, mostly I didn't really notice that they were more than temporary things... She'd be mad at me, or we'd have (usually) a pretty minor fight, and then things would be fine. The no sex when I really was in the mood thing kind of drove the problems home.

We're actually going to a counselor now (we both decided to), and we've talked quite a bit about stuff... She's under a lot of pressure right now as she's working full time and taking 8 hours of really difficult classes... She really wants to go to medical school, and so is really pressuring herself to get incredible grades and stuff. We have 2 kids, etc. We were already planning on her going back to school full time in the fall, and either not working at all, or only working part time. Her current job sucks in just about every way, and she is completely bored there. I've told her she needs to quit, but for some reason she won't. She finally took a month leave of absence today (till the end of finals for the semester), so hopefully that aspect will improve some.

As we talk, and as we see the counselor, things do seem to get better, but still no sex, which is incredibly frustrating. The worst part is that she tells me she has no interest, yet I know for a fact that she's been "playing by herself". It took me awhile to talk to her about that, because as I realized it, I really started paying attention to signs that it was happening and felt like I was spying on her, etc. Anyway, it's hard for me, as a guy, to understand how if you aren't interested in sex, you can still be interested in masturbation. And of course, knowing that she is doing that had me thinking she might actually want to do something with me, which had me not want to masturbate myself, just in case she wanted to do something. I wasn't sleeping very well, wanting to be "available" just in case, etc. I think most of that is cleared up, and I'm trying my hardest to give her space now, and not interupt any by herself time, or whatever.

Anyway, that's basically my story in a nutshell. I am feeling a little better about things, just really frustrated knowing that my cycle is ending soon, as probably will my sex drive (unless my natural levels somehow improve with the post-cycle therapy to above what they were beofe my cycle), which is doubtfull to me since I'll be cutting.

Anyway, thanks for all the kind words from everyone!

bro, i lost a woman after cutting way down like you did, she didnt feel like she was good enough for the new me, i hope things work out for the best, but nothing will chang until she is honest with you about what the problem is.

Hang in there man. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe this part of the rollercoaster might make your relationship stronger. Good luck with everything.

Tuff situation bro, life is to short to be going to bed lonely. I think you need to just talk straight. I think she has to understand you have needs, she has to see you love her if you've stuck with her thru 9 weeks of solitude. If she loves you and doesn't have the desire for sex maybe she could offer you her hot friend or her Hot sister to make it right with you. Sorry to make light bro, I am feeling for you and hope something happens for the better soon.
aybe one of th ladies here could give you better insight.

I would beat my meat in bed until she came to her senses,lol, ya know swing it around, slap it all loud until she got horny! maybe even aim a squirt at her

I've had similar problems bro. I work 60 hours a week. You'd never know it becase I work 20 hour shifts and don't sleep sometimes. My wife also works 40+ hours, and is going to school, online, to get a veterinary tech liscence. We also have two kids that we love to death, but kids need constant attention. We're usually so damn tired that, sad but true, neither of us are in the mood. It sucks. I know that we've both, took care of ourselves, to get over the hump. It's insane to think someone wouldn't. I'd more than likely be in jail for homcide if I didn't. Talk to her about it, you've transformed yourself so damn much, maybe she's intimadated. I've seen your before and afters. Maybe just something to talk to the counselor about.

Hang in there my friend- I am married with 2 children as well- sometimes we tend to let life, work etc get the best of us. Kudos for going to a marrige professional-Anything worth having is worth working on- Thats just how it is. My .02

good luck

hmm i suppose my suggestions have been overlooked.

lol @ presser. Actually, I suggested that to her, and she flat out said no.

WeirdAl said:

lol @ presser. Actually, I suggested that to her, and she flat out said no.

Click to expand...

no shit bro, i thought i had a sure fire solution there,lol the squirt usualy closes the deal for me anyhow,lol

And thanks for all the support, everyone. I am glad we are talking about it, and going to a counselor. The most frustrating part at this point is having good talks, feeling like things are improving elsewhere in our relationship, and still having this aspect as bad or worse than ever. That, and anticipating my declining sex drive as I come off.

