my heartbreak story

https://ugloz.is/ domestic-supplyUS-PHARMACIES UGFREAK
There is probley a lot that i dont know. I dont know the extent of deors relationship for instance. I've heard roomers that nicole and deor have sex when nicole is in between boyfriends, or having problems. Deor hated us dating because it took away his dance partner. Everyone here is big into dancing, and music.... So deor wasnt for nicole and i dating since the beginning. Alyssa was pissed that i was dating nicole in the beginning. She was planning on this big summer with nicole and it was foiled by nicole dating me. There was a lot of tension at first between alyssa and i. I think both of them want to fuck her, thats where there motives lye. What pisses me off, is nicole goes to them 2 for advice.....

one night i get done at the bar. I go to nicoles house. Its a small party.... about 10 people. I walk in the door... nicole grabs me and says i want to fuck.... takes me upstairs. So we're naked, just starting to go at it.... deor walks in. He says hi guys, im going to watch. Now.... Im not exactly cool with this. I stop, he says oh... sorry, and takes off. So im like, that was weird. We start back up again, and in walks courtney.... She says "hey im just going to watch".... Then she says "oh, wait... let me get my glasses"... she then comes back with a dildo, and says... This is fucking hot, "you guys dont mind if i masterbate- do you?" ..... Now im totally sober...... I mean, i just got off work, and literally walked into this orgy.

So i cover up... i say, "you guys have to give me a minute".... I need a drink or something. I ask nicole... did you guys plan this? im like why the fuck are all these people walking into our room? -she said no. Everyone is just crazy.

Now nicole and i have this rule. We dont watch people fuck, unless we're together.

So i go downstairs and start pounding drinks.... Everyone is just kinda hooking up with everyone. Nicole and i, deor and this dude and this chick, alyssa and kristin, courtney is kinda by herself... I dont know who else. I get distracted with deor and this chick, courtney grabs nicole and goes upstairs. I hear the door slam.

I give it about 5 minutes. Then i decide to go see what nicoles up to. I walk into this room..... And nicole and courtney are sitting down, watching alyssa bang the shit out of Kristy. -Im kind of fucking pissed..... They say, "joe come sit down.... " im like no, sorry..... go back downstairs and start packing my shit. Nicole grabs me and says dont leave.... talk to me. So im calm, im just like.... How would you feel if i had a party, left you down stairs while i went upstairs with a chick, to watch 2 people fuck? Nicole started balling her eyes out.... i mean just screaming really load. I said, nic, im not leaving you.... I just need some space. You broke a pretty major rule we had....
 
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I've never had as much of a psychic connection as i had with nicole. I mean, shit like, we'd both text each other exactly at the same time..... usually saying either the same thing, or one of us would be a step ahead of the other. Like answering questions that havent been asked yet. It was pretty fucking crazy. We could read each others emotions pretty well. I dont know what happened to that during the last week we had together. You'd think I would have known something was up. She met this co-worker saturday night at a bar. He is from germany, I guess he really liked nicole and he pursued her from that point till they went out 4 days later. She told me about him at first, told me how unprofessional it was for him to be hitting on her.

I can see what was happening now.... I came home sunday night, she was crying. She said.... "I hate the bar" ... I said, nicole, i love you. If you want me to quit, ill do that. 2 days before her date with the german guy, she started questioning everything. She said "why do you love me?" - I had a million reasons, If i knew our relationship was hinging on my response... I would have sat her down and listed them out for her. There literally is a million reasons. During sex, she said.... I need you to make love to me, not just fuck me. -still being an idiot, not seeing what was going on, i was being playful and didnt give her what she wanted.

Thursday night.... Shes gone. I could feel that. I knew something was up. She looked wonderful when she left for work in the morning. She had plans. She went out to dinner with the german guy. She was gone for 5 hours. I dont think they had sex, but you dont have dinner with someone for 5 hours without intimacy. Its raining.... Im at work. Im standing out in the rain, cause i know something fucked up is happening. She pulls up to me in her car. Cant even wait for me to walk over to her, she jumps out, comes up to me and the first thing out of her mouth is "are you okay?" ..... Im like yeah, she says again "are you okay?"...... I say where have you been? she says, i was out with the girls- she couldnt look at me in the face. I just say "you werent with the girls where you?" .... She had this horrible look of shame on her face.... She said no....
 
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Wow, this is a lot of drama... and mixed up variables. I don't party anymore and when I do get together with friends, everyone isn't fxcking or watching each other fxck. Sounds like your job and the type of partying you guys do, didn't exactly help with the security of the relationship.
 
for someone that was completely crushed, i maintained my composure pretty well. I didnt really loose my mind till later. I guess it took a little time to settle in what i just lost.

I just asked "was it the german guy?" she said yes. My first reaction was.... after 4 months of accusing me? you cheat on me? How can you do that? she said "it was a mistake" i know now that i love you, your the only one i want..... I said "you fucked up, i loved you with all my heart and you fucked up" I cant remember everything.... but she said "joe, dont give up on me"...

she texted me all night and the next day. I had a bash.... Had everyone over from work. Got trashed.... passed out on the floor alone.
 
