ANGER CAN BE TURNED POSITIVE ,USE IT THAT WAY. i USE MINE TO DO THINGS IVE BEEN PROCRASTINATING ABOUT. NO MATTER WHAT THE ISSUE IS, PUTTING IN A NEW LAMP,NEW DOOR, OR ILL CALL UP SOME COMPANY ON THE PHONE USUALLY A UTILITY COMPMANY OR A CREDIT CARD COMPANY AND SCREAM AT THEM THAT THEIR RATE S ARE TO HIGH, IT HELPS, SOMETIMES THEY EVEN LOWERED THE RATES
Anger
- Thread starter footballcat
- Start date
cybersteffan
New member
You're furious. You could break something, punch someone, have a screaming hissyfit, or plot your revenge. Or you could just smile and say, "Oh, really, it's okay."
None of these options offers you any real satisfaction, though, or makes any progress toward resolving whatever ticked you off in the first place.
If you go nuts and hurt something or someone, the bad situation will just get worse. You may get your butt kicked or get in more trouble than you were before. What might have been a small conflict can escalate into an ongoing battle and become yet another thing you have to worry about. Who needs that kind of hassle?
On the other hand, if you swallow your anger, pretend it doesn't exist, you're setting yourself up for more anguish down the line. Anger turned inward can become depression, and really, that makes it all worse. A whole series of these indignities can fly by and eventually you find yourself with your face in the pillow wondering how you got so bummed out.
There's got to be a better way.
Accept Your Feelings
As luck would have it, there is. Well, take a deep breath, step back, and take a moment to think about it. Anger is natural, and some things should tick you off. It's an instinctive reaction that lets us know something is wrong and we need to take care of it. So accept your anger, but don't take it out on others. Let the heat pass before you try to resolve things. This can be hard to do, but with a little practice it gets easier.
Physical release is great for this. If you're hot with anger, go for a run, take a couple of hours in the batting cage -- whatever your pleasure. That kind of release puts you in a great place -- calmer and more lucid to take the next step, which is equally important.
Take Action When You've Calmed Down
Next, talk it out. If you take the time to physically burn off your initial reaction, what was a confrontation can become a conversation. Anger is the red flag that goes up when you feel you've been slighted or wronged. Working through that reaction allows you to deal with the situation.
You're then free to go to the person who's hacked you off and say, "When this happened, I got angry because I felt like this or that..." This is the most underestimated tactic for dealing with anger effectively.
Seems too simple? When someone ticks you off, most of the time they weren't aiming to make you mad. They may even be surprised when you tell them. If they didn't mean to make you mad, they're probably going to be willing to work it all out with you. So start by telling them that you're angry and then follow up with a conversation.
Some people mistake the words "I am angry" for "I don't like you anymore." So, if someone accidentally made you mad, they may get very defensive when you tell them why. When this happens, they may not understand that you're trying to work it out because you like them and want to continue the friendship without bad feelings lurking in the background. If this happens, be very reassuring -- "Look I'm angry about this, but I like you a lot and I want to work this out so we can just be cool with each other again."
Sometimes the situation can't be resolved through talking -- you can't force someone to think or feel the way you want them to. But stating your feelings clearly and confidently will put the power back in your hands. If the other party wants to be that way, well, it's his or her right.
There are also those times when someone tries to tick you off on purpose. Some people make others angry as a means to control situations. It can be a trick to throw you off your guard. The right provocation can send just about anyone into a tizzy, but knowing that someone is trying to make you angry lets you retain your composure. In situations like these, conversation probably won't resolve things. But you can still take care of yourself -- accept your anger, learn from it, say what you feel, then let it go.
None of these options offers you any real satisfaction, though, or makes any progress toward resolving whatever ticked you off in the first place.
If you go nuts and hurt something or someone, the bad situation will just get worse. You may get your butt kicked or get in more trouble than you were before. What might have been a small conflict can escalate into an ongoing battle and become yet another thing you have to worry about. Who needs that kind of hassle?
On the other hand, if you swallow your anger, pretend it doesn't exist, you're setting yourself up for more anguish down the line. Anger turned inward can become depression, and really, that makes it all worse. A whole series of these indignities can fly by and eventually you find yourself with your face in the pillow wondering how you got so bummed out.
There's got to be a better way.
Accept Your Feelings
As luck would have it, there is. Well, take a deep breath, step back, and take a moment to think about it. Anger is natural, and some things should tick you off. It's an instinctive reaction that lets us know something is wrong and we need to take care of it. So accept your anger, but don't take it out on others. Let the heat pass before you try to resolve things. This can be hard to do, but with a little practice it gets easier.
Physical release is great for this. If you're hot with anger, go for a run, take a couple of hours in the batting cage -- whatever your pleasure. That kind of release puts you in a great place -- calmer and more lucid to take the next step, which is equally important.
Take Action When You've Calmed Down
Next, talk it out. If you take the time to physically burn off your initial reaction, what was a confrontation can become a conversation. Anger is the red flag that goes up when you feel you've been slighted or wronged. Working through that reaction allows you to deal with the situation.
You're then free to go to the person who's hacked you off and say, "When this happened, I got angry because I felt like this or that..." This is the most underestimated tactic for dealing with anger effectively.
Seems too simple? When someone ticks you off, most of the time they weren't aiming to make you mad. They may even be surprised when you tell them. If they didn't mean to make you mad, they're probably going to be willing to work it all out with you. So start by telling them that you're angry and then follow up with a conversation.
Some people mistake the words "I am angry" for "I don't like you anymore." So, if someone accidentally made you mad, they may get very defensive when you tell them why. When this happens, they may not understand that you're trying to work it out because you like them and want to continue the friendship without bad feelings lurking in the background. If this happens, be very reassuring -- "Look I'm angry about this, but I like you a lot and I want to work this out so we can just be cool with each other again."
Sometimes the situation can't be resolved through talking -- you can't force someone to think or feel the way you want them to. But stating your feelings clearly and confidently will put the power back in your hands. If the other party wants to be that way, well, it's his or her right.
There are also those times when someone tries to tick you off on purpose. Some people make others angry as a means to control situations. It can be a trick to throw you off your guard. The right provocation can send just about anyone into a tizzy, but knowing that someone is trying to make you angry lets you retain your composure. In situations like these, conversation probably won't resolve things. But you can still take care of yourself -- accept your anger, learn from it, say what you feel, then let it go.
LaMastaKilla
New member
i love my temper!
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