> >
> > I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but,
> by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with
> the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in
> the morning!
> >
> > ---------------------------
> >
> > The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers,
> so I did. She's 21 and her name's Lucy.
> >
> > --------------------------------
> >
> > Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. The locals
> were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because
> my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50.
> > It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
> > ------------------------------------
> >
> > My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in
> his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools
> this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching
> altogether."
> >
> > ---------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine. Could only
> use it for half an hour as I started to feel sick. It's great
> though. It provides me
> > with everything I need - KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato
> Crisps, the lot."
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Question - Are there too many immigrants in the USA?
> > 17% said yes; 11% said No; 72% said "I am not understanding
> the question please."
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------
> >
> > The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is
> having sex with me
> > because she can't afford batteries.
> >
> > -----------------------------------------------
> >
> > A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The
> operator says, "How
> > do you know?" He says "The sex is about the same, but the
> ironing is piling up!"
> >
> > ------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
> > reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She
> said she would
> > like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't
> been listening."
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to
> prepare for the
> > worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her
> clothes back.
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------------------
> > I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new
> children's-oriented iPod after realizing that "iTouch Kids" is
> not a good product name.
> >
> > -----------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > There's a new Muslim clothing shop that opened in our shopping
> center, but they threw me out after I asked if I could look at
> some of the bomber jackets.
> >
> > -----------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could
> contribute towards the floods in Pakistan . I said we'd love
> to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.
> >
> >
> > I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but,
> by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with
> the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in
> the morning!
> >
> > ---------------------------
> >
> > The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers,
> so I did. She's 21 and her name's Lucy.
> >
> > --------------------------------
> >
> > Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. The locals
> were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because
> my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50.
> > It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
> > ------------------------------------
> >
> > My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in
> his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools
> this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching
> altogether."
> >
> > ---------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine. Could only
> use it for half an hour as I started to feel sick. It's great
> though. It provides me
> > with everything I need - KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato
> Crisps, the lot."
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Question - Are there too many immigrants in the USA?
> > 17% said yes; 11% said No; 72% said "I am not understanding
> the question please."
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------
> >
> > The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is
> having sex with me
> > because she can't afford batteries.
> >
> > -----------------------------------------------
> >
> > A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The
> operator says, "How
> > do you know?" He says "The sex is about the same, but the
> ironing is piling up!"
> >
> > ------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
> > reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She
> said she would
> > like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't
> been listening."
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to
> prepare for the
> > worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her
> clothes back.
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------------------
> > I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new
> children's-oriented iPod after realizing that "iTouch Kids" is
> not a good product name.
> >
> > -----------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > There's a new Muslim clothing shop that opened in our shopping
> center, but they threw me out after I asked if I could look at
> some of the bomber jackets.
> >
> > -----------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could
> contribute towards the floods in Pakistan . I said we'd love
> to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.
> >
> >