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normalsucks said:
I've never had as much of a physic connection as i had with nicole. I mean, shit like, we'd both text each other exactly at the same time..... usually saying either the same thing, or one of us would be a step ahead of the other. Like answering questions that havent been asked yet. It was pretty fucking crazy. We could read each others emotions pretty well. I dont know what happened to that during the last week we had together. You'd think I would have known something was up. She met this co-worker saturday night at a bar. He is from germany, I guess he really liked nicole and he pursued her from that point till they went out 4 days later. She told me about him at first, told me how unprofessional it was for him to be hitting on her.

I can see what was happening now.... I came home sunday night, she was crying. She said.... "I hate the bar" ... I said, nicole, i love you. If you want me to quit, ill do that. 2 days before her date with the german guy, she started questioning everything. She said "why do you love me?" - I had a million reasons, If i knew our relationship was hinging on my response... I would have sat her down and listed them out for her. There literally is a million reasons. During sex, she said.... I need you to make love to me, not just fuck me. -still being an idiot, not seeing what was going on, i was being playful and didnt give her what she wanted.

Thursday night.... Shes gone. I could feel that. I knew something was up. She looked wonderful when she left for work in the morning. She had plans. She went out to dinner with the german guy. She was gone for 5 hours. I dont think they had sex, but you dont have dinner with someone for 5 hours without intimacy. Its raining.... Im at work. Im standing out in the rain, cause i know something fucked up is happening. She pulls up to me in her car. Cant even wait for me to walk over to her, she jumps out, comes up to me and the first thing out of her mouth is "are you okay?" ..... Im like yeah, she says again "are you okay?"...... I say where have you been? she says, i was out with the girls- she couldnt look at me in the face. I just say "you werent with the girls where you?" .... He had this horrible look of shame on her face.... She said no....
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Did you mean Psychic or Psychotic lol, geez brutha, this is some of the best reading I have done in a long long time! You should write a book or someshit,lol
 
Presser said:
Did you mean Psychic or Psychotic lol, geez brutha, this is some of the best reading I have done in a long long time! You should write a book or someshit,lol
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I thought that too, would make a great book. Sounds like you two were like the ingredients to TNT or something. Stable when separated, but when mixed...BOOM! And in many ways that's what made you so perfect for each other, but there is no way you could ever stay together for long periods of time without a major explosion occuring.
 
Next night had another party, got high....

next night... saturday night, i decided i needed to deal with this sober. So i went home.... tried to go to bed and just sleep. I get a phone call at 4am from alyssa. She says she is drunk and needs a ride back to her car. Now.... part of me wonders if she knew what nicole was up to. Whether, this was planned. Because... I didnt ask where lyssa need a ride to, because i trusted she wouldnt put me in harms way. She ended up needing a ride 1 mile from nicoles house..... So obviously, what the fuck am i going to do? I call nicole, i tell her im coming over..... I go to her place, she isnt there. She spent the night with the german guy.

This is what really sent me spinning. How the hell can you do that? 2 days later??? how disrespectful. I flipped out... called her and called her a whore, just about everything under the sun. That fucking pissed me off to no end. When i finally got ahold of her on sunday.... she said it was none of my business what she was doing. We where over on Thursday.

I dont think she understood, that most normal people cant go from loving someone to just jumping into another persons bed. I mean, i did that with my wife.... but i wasnt in love with my wife anymore- that took years to fade. You dont love someone one minute and not the next.... thats whats really hard to understand. How nicole could just loose it like that??
 
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Over the course of the next 2 months i literally emailed, called, or did whatever to reach nicole every day. She basically didnt respond to me at all. I got high, drunk, and took sleeping pills every night to deal with the pain.

Im now at the point where i cant smoke pot anymore. Its to painful. At first, it numbed the pain. But every time i get high now..... I think about nicole. Its just fucking aweful, its not fun.... I spend the next day thinking about everything i thought about while i was high. So i quit.... I needed to clean up anyways, eventually im going back to working a day job, usually i get tested.

My last attempt was monday. I took this pic (its a pic of me saying i still love you nicole), emailed to her. Nicole pushed me away even further, basically said it wasnt health for either of us to continue talking.

karah (new gf) was actually head to my place, I was drinking.... decided to put this pic on facebook- like a dumb ass. Lets just say, karah didnt come over that night.....

working on the pic (doesnt fit for some reason).
 
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steph said:
Wow, this is a lot of drama... and mixed up variables. I don't party anymore and when I do get together with friends, everyone isn't fxcking or watching each other fxck. Sounds like your job and the type of partying you guys do, didn't exactly help with the security of the relationship.
Click to expand...

your right steph. Both nicole and i just wanted each other. So it was a crazy environment to be in, but seriously wasnt something we needed. It just happened.
 
