bigshug
New member
OK, so I drop little hints all the time in my posts that should clue you in to the fact that my wife and mine's sex life just ain't what it used to be. Lately, things had gotten better but then......
We had all but decided that we would get a separation, and then at the last minute she decided (this is the way it happens every time, if I had suggested that we "work it out" she would've said "no, I don't want to try with you anymore") that we should do one of three things 1. take a vacation, just the two of us 2. go see a counselor 3. talk things over, and try to consense on what we should do.
None of these things happened, as I told her that my only gripe - aside from her spendind WAAAAY too much money at times without even talking it over with me - is that I don't get sex as often as I'd like. She agreed, and told me that she'd work on becoming more sexual for me (shouldn't it be that way anyway?), and things were OK for a few days. But then, as it happens every time, she started denying me repeatedly and then would get mad with me when I got frustrated.
Let me say this...I'm not used to NOT having sex...a lot. GF's in the past have been very sexual, and no, they weren't women of low moral value.
Lately, too, on specific days when the majority of couples I know have sex.....we dont'. Case in point------
Last Thurs was our 4 yr anniversary. No sex, I tried and she just said, "I'm sorry." Fri...no sex - yup, I tried again. Sat, the day we decided to actually celebrate our anniversary, no sex. She even got drunk and promised it to me when we got home, and then nothing happened. She acted all whiny, and said we'd "do it" the next morning.....then she refused the next morning, too. Sun night, she was kinda flirty and wanted me to massage her back and legs - which, lately has led to some action - and then denied me, and even covered her "naughty bits" up and fought me when I tried to cop a feel. And she wonders why I walk around moody, pissed off, and right on the ragged godd@mn edge all the time.....
Problem is, she doesn't get it. She doesn't think that making me wait for weeks or even months (went for 14 month stretch once) is a bad thing. I don't know anyone who would've stayed faithful to their wife this long under these circumstances. Everyone I've spoken with, and I try to give as non-biased and objective a stance as I can - has agreed that what she's doing is not fair. She responds to that by saying that I work with a bunch of rednecks who don't know shit... so I respond with, "So why don't you ask your best friend and her husband what they think? Why don't you ask [him] what he'd do if his wife cut him off for that long?" She won't do it though....
It sucks folks. I really need affectionate contact and it's just not happening. She even said that she doesn't like to give back rubs and things of that nature....not because it's me, but just because she doesn't feel like it. I even joked with her the other day and said she was too lazy to have sex, and she AGREED. What the fuck??
The fact that I'm on gear makes it even worse, as my sex drive is through the roof and I have no one to satisfy me......I'm not saying it's her "duty" or anything like that, but it should be part of a loving relationship. She claims that she loves me more than anything, but then won't do shit with me.....
And no, she's not cheating. I believe that with 100% of my being.
It sucks to think of ending a relationship with someone about whom you care sooo much "just because of sex" but it's my opinion that it's a necessary part of a healthy relationship. Period. I can't imagine living the rest of my life like this......I know that I have my children to consider, but isn't my happiness important, too??
We had all but decided that we would get a separation, and then at the last minute she decided (this is the way it happens every time, if I had suggested that we "work it out" she would've said "no, I don't want to try with you anymore") that we should do one of three things 1. take a vacation, just the two of us 2. go see a counselor 3. talk things over, and try to consense on what we should do.
None of these things happened, as I told her that my only gripe - aside from her spendind WAAAAY too much money at times without even talking it over with me - is that I don't get sex as often as I'd like. She agreed, and told me that she'd work on becoming more sexual for me (shouldn't it be that way anyway?), and things were OK for a few days. But then, as it happens every time, she started denying me repeatedly and then would get mad with me when I got frustrated.
Let me say this...I'm not used to NOT having sex...a lot. GF's in the past have been very sexual, and no, they weren't women of low moral value.
Lately, too, on specific days when the majority of couples I know have sex.....we dont'. Case in point------
Last Thurs was our 4 yr anniversary. No sex, I tried and she just said, "I'm sorry." Fri...no sex - yup, I tried again. Sat, the day we decided to actually celebrate our anniversary, no sex. She even got drunk and promised it to me when we got home, and then nothing happened. She acted all whiny, and said we'd "do it" the next morning.....then she refused the next morning, too. Sun night, she was kinda flirty and wanted me to massage her back and legs - which, lately has led to some action - and then denied me, and even covered her "naughty bits" up and fought me when I tried to cop a feel. And she wonders why I walk around moody, pissed off, and right on the ragged godd@mn edge all the time.....
Problem is, she doesn't get it. She doesn't think that making me wait for weeks or even months (went for 14 month stretch once) is a bad thing. I don't know anyone who would've stayed faithful to their wife this long under these circumstances. Everyone I've spoken with, and I try to give as non-biased and objective a stance as I can - has agreed that what she's doing is not fair. She responds to that by saying that I work with a bunch of rednecks who don't know shit... so I respond with, "So why don't you ask your best friend and her husband what they think? Why don't you ask [him] what he'd do if his wife cut him off for that long?" She won't do it though....
It sucks folks. I really need affectionate contact and it's just not happening. She even said that she doesn't like to give back rubs and things of that nature....not because it's me, but just because she doesn't feel like it. I even joked with her the other day and said she was too lazy to have sex, and she AGREED. What the fuck??
The fact that I'm on gear makes it even worse, as my sex drive is through the roof and I have no one to satisfy me......I'm not saying it's her "duty" or anything like that, but it should be part of a loving relationship. She claims that she loves me more than anything, but then won't do shit with me.....
And no, she's not cheating. I believe that with 100% of my being.
It sucks to think of ending a relationship with someone about whom you care sooo much "just because of sex" but it's my opinion that it's a necessary part of a healthy relationship. Period. I can't imagine living the rest of my life like this......I know that I have my children to consider, but isn't my happiness important, too??