Al, a lot of this sounds very familiar to my recent marriage. At first she wanted it every day, at least once. I heard all the nice compliments of how good it was and how much she loved me. Then soon she lost interest. Not just in sex, but in our marriage too. I started getting the feeling I was an unwanted guest in her house. (I had moved 1500 miles to be with her). Got to the point that we went for 3 months once without any sex. Nothing I could do or say helped. In the end, she decided to divorce me (her 4th... red flags eh?)
If she is willing to do councelling that is a major help and sign that she is at least concerned, but only if she is serious, and not just going through the motions.
If she is getting off alone, that doesn't sound good. I hope you are able to talk it over openly with her, maybe with the councellor. I hope things get better for you Bro. That is really a tough situation to go through, especially when you really care about someone and want to be desired by them.
you're a good person, and I hope the marriage gets back to being a blessing for both of you, and not a source of anguish.

AL, I'm going through exactly the same thing as you....two kids and all. Wife never seems to be interested unless she's drunk, and then I can't fight her away.......lately, I've been paying attention to specifically what she wants from me in terms of the relationship and it seems to be working. I usually offer to do things for her that I can swing into a sexual situation......she's been falling for it lately

Problem is, we go from one week with things great, to a knock-down-drag-out the next where she's telling me to leave the house.......next go 'round, I'm gonna make sure I marry Sarah Orbanic - even if I can't have sex with her, as long as I get to see her naked, that's enough

All I have to say is hahahahahaha heheheheh all I have to do is ask and I get it! lol Sorry man had to rub it in...I like presser's suggestion hell if that dont work next time you do get it on w/her donkey punch her one good time! Ok now on the serious note have you sat down and talked to her about it....and if it comes to divorce you can get out w/alienation of affection...Good luck bro...btw you going to the Metrolina in 2 weeks?

what a waste of testosterone. I feel for you bro.

For the opposite perspective from what you have been getting...

I enjoy masturbating more than sex with my wife... not because she isn't good.. but... well... because.. I've had her already.. many times. And yet, I love her to death, and I would never cheat on her.. and I try to give it to her at least a couple times a week.

so... maybe it isnt what you want hear.. but people get tired of each other. It sounds to me like you are doing the right thing. Be the rock. Stay true.. give her her space - be loving everywhere else in the relationship.

Do lots of your own wanking... and maybe she'll come around.

Hopefully during your next cycle on Test!

Good luck, bro!

-j69

One other frustrating thing is that it seems like the rules are always changing. A few months ago, I was told I needed to be more aggressive, now I've been told to back off (neither is working).

And yeah, I sort of do feel like this is a waste of testosterone. One of the big reasons I wanted to do this cycle was to get my libido going... Now I'm all geared up and no place to go!

I think things will work out, it's just very frustrating waiting. Honestly things haven't been great in awhile, but this has made me realize really how bad things have become. I think alot of it is my wife's stress levels, which should be letting up soon, as she is taking the rest of the semester off from work, and then the summer off from school.

And, this might be my last cycle, it'll depend on how my natural levels respond to post cycle therapy.

MWC - I definitely want to go to the metrolina - that's in concord, right?

The wife and I did (outside of therapy) this packet we found on the web... The concept was there are 10 common areas that people really care about and have differing ideas or problems about in relationships. Each partner is supposed to fill out the sheet on these 10 things, rate how fullfilled they are, what they would lke to change, etc. Then they rank them in order of importance.

Obviously, one of the items is sex. On mine, I said I'd like to have sex twice a day... She put 4-5 times a month (which surprised me, considering we don't have it once lately)... She also said she'd like to try new things, but when we were talking and I asked her "like what", or what kind of things (and when I've asked her in the past), she just says "I'm not going to tell you, you should just know". WTF?

And, in trying not to pressure her, and knowing that she wants to masturbate or whatever without sex sometimes, I've told her I'm willing to just try and pleasure her, just watch, or whatever - being a part of it would be nice. That pretty much got flatly rejected. Anyway, all just very frustrating. Sorry that I'm remembering things I want to write in bits and pieces (does help my post count, though)