N
n_nighmare
Guest
I got some things to talk about , and since none of you know me in person figured be a great place to do it cause if not im gonna end up fucking some shit up or going jail or idk what but ive been driving myself crazy and im just wanting to know if its just me or if anybody else on here is the same way I am. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend cause I just felt like I didnt want to date her anymore and being around her was one of my main problems of why I been pissing myself off cause I dont get to eat much when im over there and theres alot of stress and drama involved with her. But so I always end up thinking about the way I look my body , see myself in mirrors when Im walkin around get bored and watch youtube , videos of people working out and I fuckin hate the way I look now. I just want my body to be perfect right now and i know thats not going to happen so I just keep getting so pissed off that I dont even wanna workout which I think im going to make myself do in a little bit after I get all this out , and I dont even know what the fuck im talkin about my minds in a different place right now.
But I just feel like breaking shit , throwing shit , doing whatever. Ive been talkin to one of my friends which i like about getting up with her and dating her , and shes on vacation no big deal ill call her every once in a while but im not wantin to keep callin her because I dont wanna feel needy or anything like that , and definitely dont wanna talk to her cause might end up scaring her off or pushing her away cause i dont want to tell her all the shits in my head cause I dont even know what im really sayin its just coming out and I cant get to the fuckin point I just keep rambling , but my body looks like shit right now. I just feel like I got to put my body through hell and get it cut up and bulked right now. Just forget all the shit ive pretty much said , Does anybody ever feel sorta anything like how im feeling now, Where you just want to put yourself through a bunch of pain from working out to get your body how you want it to be because you think you deserve to be hurt for looking as bad as you do and drive yourself crazy about it where you cant think straight and dont know what the fuck to do.
Im going to do some ab work and I hate doing abs but I know im going to push myself hard as hell so im just wondering if its going to be alright probably trainining abs hard as hell every single day or whenever I feel like this , just as long as im eating all throughout the day and taking in creatine.
My whole like reason for working out has changed , I just realized that my reason for working out , is to push myself as hard as I can through the pain to make myself feel better about myself , to make myself believe that regardless of everything that I tried my best. Not for strength or anything like that , which looks and strength from working out will come on its own and cause happiness but thats not why im going to push myself anymore , but because I feel like if I dont that I cant look at myself in the mirror that I can live with myself. Before it used to be just about lookin good and getting stronger but that dont really mean anything now , its about my pride and hopefully u get where im going cause I dont know how to say it or to word it. But later. Just wish me luck with everything cause my life sucks and pisses me off right now. everything about it the major things in my life are shit
But I just feel like breaking shit , throwing shit , doing whatever. Ive been talkin to one of my friends which i like about getting up with her and dating her , and shes on vacation no big deal ill call her every once in a while but im not wantin to keep callin her because I dont wanna feel needy or anything like that , and definitely dont wanna talk to her cause might end up scaring her off or pushing her away cause i dont want to tell her all the shits in my head cause I dont even know what im really sayin its just coming out and I cant get to the fuckin point I just keep rambling , but my body looks like shit right now. I just feel like I got to put my body through hell and get it cut up and bulked right now. Just forget all the shit ive pretty much said , Does anybody ever feel sorta anything like how im feeling now, Where you just want to put yourself through a bunch of pain from working out to get your body how you want it to be because you think you deserve to be hurt for looking as bad as you do and drive yourself crazy about it where you cant think straight and dont know what the fuck to do.
Im going to do some ab work and I hate doing abs but I know im going to push myself hard as hell so im just wondering if its going to be alright probably trainining abs hard as hell every single day or whenever I feel like this , just as long as im eating all throughout the day and taking in creatine.
My whole like reason for working out has changed , I just realized that my reason for working out , is to push myself as hard as I can through the pain to make myself feel better about myself , to make myself believe that regardless of everything that I tried my best. Not for strength or anything like that , which looks and strength from working out will come on its own and cause happiness but thats not why im going to push myself anymore , but because I feel like if I dont that I cant look at myself in the mirror that I can live with myself. Before it used to be just about lookin good and getting stronger but that dont really mean anything now , its about my pride and hopefully u get where im going cause I dont know how to say it or to word it. But later. Just wish me luck with everything cause my life sucks and pisses me off right now. everything about it the major things in my life are shit
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