Please help

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Well i went to junior college in the fall to play baseball and work on getting my grades up so i could transfer to a four year school and hopefully major in something like exercise science, strength condition, sports medicine, ect... Problem was that when i got there, I got caught back up into drinking and smoking marijuana on a regular basis and i lost all of my goals in the weightroom and in school. Slowly i began to pull more and more away from people until basically all i wanted to do was either get high,drunk, or both and just basically be alone. My depression got worse and worse and when the semester ended i came home. After i got home i started using more and more drugs to mask my emotions and stopped working out completely.Things progressively got worse and worse until i came really close to attempting to kill myself. That was towards the end of March and ever since then i have not used any drugs but the depression is still there. Has anyone else ever felt like this- to the point where they cant get motivated to do anything and basically dont see any real point in living?? Im going to try and get back in the gym as soon as possilbe and see if that helps. Do you think this could all be related to low testosterone my entire life, and now after shutting myself down so hard, very little testosterone and excessive estrogen being produced?? Thanks again everyone for your help/support.
 
It certainly could be related, but until you go get it checked, you won't know.
 
How do i go about getting a testosterone test done. Do i need to get a referall to see an endocrinologist from my family physician?? Also as far as me being diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, has anyone else had to deal with this?? I'm not really sure if i have it or not but i guess the symptoms are there. Its like i can get excited about something and be in a really good mood for a while but i always seem to go back to being really moody and evenutally depressed, and like i have said over the past few months the depression has really surfaced to the point where life just seems pointless. I just dont want to be medicated to the point where i feel like a walking zombie all day. Is anyone else on any kind of medication for depression/bipolar and feel like it has helped them alot? Im just ready to get this all taken care of and get my life back. I honestly think though that i have had low testosterone my whole life and that when i cycled i made it that much worse. It just seems like thats a really strong possibilty because of the fact that my depression/anxiety has done nothing but get worse ever since i have been off. Im going to try and arrange getting some test done to see if this could be the problem. Thanks again everyone. It really helps to be able to talk about this and get some good suggestions. Depression is a really serious thing and it has had me out for a while but i am so ready to beat this i just need some help along the way.
 
Your family dr should be able to help, although you could get referred to an endocrinologist, too. I had my normal doc run the tests (complained of muscle loss, no sex drive, etc)
 
Do you think i should be completely honest with the doc, and tell him everything i took and how it affected me. The one thing i found really interesting is that when i was on cycle i felt alot better overall and noticed that my depression and anxiety basically went away. If he does find out my testosterone is low, what are some possibilities for treatment?? Would it be just as effective for me to run a short 8-10 week cycle of like 250 mgs a week of test and then follow that up with hcg, and clomid post-cycle?? Thanks again
 
It's up to you on whether you tell him. I probably wouldn't, though... Once you have a diagnosis, you can decide whether you want to be under his care (probably best) or medicate yourself (cheaper or more expensive, depending on what your insurance picks up).
 
The biggest thing is the erectile disfunction, followed by the depression. Like i said i have been dealing with depression/anxiety off and on for years but ever since i have cycled things have gotten noticeably worse and for the past few months my depression has hit an all time high, and i still have problems with getting/maintaing erections. It seems like the 2 go hand and hand which is why i am almost convinced that it is low testosterone. I guess my question is that is there anything a doctor will give me that will be some kind of permanent solution to get my sexual function restored and bring my testosterone levels up- or will he basically just be giving me a small shot once a wee, a testosterone patch, or something similar?? Has anyone else had any of my symptoms and gone to a doc who has actually helped them out, and got things back to normal sexually?? Thanks once again.
 
Bro, Contact Dr. John at allthingsmale.com and he can order all the tests and you can be completly honest with him. HE CAN AND WILL HELP YOU....
 
Problem is im only 19 (20 in august), and i still live with my rents. I dont know how i would be able to pay for his services. How much better would he be then just going to see an endcrinologist and being straight forward with them. The reason i ask is because i know my insurance will pay for me to see an endocrinologist, as i am working on getting a referal from my psychiatrist as low testosterone being a possible cause of some of my depression/anxiety. How would insurance handle me dealing with Dr. John ? I really just want to get this problem fixed as soon as possible and to hopefully be told that the erectile disfunction i have been experiencing is not permanent. thanks
 
Insurance would probably not pay for Dr. John. Espesially if you have to go through a primary doc. I would not tell your doc about anything you took because it could cause problems with your insurance company and would always be on your medical records. Down the road it could cause problems. But then again it might not. I wouldn't if I was in your shoes. I would just let them test you and see what happens. Just tell them your symptoms and see where it leads you.
 