So tuesday, karah decides to give it another shot. She comes over, I have a couple people over. All of a sudden karah says, lets go skinny dipping joe!! So her and i jump into my neighbors kiddie pool. I take pics of her (obviously) .... then we run back... everyone is inside, so we run past everyone butt naked. She goes into the bathroom, i go into my bedroom.

I dont think we would have fucked if it didnt happen like this. I've been such a wreck over nicole, sex was just next to impossible for the last couple months. I slept with kelsie (the one bitting my boob in the party pic/ chick i picked up at the party) but it didnt go well....

So, im still naked, trying to find some clothes, karah comes out of the bathroom with just a towel on. She comes up to me, without even thinking... i turn and we just started making out....It was like BAM!!

I pick her up and throw her on my bed... took the towel off and we fuck like mad.- she said she came 5 times, I didnt cum at all (i was to drunk). My legs where exhausted, I did an hour of cardio, and legs that day.... I gave up after like an hour.

After she leaves..... I take the pic you see of karah, i emailed it to nicole. I said "by the way" "she is way better".....

Alyssa blisters me the next morning for it.....She said i lost any remote chance of ever having anything with nicole. -so obviously nicole saw the pic, and told alyssa about it.
 
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Norm, no disrespect, but that chick is a piece of total shit. I don't care what she said or how psychotic she got when you two were together... she never gave a fuck about you. I don't think she even meets the criteria for friends with benefits. You are WAY better off now. That bitch would've landed you in jail, probably with an STD to boot. I hope you can see her for what she really is in the very near future. Again, no disrespect, but you wrote a lot about her and I know a TON of girls that are exactly like her. You're better off bro.
 
That was a great read normal. The people here at MC are the greatest I've ever met. Have fun with this new girl and make every second count bro.
 
thanks guys.... Im meeting new chicks every night. I met this girl katlin tonight. We danced, made out on the dance floor. I think she took my number down wrong though.... anyways, Im a new man. I have the opportunity to have a lot of fun now. Im the head bouncer at a club, get to do who ever and whatever i want. Up till now, i was married, or had a GF. So i had to always restrain myself. Now its like open season.... I just have to be somewhat cool about it. Making out with chicks, isnt exactly professional.

It literally takes me less than a minute to walk home from work.... I just need to let it sink in. I could have went to a rave tonight in detroit... but decided to get some good sleep and nail biceps and triceps tomorrow. 1 hour of cardio.... I lost 10 lbs in the last 2 months, while on gear.... That says something.

im going to try my best to stay single not get wrapped up in a million one night stands. But dont want a relationship either. I just want to concentrate on me for a while.
 
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steph said:
Nicole was probably hurt in her past and was struggling to get over the emotional issues that were haunting her.
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I dont know steph. It has to be something more. I mean, she just ripped my heart out- i've never been so devastated. But the next woman, i choose to have a commitment with-i wont have issues with. I mean, you usually figure out in the beginning what your dealing with and whether you cant trust someone. I was wrong with nicole, but im not letting that effect my next relationship. Ill never take someone who is bi- seriously again. If someone is going through my shit, im not going to take them seriously either.

I will never take someone serious that hits on me as hard core either. People that are that aggressive, are not to be trusted. Ill fuck them... but thats about it.

Nicole was the first bi-sexual person that i've ever had a committed relationship with. A good friend of mine gave me advice i wish i took. He said people who are bi- usually need so much attention that its impossible for one person to fill there needs. Im beginning to think this is true....

Its either that, or nicole had something even worst happen to her. Like she was rapped or something. I cant imagine heart brake causes this kind of behavior.
 
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The Dude said:
Norm, no disrespect, but that chick is a piece of total shit. I don't care what she said or how psychotic she got when you two were together... she never gave a fuck about you. I don't think she even meets the criteria for friends with benefits. You are WAY better off now. That bitch would've landed you in jail, probably with an STD to boot. I hope you can see her for what she really is in the very near future. Again, no disrespect, but you wrote a lot about her and I know a TON of girls that are exactly like her. You're better off bro.
Click to expand...

dude... I've had a lot of people tell me this. Your not the first. I really need to keep hearing it, let it fully sink in.

I wish i could just move on.... but seriously, im fucking wrecked. I have to stop writing this fucking thread.... its fucking me up even more just writing about it.
 
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Nancy is a hot ass asian. I have a date with her on tuesday. Its funny... i gave her my number on saturday. She called me right away, i think to program it in her phone. not knowing... i checked my phone at the club, saw a number thought it might be katlin (night before), called it back.... fucking karah texted me and said.... You just called nancy- you jerk! lol... they work together at the door.... totally fucking busted!!! I think i can swing this, we will see.

no chicks tonight. I spent the night recovering from someone i almost killed. My temper has been out of control. I think its from this whole nicole thing, I've had several issues lately, could be from the gear. I literally threw this dude off the stage, and dragged him out the door... he resisted, so he got pretty beat up. His friends freaked out... so i spent the whole night trying to calm myself down, then calm his friends and family down. then assure the owner nobody will sue. kind of a fucked up night.

i have the next 2 nights off thank god.
 
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