Yea thats whats i figured. I am going to try and go through my psychologist to get a referal to an endocrinologist so i can get a full test done. Then, after im sure he finds low testosterone levels, I will see what he decides is the best solution for me. Has anyone else has a similar problem. Will the hrt be worth it?- or would it be just as good to go on constant 12 week cycles of say 250-300 mgs of test enathate followed by proper post cycle recovery with hcg and clomid
 
Look bro...I've been there and done that as well. Drugs, anxiety, and depression are probably causing 75% of your problems.

2 years ago I decided to try my first cycle as I had been working my ass off in the gym for 1 1/2 years (Had been working out since age 14, however...) and I was really starting to hit my limit. I was about 180-185 lbs pretty low bf. I was only 19 years old.

That cycle went well...and it just excited me about steroids even more. So I did proper recovery. Took 4 or 5 months off AAS and did my 2nd cycle. I started my 2nd cycle at around 175-180 or so. Everything was going great until I decided to go out drinking with my friends (something I hardly ever did then) and stupid me got a DUI. Well, that really screwed up my cycle. On top of that I had started taking some Norco's and Lortabs for muscle and injection pain (as I was using some very painful QV Enanthate) and I became addicted to first those pain pills then graduated my way to methadone. After taking methadone sometimes up to 120mg per day (very large amount) for close to a year I could not stop taking them or I would suffer really bad withdrawals. I could care less about relationships...I had no interest in sex...I could not get an erection and if I tried to have sex I would go limp.

To this day I still have a problem with libido, depression, addiction, etc. I contribute it to drug use rather then my steroid use. You really need to look at the pyschological side of your problems rather than physical, because often times that's where the answer lies.

I recently started another cycle. Its helping me quit my addiction and I actually have a sex drive again. :) I just really needed to focus on my goals, and priorities in life and actually start doing them. Try to get back in the gym. Take it one step at a time.

Even when I was vomiting, shaking, etc. from withdrawals the gym was one of the few things that made me feel good again. Focus, train, and start setting goals and I'm sure you'll start feeling good again. The hardest step is the first.
 
i got the exact same thing goin on with me.except i'm 30.exactly what you described to a tee 20inguns.i just started a new cycle myself yesterday.hopfully i will have a little sex drive during.also ordered b-12 and 10000 iu of hcg.let me know what the doc says,i am curious.good luck
 
Before you fuck yourself up further, go to a doctor and get checked out. Be it the Dr. at Allthingsmale, or a Dr. in your area. With your background (AAS use at a young age) another cycle as a solution is just a shot in the dark. There could be other things going on in addition to low test level.
You sound very down and worried. I can relate bro, honest. I was to a point that I used to pray every night that God would take my life 'cause I couldn't bring myself to suicide. Don't keep going through this. It will only destroy you, and take away years that should be the best in your life.
Please get to someone who can help you out. This board is a great place with a lot of accumulated knowledge, but this is something you need more help than we can honestly give you.
Now, I want to see a post from you telling us that you are following up on this... most ricky-tick. Otherwise, we'll have to send BigShug to your house to drag you there. :D
 
really sorry to hear your situation bro. just like everyone else, I would ercomend going to a doc, first of all. my mom had depression and anxiety problems, but since she's been on paxil (anti-depressant), shes a whole different person. and no, it didn't turn her into a "zombie". depression stems from an imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain (among other things), such as dopamine, acetylchline,norepinephrine, serotonin, and others. an anti depressant might be an option for you. but hell, don't listen to my rambling, see a professinal. hope everything gets better.
one more thing: perhaps you should try to find some interesting work. I know that I would go insane if I had nothing to do all day.
 
Alright so i went to the doctor and i have been diagnosed with severe add/depression resulting from a defficency in nuerotransmitters in my brain. They are going to put me on a combonation of either ritalin or adderal and wellbutrin and see how that works. He said if my depression doesnt get better in a couple of weeks he will try effexor too but he believes most of the symptoms of my depression are caused from extremely low dopamine preoduction which should be improved upon big time with the medicine i am being prescribed. I feel better already just knowing that things can/will change and get better. Only thing is i still really need to get my problems with libido/sexual function taken care of. I am working now to try and get my parents to help me out with getting a testosterone test done. What is the best kind of doctor to go to for this- endocrinologist, urologist, can my family doctor take care of it? Thanks again bros- im ready to get back in the weightroom and start busting my ass to get back in shape- maybe even cycle again once i found out where my testosterone is at and why i am having ED.
 
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